Okay, I have this issue with a guy who I met on a internet dating site a couple of days ago. We have been talking and we havea lot in common. You see, he wants to go on a first date. However, he wants to take me for a walk and then give me a massage at his place. I said yes but, I told him I do not do one night stands and I hope he respects that. He told me he does not want to make me uncomfortable in any way. Is this a sign he wants a one night stand anyways? Do I have a right to feel uncomfortable? Is this really a date?
2006-09-10 19:04:29 · 19 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would suggest you say to him that you generally only go to dinner on first date and let's see how it goes first and we'll see about the massage,,,go to dinner, then take a walk and only then see if you want this massage or not..
Bringing up a massage is a sure sign he is probably hoping to turn things to sex.
If he is too cheap to spring for dinner or some type of real date, don't go. If he likes you, he will change his approach and pursue you in a different way.
If he doesn't good riddance. Most men on these and chat lines are just looking for sex..on chatlines I'd estimate 90-95% are looking for easy sex and many never call you back after they get it.
Tell him the thought of a massage so early does make you uncomfortable and can we put that on hold for now. If he agrees, give him a try if your instincts say yes.
Now some meeting guidrelines...
But be sure to meet in a public place or this is what I did if my instincts weren't scared. I had him pick me up at my house (probably not the best idea but I didn't want him to leave when he pulled up at the restaurant or whereever after I got dressed up and drove there without getting my dinner or night on the town.if he didn't instantly like my looks or something (being honest).
I told him in advance, I would need to see his driver's licence. When he got there (best if someone is there with you). I put his driver's license info in my voice mail and said I always leave this for my son (or whoever) so they where I am if I do not call them back or show up.
I told them I woulderase it when I returned from the date. I also entered his phone number.
Tell him you are leaving the message for your brother or whoever as to who you are with...don't say it's your own voice mail, I did because he knew my older son lived there and would check it.
I always told my son if I didn't come home to check the voice mail and pursue the info or check next day or something
. When someone knows that another person has their true ID information, they are extremely unlikely to harm you.
If they refuse to show you the license, do not go--no, if, ands, or buts..don't go
..but probably a public place is better and save this suggestion for a 2nd date if you wish.
Only one man had a problem with it out of many people I met. I had forgotten to mention this was my policy and when I asked for it when he arrived, he said he left it in the car and peeled off. He later called to say he thought I was going to steal his SS# lol
2006-09-10 19:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel uncomfortable after all you've never met this person. I had a similar experience a couple weeks ago. Chances are it's a one night stand. If you like him go on the date just make sure you take care of yourself.
2006-09-10 19:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by wildflower0306 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ON the 1st. date shouldn't be walking it should be a candle lite denner then a movie, then to a nice place to talk like a bar, to where there is music that both of you can do, if he can & will do all of ' em then let him know thats what kind of dates you Njoy doing so E- date will be like that, then go for those walks, but wear jeans dont wear a shrit that shows alot, then if you need a back rub, fine just as long you dont need to take off ur shrit & dont have to lay on a bed, not on his lap either, go slow @ 1st. E- thing will work out the way you wanted it to and will be the best of friends, GOOD LUCK..
2006-09-10 19:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by mike_m50501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows. Some people just fool around without wanting to date. Also, there's people that date and get to know each other before doing anything. If I were you, I'd try to find someone a bit more decent. You don't know what else she has done. You have to be careful nowadays with so many diseases going around.
2016-03-27 06:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by Maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK he wants to take you for a walk and give you massage?That is not a date! He could be a serial killer and you stand a good chance of getting raped.Most women who do not want to have sex would not let a man give them a massage.Its not a date .Its a ploy.A date is where a guy takes you to dinner.Not where you just go over and go for a walk.Thats hanging out.So either he is weird or he is cheap either way itsnot what you want.stand him up! he deserves it for being a Jerk.Thats what he is.
2006-09-10 19:16:36 · answer #5 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, yes you have the right to feel uncomfortable, and if you don't feel right, then turn down the massage. Nothing wrong with that. He might be serious, and will not try to push you into anything that. You might suggest doing something else instead of going to his place, if he is serious he won't have a problem with that...
2006-09-10 19:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the walk sounds like a good idea, you know
but the massage sounds a little hasty
and yes you do have the right to feel uncomfortable
if it feels uncomfortable, dont do it
if he really likes you he will understand
if he gets upset and demanding
he just want to jump ur bones...
hope this helps
2006-09-10 19:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by tim s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not a date. This is like a rape waiting to happen. You met him online and he wants to take you to his place on the first date? He should be wanting to take you out to dinner or the movies. Not back to his place. And for a massage? That's like what guys do to get in your pants. Don't do it...
2006-09-10 19:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by laker_girl85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be your intusion is right. Don't trust people specially boys so easily may be his intentions are not good . yes friendship is good but don't step forward beyond this because he is going too fast. I think until a permanent committment U should not go further in this matter.may be he is a trustable guy but u can't trust him so easily & u definitely have the right to feel uncomfortable.As a woman I think everyone should have controlling capacity. Love is a precious gift of God it should be used for only that person who deserve this & specially made for you. Now u have to differentiate between "may be" & "May not be" before unfold your precious gift of 'Love'.Wait for the right time.
2006-09-10 19:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by camilia_13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what kind of a woman accepts invitation for massage at his place? get real woman - if u re half naked getting massage at his place it will end up with sex whatever u may blabber before it. if u claim not to do one night stands do not go to men's apartments for massages. decent women accept invitation to a man's apartments only after several dates and when they re sure they will be in long times relationships. and only a cheap guy who wants only sex can invite a woman to his place. normal men invite women to restaurants on the first date
2006-09-10 19:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋