So, I broke with my ex 4 months ago, I thought I needed time to see how I really felt and decided I really did not want to be with him and was happy to be his friend. Anyway, he is in a band and I went out to see him last night. When I saw him he had a new girl with him, they have just started to see each other but it hit me kinda hard. I was not expecting that at all because I am totally over him. But I just saw the girl taking pictures and doing the things I used to do when I was the girlfriend. The whole night I felt wierd, and I still have a wierd empty feeling. I dont know what it is and why I feel this way, I dont know if it just the girlfriend or what, I feel I need to 'one up' her, too. If anyone has any insight, let me know.
2006-09-10 20:18:48 · 19 answers · asked by suzjm98 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know the feeling but just because you see him with a new girl doesn't mean that you want him back. Of course seeing another girl playing the role you used to play feels weird- it's like you've been replaced. But you have no idea the level of their relationship- it could just 'seem' like she's what you used to be. Feeling like you need to one up her is natural but you don't need to feed into those feelings. If you think you really want to be with him try talking to him innocently at first and see if you want him for him and not because he had another girl which made you feel a sting. You need to date as well and see how you feel then. Things always look different when you haven't moved on and the other one has.
2006-09-10 22:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by shosha_tiqo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're feeling wierd and empty because you did not expect that he would have someone new so quickly to replace you. Now you feel loss of self confidence and wondering why he does not miss you, right?
Do not despair. This is part of life. With this experience, you are supposed to learn that young people do change constantly and that although someone's actions in the past gave you the wrong impression, it happens.
Do be more discerning in the future and do not commit to relationships so easily, till you have made many friends. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends in groups until you are ready for commitment. This may take 2 to 5 years. You have time on your hands. So close that chapter of your life and start a new one. A wiser one.
2006-09-11 03:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you still love him. That empty feeling that you are talking about is depression, the most evil feeling in the universe. Try not to worry about him. At least he doesn't loathe you! You can find other great guys in the real world or on myspace/yahoo answers, such as me, who are helpful and sensitive. Maybe you can go to the doctor and get some anti-depressants. Or eat something with cocoa in it like chocolate, it is a natural chemical that makes you feel happy. The best way let your feelings out and to get back all those warm, happy feelings is to have a conversation and discuss anything you want/need to with someone you love or with someone on the internet, etc.
I hope you get things straightened out! Consider these things, they should provide you with hope:
1) He may lose her
2) He may be seeing her just to make you jealous and want him again
3) If all else fails, since he is a "friend", you should be able get into a conversation with him, even if it is just "chit-chat" and find out how he feels
4) Get one of your friends to find out what he feels/thinks
I hope this helps you!
P.S. send me a message if you need more help!
;)
2006-09-11 03:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only four months since you broke up, that's not long to get over someone completely, as you did once have feelings for the guy.
Your feelings towards them are totally natural as we would all like to be in love and watching your ex in love or happy is sometimes hard until we have found the one of our dreams too.
Please don't try and ' up one' to the girlfriend, that is totally futile. If he is your friend, then be happy for him, maybe get to know her. She maybe really nice and could end up as a good mate!
I'm sure you'll find the one that sweeps you off your feet too ; )
2006-09-11 03:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by lotusbunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's human nature. Like when you were little, and you were playing with a favourite toy. Then you lost interest and started playing with something else. But when some other little girl picked your favourite toy up, suddenly it was, "That's MY toy! I wannit! Mine!"
Recognise the feeling? He used to belong to you, and even though you don't want him anymore, somehow you feel that no one else should have him.
Plus there's the fact that you did have good times with him, and now you (temporarily) don't have a guy to cuddle up to. So it's only natural that you would pine for that feeling. Just remember that he was wrong for you, so the solution is not to go back to him - it's to look forward to the next guy you meet.
2006-09-11 03:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple b/c you weren't w/a guy and you don't want him to think that you haven't moved on......it's all about the impression, if you're really over him then it's just b/c you weren't w/anyone.....and seeing somebody an ex w/somebody else is just weird b/c you have a history there so it's not something you're used to seeing......don't worry about it, unless you really haven't gotten over him.....
2006-09-11 03:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by cub6ib9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel that, after all, he was "yours" You gotta realize that you made the choice to not be with him. Good for you. Now you need to be woman enough to let him be with whoever's next. Let him move on as you've done. Be happy for him. And please, do not one up the other girl... it's not like he cheated and she's the *****. She's just the next girl in her rightful place. K?
2006-09-11 03:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by pullinghairout 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be 10 years and we still get like that. I just found out my friend is dating one of my ex's. I broke up with him, never regretted it, met someone else and got married and it bothers me. I think part of us wants to think they will never move on, they will only love us.
2006-09-11 03:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by Fleur de Lis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are going to feel this way, you might have not want to stay with him but still it is difficult to see yourslf being replaced.
Have a night out with your friends to forget about him.
2006-09-11 03:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by Gal in red 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe you are not as over him as you thought you were. And maybe you are a little jealous of the new girlfriend.
2006-09-11 03:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋