I lost my baby girl and i can't let my pain go. I can't stop blaming myself. It hurts so bad I held her in my arms and I can't stop thinking of her
2006-09-10 17:47:36 · 9 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the loss of a child is also something that I have endured on Aug 2, 2006. Its one of the hardest thing to deal with. Needless to say I can only share my experience of loss, we both are experiencing our own. Things that have helped me .. I seek support from my friends and family. They are understanding that I have really bad days and some good. Cry, don't hold it in. When you need to talk about it, do. If you are able to see if there is a local support group to help. I have found a yahoo group that I am able to talk to and in addition there are some myspace groups to. Its been a little over a month for me, the pain is still very harsh reality that Zachary isn't home. I am making steps to become stronger but there isn't a moment that Zachary isn't in my heart. They say as time goes by you will get better. Something that I am starting today and having a little anxiety over is starting counseling. My husband and I are going together. If you need to talk, feel free to contact me - my contact info. is in my info.
I am also a firm believer that even with Zachary is gone .. he is still with me, in my heart. I still catch myself talking to him, as well daily I do take the time to send him my love. To express to him, that I really do hope he can feel the love we share for him, how deeply we miss him. I also really need to believe that one day we will be together. Someone sent this to me .. It was a dream that afterwards "One night, many years after my last miscarriage, I had a dream, and all these children I had never seen before came up to me. They were the children I had lost."
I wanted to add ... if you anything like me, its hard to form words @ times .. unable to verbally expressed. I have found that it helps a lot to write it out, blog it as well. You will also find sadly that some people act like you don't exist. Just know that they are not comfortable in what to say. I gave this list to friends on my 360/myspace. Its amazing how many people don't know what to do in your time of grief. I just wanted to share that with you because it cause a lot of pain on my side when I was experiencing that.
Things you can do to show support:
q Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss.
q Do send her a card or flowers to show you care
q Do let her talk as much as she needs to or wants to.
q Do give her a hug to let her know you care.
q Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other things that she may not feel up to doing.
q Do acknowledge her baby.
q It is okay to say I dont know what to say or I dont know how to help.
q Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go away in a couple days.
q Give her extra attention. She needs to feel like other people care about what she is going through.
q Do ask if she wants to talk about it.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-10 17:54:02 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Therapy would a good thing for you. Lots of hospitals have groups that meet to help people who have lost little ones. Check your local listings, contact the hospital, or contact your church. Most of these groups meet at convenient times and don't cost a thing.
You need to grieve and the pain can be so great that you seem to be going in a circle...can't stop thinking of her and can't move forward. Please consider getting some help and talking to get this out. You're doing the right thing by asking for help on this forum but you need to go further. You need to say it outloud to people who really know what you're talking about, who have been through what you're going through. You don't say how your little angel died, only that you blame yourself. That's a natural stage of grief, as are denial, anger, and eventual acceptance. You are completely normal and there is help for you.
God bless you and keep you safe. Take care. I'll be praying for you.
2006-09-10 17:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by Hello Dolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago did you lose her? I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that it may take awhile. Cry, scream, write down your thoughts, deal with the grief...do not try to hide from it. This is the worse thing that can happen to a parent so do not try to lessen it for others. Do not blame yourself, it does no good and your sweet angel would not want that. I have had four miscarriages but no losses that were full term or where I knew for certain it was a girl. Please know that the sun will come out and you will be able to breath...until then, cling to your family and friends, tell them what you need...do you need to talk? Cry? Scream? Just hold you? tell them...let them travel this road of grief with you. Please know that I am praying for you.
2006-09-10 17:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Emme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw honey, I know it doesn't help but I feel your pain. I really do. I lost my son 6 years ago. Talking to others who have also experienced the loss of a child can help. I belong to a Yahoo group just for this. Please visit the site.
There is also a group called Compassionate Friends which has chapters all over the US. They have people you can talk to face to face depending on where you live.
2006-09-10 17:57:55 · answer #4 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry for your lost. i never lost a child before. but i can only tell u stand tall and be Strong, take each day as it comes. it will take a sometime for the pain away. crying is good, talking about it is also good. go to counselor. good luck.
2006-09-10 19:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss of your baby girl. I have had three miscarriages... and I blame myself for all of them... I think that alot of the people that answered are right... let it out... cry, let your feelings out... I am so so sorry.... She will always be with you in spirit. Right with you... always.. your baby angel... God Bless You... With love, hugs and kisses...
2006-09-10 18:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my condolences to you for your loss. i feel your pain. i lost a baby also. i can only tell you that time does heal. i know that's an old cliche, but it is true. God be with you.
2006-09-10 17:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by willis_is_40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy, and a supporting boyfriend/fiance/husband
2006-09-10 17:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by gesswh0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do some diversional activities.... for example going out with friends, watch a movie... or go shopping.....
2006-09-10 17:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by angelleah12 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋