How about a golf joke?

Question

A young fellow from a poor family would often take a bus to the nearest golf course and after the course was closed, would walk through all the roughs, sand traps, and water traps to find as many lost golf balls as he could, then sell them at his yard sale to raise money for his family. One day, both of his front pockets were jammed with golf balls from his trip to the golf course as he rode the bus home. He sat in the front seat,and seated in the front seat across from him, sat a woman with two bags of groceries in her arms. She kept staring at the large bulges in his front pockets, which made him increasingly uncomfortable. Finally , their eyes met, and he smiled at her as he pointed to the bulges in his pants, and said, "golf balls." She returned his smile and nodded, then asked him, " Is that anything like tennis elbow?"

feel free to add your own joke to your response.

Answer 1

The Caddy

After her game of golf, a lady player offered her caddy a ride
into town. The caddy thankfully accepted, and when they arrived at her house he carried her clubs inside. The lady invited him to stay for lunch and served him a wonderful meal.

She then invited him into the bedroom. He was puzzled, but went
along out of curiosity. She asked if he wanted to go to bed with her, so he did that, too. Later he realized it was time to get back to the course and he prepared to leave. The housewife insisted on giving him a dollar before he could go.

Well, it was too much for the poor man, and he asked her "Lady,
what is going on? First you feed me a delicious meal, and as if that isn't enough, you invite me to make love to you and we have a terrific time together. Now you want to pay me?! What IS this, anyway?"

So she explained proudly, "We! ll, you know Christmas is coming, and I told my husband I wanted to do something nice for my caddy who is so faithful and helped me so much this year. My husband said, 'Screw the caddy! Give him a dollar!'

... the lunch was my idea!"

Answer 2

The easiest way to learn golf like a pro is by following "The Simple Golf Swing" program. It's primarily a 31 page eBook that teaches golfers how to make solid contact with the ball, how to avoid hitting fat, how to avoid slicing, how get more power, accuracy, and consistency in your swing. Consistency being the number 1 golf skill.

You not only get the eBook though, you also receive a ton of extra material including video, lessons on putting, driving, chipping, sand play etc. Here is their official site: http://www.golfswingguru.net

Answer 3

Lessons



A foursome is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it and hacks it another 10 feet. She looks up at the men, who are watching, and says apologetically: "I guess all those f@#king lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "Now, you see, that's your problem. You should have taken golf lessons instead."

Answer 4

A solo golfer joins another early one morning. They both hit the par 3 green with their tee shot and start heading up towards the flag. A little dog follows them all the way.

"Is that your dog?" the solo golfer asks.

"Yep, I know the owners, they don't mind as long as it's early."

They get to the green and the dog's owner drains a nice 30 footer for birdie. The dog stands on it's hind legs and barks twice.

"That's impressive! What does he do when you miss?"

"Somersaults." the owner calmly replied.

"Somersaults?? Thats incredible! How many can he do??"

"Depends how hard I kick him."

Answer 5

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Answer 6

Lmaonade

Answer 7

Good One

Answer 8

Ha! Ha!