what do you do when you find out that your nearly 16 year old daughter has had sex?

Answer 1

talk to her, don't yell and remind her that you were sixteen and curious before. Take her to be put on birth control and be there for her when she needs you. Keep the communication door wide open.

Negative response will never have a postive outcome and even if you don't like what she's doing, she's gonna do it regardless. It's your job as her mother to prepare her for life and make sure she is being safe by educating her and not leaving it up to the school.

if your one of those people who like to scare their children, take her to planned parenthood for her exam and she can observe other children her age there for various reasons. This may open her eyes to some of the consequences and risks of having sex.

good luck :)

Answer 2

I'd probably pass out...No but seriously I would make her go at least on birth control. Find out if there is any place where you live that has what they call "A Baby Think It Over" it's a computerized doll which you have to feed,burp,make sure you don't bend it's neck,rock it and get it to go to sleep it's very realistic I had to do it back in my senior year of high school for my child development class. There is a timer on it so it tells how long it took you to respond to it the baby and if you neglected it at all. The very ironic part for me was I took it home over Thanksgiving weekend of 01' I was 18 then. I gave birth to my son on Thanksgiving Day 03' I was almost 21 by that point in time. I'm still with his daddy were happily married and expecting baby #2 now who's due day is a week after thanksgiving this year. Oh yeah I also didn't have sex though until I was little over 19 that doll kind creeped me out a little lol.

Besides the STD statics you could also inform her most girls get pregnant with in the first 6 months to year after they start to have sex.

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you.....

Be aware that It could have been great for her but it could also have been a poor experience too. You won't know which.

Keep the communication doors way open and it will be hard. Sex is one thing you don't want to discuss with your mom. Don't be too heavy and give her a cuddle she is still your baby girl.

It's definately time for a chat about contraception and sexually trasmitted diseases such as chlamydia that can be completely symptomless. Not as scare tactics but as stuff she really needs to know.

But I would also talk about feelings too. How does she feel? Has her relationship changed as a result? Can she handle emotionally a sexual relationship or does she wish it hadn't happened. Support her and be there for her.

How are you two going to move forward?She should know that at 15 it is still illegal and many people will disapprove of what she is doing.

Answer 4

At the moment their nothing you can do
but be a parent take her to a doc to have her check up for STD including HIV (for some reason we always skip that one) and make sure she get put on the pill after you take her to visit an AID
hospice (give a wake up call) that will stop 2 things unprotected sex and any idea she might have of ever trying drug
if you 're a lucky person the hospice might turn her off sex for a long time
also remember CONDOM CONDOM
explain to her to provide her own because soem guys actually make hold on the condoms sick but true
again double protection(pills &condom) he don't want to wear on no sex
I know it is a lot to trough at a child, but in today's world
it is not enough

Answer 5

SIt down and talk with her seriously, Birth control is one thing, but STDs are another.

Ask her what she will do if she becomes pregnant. Map out the cost of raising a kid and then point out how a baby will impact her. Financially, socially, educationally.

I hate to say this, the people next door to me, nice people, early 50's daughter moved out at 18 moved back in a few years later, is pregnant. They take care of her baby, she goes to school. Gets a degree in social work, get pregnant again. No idea who the father is. I have to wonder about the whole family. They enabled her.

End of horror story.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Please don't yell or anything!
Talk to her, advise her on everything she should know about sexual matters, from birth control and STD's/Aids to personal hygiene and proper conduct with the other sex.
But before all, make her confide in you; this way you could help her every time she encounters problems and of course ..watch her.
My daughter is 14 and a half and has started talking about having sex, so I consulted her doctor and he told me that it is something very natural; her hormones are growing, so is growing her sex drive, that's why she should know everything about sex as well as she should do it only if she wants and with the ones she chooses.

I wish you and your daughter good luck!

Answer 7

If you knew me you'd be surprised at my answer on this one (because everyone who knows me tends to think I'm pretty involved with my kids, a big one for communicating, etc.)

Other than talking to her about how getting pregnant would ruin her future, offering to get her pills, and providing her with information about how she should at least use two different types of barrier contraceptive and never have sex at certain times of the month no matter what; that's about all you can say or do.

It is - whether we parents like it or not or approve or not - her very personal business, and trying to get too involved in talking about it and making it your business could be seen as particularly invasive of you. This is not the time you want her to turn away from you. You want her to be comfortable coming to you with questions and knowing you won't "go on and on about it". A respectful discussion about preventing pregnancy and disease is a different thing.\

I used to tell my daughter that if she had a baby I'd say, "Thank you for the baby because if you have a baby you won't be able to take care of it, so I'll end up taking care of it; and it will be my baby." We would laugh about that, but she knew that what I said was true as far as her not being able to keep up with school and college and take proper care of a baby.

At this point, the ship has sailed. There's nothing you can do but respect her privacy and offer her some black-and-white, non-judgmental information about the important stuff - preventing pregnancy and disease.

If she breaks up with this boyfriend (which she probably will) you could then use that opportunity to talk about how maybe with the next boyfriend she may want to do things differently. With the benefit of experience, what you say may ring a little truer to her. Then again, maybe it won't.

Still, though, don't just adopt a "they're going to do it anyway" approach and condone it. Calmy let her know you wish she had waited, and that it isn't going to take place under your roof because you don't believe parents should facilitate this type of thing for people as young as she is and you think sexual matters should be kept private between parents and their kids.

Answer 8

As much as people say that as long as you teach them right they wont do wrong.. its really a bunch of crap.
No matter HOW MUCH RIGHT you teach your child, whether you know of it or not, they often STILL do wrong. Just because you dont know about it, doesnt mean they havent, arent or will not do it.

My advice (I have 4 children, two boys who are 14 and 16, the girls are 5 and 3.), is that you need to stress to her the IMPORTANCE of WAITING, until she is more emotionally and mentally mature. Her body may be ready but her emotions and her mind isnt.
Stress to her the dangers of sex. Diesease, pregnancy, promiscuity, reputation.
Dont preach, TALK.
Inform her of ways to keep herself sexually safe. Talk about birth control, condoms, and yes the "pull out method" that doesnt work.
Dont be her enemy, but dont be her friend either.. you have to be her parent.
Dont make your home a SEX SAFE home, as in dont make it okay to have sex in your home. Dont condone it and dont make it easy for her to have sex in your home.
Take her to the OBGYN for a check up, if she doesnt, tell the Dr that she is sexually active, have him/her do a STD test and a pregnancy test. You can never be too sure.
Explain to her that this isnt to punish her but to help her to see that her actions have consequences and whether she wants to see that or not they are still there all the same.

Answer 9

I think it best to talk to her about taking precautions. Make sure that you also tell her gently where you stand in the matter. No matter how much us parents are against them having sex so young, there is hardly anything we can do about it ,unless we strap them to us. If they choose to have sex they will find means and ways to do it. The most reasonable advise I can share with you is just telling her the consequences of having unprotected sex. When you really think about it , it is just a hymen. nothing more. It will not make her any less a person.Just advise her that if she does,(hopefully not if that is your stand ), then just ask her to be more responsible.Gone are the days that we save ourselves for our husbands or is it?????

Answer 10

You need to talk to her, I never told my mom anything sex related because she would tell me how much it would screw up my life if I had sex, and that if I ever did have sex and she found out about it, that she would kick me out of her house...although there were times she told me I could trust her and she did have "the talk" with me, I still felt scared to tell her what was going on with my relantionship, but I would have liked talking to her before I did anything with my boyfriend, he was way too advance for me and I was a virgin, it would have been nice if I could have told her how I felt about this, but I couldn't, not saying that it's her fault, but I am still with that same guy and got pregnant at 18...I guess it's not that bad but still, that relantionship and trust would have helped out a lot, specially since I did wait for so long.