I want to hear from parents who have used the Ferber method?

Question

I have a 4 month old girl and I've had some trouble getting her used to sleeping through the night. She wakes up many times, and won't go back to sleep unless I give her a pacifier, and even then she'll sometimes wake up again just minutes after. I'm tired of this, and I want to try the Ferber method but I'd like some feedback from parents who have used it with positive (or negative) results. And if you don't consider this method is good, I'd like some ideas about how to get her to sleep well, on her own. And how do I tell my mother-in-law that I don't want her to rock the baby to sleep? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I believe it's time for my daughter to learn to fall asleep by her self.
I really would appreciate any tips. Thanks!

and please, tell me something else rather than "she's too young to fall asleep on her own", because she did it when she was like 2 months old, and then she started going backwards for some reason... also, i've heard enough of "put her in bed with you", because I have a husband who doesnot like that, and i agree, i mean, how could we have sex with a baby in our bed? And about the rocking, seriusly, if i dont rock her she goes to sleep perfectly fin, why start with yet one more habit to make her go to sleep? isnt it bad enough that she cries for that pacifier? And, everyone i know says their babies sleep through the night since they were 3 months old, so i think it's time for me to be able to get some kind of good sleep, i dont think i'm asking for much. I dont intend to let her cry like crazy, i just want her to learn to go to sleep without much effort from me, because i'm exausted...

Answer 1

First, I feel your frustration. My older daughter started sleeping pretty well right around 2 months old (just waking once per night), then was waking frequently again at 4 months. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind, and I didn't understand why she was waking so much again after she'd been sleeping better.

What we did was to start finding a schedule that worked for her. I also started naptime and bedtime routines that ended with her being put down at about the same times every day. For naps, I tried to put her down awake, but drowsy, and I'd let her fuss a bit, but not cry. At bedtime, I continued to nurse her to sleep as I'd always done. For two months, we continued to struggle. Suddenly, shortly after she turned 6 months, her sleep changed drastically, and she was only waking once per night again. I don't know if what I did had any effect, or if her development had just settled down.

On the other hand, my 22-month-old has slept 8 hours straight exactly once in her life. I don't let her cry it out (b/c I don't believe in it), but we've tried lots of other things, and nothing seems to make much difference.

All children are different, and some will sleep through the night much sooner than others. If you can hang in there just a couple more months and start teaching your daughter to get her pacifier back by herself, she may be able to find it without you and start sleeping longer stretches again.

If nothing else, remember that this, too, shall pass. Several years from now, you'll barely remember the sleepless nights, and it will all have been worth it.

Answer 2

We didn't do the Ferber method until our son was about 9 months old. Your baby isn't going to go to sleep at that age unless she is ready to. Very few babies actually sleep through the night at 4 months old. You can actually cause mental distress to a child by letting them cry for so long at that age b/c they feel like no one cares. There have been scientific studies done on the issue before. You should wait at least another two or three months then try again until then if having you MIL rocking your little one to sleep helps then let her do so.

Answer 3

Four months old is still pretty young to be trying to get a baby to sleep through the night. Most people who use the Ferber/cry-it-out method don't start it until six months.

I also don't know why you're opposed to your MIL rocking the baby to sleep. You're not going to spoil a four month old by rocking her to sleep. She may simply be too young to comfort herself and fall asleep alone. If you're having a lot of trouble getting her to sleep through the night and fall asleep alone, you should wait until she's older and try again.

Answer 4

I rock my 7 month old gently when he goes to sleep.... at the most 20 min and he's out. Where as if i would let him cry, he'd probably cry for about 2 hours, during those 2 hours, your stressed, afaid if he'll choke, plus its not pleasent... a litle rocking never hurt anyone, sometimes you just need a hand to fall asleep.

Answer 5

I tried the Ferber method and it didn't work for me. My baby who was 9 months at the time got so out of sorts crying in his crib that he actually flipped himself out and onto the floor. From the other room I heard the thump. I rushed in and found him crawling to the door to try and find me. I was so upset by this! I swept him up and took him to my room for hugs and kisses. I didn't try Ferber again. I have three kids all boys and all of them stayed in my room with me as babies and as toddlers. When they were ready they moved to their own room. I see no harm in having the baby in the room with you. Why the big rush to get her out? This is a wonderful time. It is a precious thing to fall asleep with your baby there next to you.

Answer 6

I have never used the Ferber method & I don't know what it is
but I have 3 boys the way I got them to stay in their beds was
by puting something that have my smell on the bed with sometime it can be as small as hankershipt next to their pellows

Answer 7

I don't agree with it I think a baby needs to know his/her mommy will be there for her /him all the time even at night