what do you think of this?

Question

She is 25 years of age but her world really only started 10 years ago,
when she met him.
Now she smiles quietly to herself in line at the grocery store
as she slides her money from her purse.
A man, her world, wraps his arm around her.
He rubs her stomach and whispers in her ear sweet words of love.
She never cries from sadness,
what tears she sheds touch her cheek in moments of happiness.
They walk back, through the streets of San Francisco, to their modest home,
her heart in his hand.
A man who is dear to her carries her inside and they lay together for a bit.
In this time in her life, in this time of change,
when uncertainty would normally trail through a young woman's heart.
She felt secure.
Within her were feelings of love and hope.
Hope is security and love is the foundation.
She hardly ever thinks about the past.
She is focused on the future with the love of her life.

my boyfriend and i should probably rewrite that to make it clear that the reason he rubs her stomach is because she's pregnant.

Answer 1

WOW, that was AMAZING!
r u writin abook?
that was totally beautiful!

Answer 2

Do you mean you want us to critique it? Is it your work? Well, it's really not the kind of stuff I read. Sounds more like a romance novel. But, let me say the man (her world) should be sliding the money out of his pocket instead of her sliding it out ot her purse. And some people might cringe at the PDA going on in the grocery store line. But, that's just me and I'm not a literary critic. So, keep going. Actually, I enjoyed it. Nice.

Answer 3

Thats as likely to happen as George Bush Jr. saying "I am a complete idiot and my dads running the show!"....the dudes got a game ergo his interest is her body and that alone and thus is interested in sex after he gets it he hits the road again.