Am I wrong?

Question

My fiance has a friend named mike, he's not a close friend,and before recently,they didn't speak for a year.A coupple weeks ago,My fiance all of a sudden started hanging out with him again.It has been brought to my attention that mike lives with my fiance's ex girlfriend. Now,my fiance has tried cheating on me in the past(with one of my good friends) and I have caught him in lies. So am I wrong in asking him not to go to mikes house?

Answer 1

this is hard...

the way I see it, you do not trust him... and the reason you do not want him around his ex if because you believe he would probably cheat.
here is the thing, you can not keep him on a leash for the rest of his life. if a dog loves you he will probably aalways come home, if he doesent he will **** the neigbors cat.. BUT... in the end you will know. do you get what i am saying,,,, let him go if he want to cheat let him cheat, it is HIS problem not yours, i would hate to be about to marry someone, and have to be forced to "control " them so THEY do not crew up.

Answer 2

Cmon, are you serious. You already know the answer to your own questions. Why do you seek public support when your heart already knows what he is up to?

But I'll entertain your question. It is painfully obvious that the only reason that he is hanging out with Mike and possibly very frequently, is because he just found out that his ex gf lives with Mike, and so the opportunity for him to cheat on you is not only there, but dangerously likely.

Answer 3

I think you should go with your gut in this situation. I know it might sound controlling but still it has to do with your relationship so I think that that is nothing wrong with you asking him to stop seeing Mike. Where there was fire there are ashes so your disturbance is normal. Sit down and bring this to his attention it is better to confront than to sneak around bc that will just drive you crazy. If he can not decide over his friend and you then that is something you need to think about.

Answer 4

I dont think that you two should even be thinking bout getting married esp if there is trust issues. I would work on communication here. talk to him about your concerns and maybe start to go to marrage counseling before u get married. That way you might have a good chance to make a rational decision on getting married or just parting ways. Good luck!

Answer 5

It is wrong that you are willing to want to be with a cheating guy. Why do you really want to be with someone that lies and cheats? You must know that you deserve a better man than this and who's to say he won't become worse after you're married.

Answer 6

Do you think your fiance is cheating on you with Mike?

Answer 7

not at all in fact you shouldnt have even still been with him knowing that he has tried cheating on you before. if he has tried it before he is obviously not completely in love with you and therefor its not meant to be anyway. my boyfriend doesnt even think of looking at other girls in a way other than just friends because he knows that im the one he wants for life. you need to be with that kind of person give this guy the flick!

Answer 8

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Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

Answer 9

You should not forbid him from going over to Mike's house because guys want nothing more then being told what to do. However, you have every right to talk to him about it. This is a very tricky situation because if you have caught him in lies before then it will be very hard for you to believe what he is saying. Also, if he has tried to cheat on you in the past there is a chance that he will try again. (I'm not really sure what you mean by "tried". Did he admit to you that he had wanted to or could you just tell by the way that he was acting? It is not unusual to get back in touch with an old friend after a period of no contact but something is very suspect if his friend is dating one of his ex-girlfriends. There is a code among guys (and girls) that you do not date one of your friend's ex boy/girlfriends. Maybe that is why they didn't talk for a year, or maybe they didn't talk for a year and the friend thought they weren't friends anymore and could date the ex girlfriend. If your fiance is hanging out there a lot, he might be interested about his friend's relationship or maybe he is jealous or maybe he is totally cool with it and is just reconnecting with old friends. Either way, your reservations are completely just and you should ask to go over there with him. If he says no then you might have a problem. You can ask him why and he might say he feels uncomfortable with you being around an ex of his but then you can say that you feel uncomfortable with him hanging out with her. He might use excuses and say that you shouldn't be worried because they are in a relationship. But this man is your FIANCE and you are about to make a commitment in front of God that you are going to take care of eachother, love eachother for better or worse until death do you part. If you are having any doubts about this man now, you should really start wondering what it would be like if you had these same problems after you are married. All of this might be in your head, girls (so my guy friend's have said) always tend to over analyze the situation but we are who we are and our men should never make us feel anything less than perfect. I just broke up with my boyfriend and afterwards I found out that he had been sleeping with one of our friends (not mine but ours) right before and after we broke up. We broke up obviously because we were having problems but it happened because I basically talked him into. The reason that I talked him into it is the two weeks up to our break-up he was staying out every night and wasn't coming home until morning (we live together.) He told me the places he was crashing and I believed him and never thought there was another girl but I was very concerned with the abnormal activity he was showing. We have both stayed out from time to time without eachother but we always made it a point to end up in our own bed. It didn't matter if we took a cab at 6 in the morning to come to eachother as long as we didn't crash somewhere else. When he started doing it, it upset me, I confronted him but I usually got upset and angry and it never ended well. But I saw that he was acting different and everything I dreading being true became true. He was sleeping with someone else. I know this is not what you want to here but I am just giving you my side of the story because you should never have doubt. And because woman have a better intuition and know when something is wrong. And don't confuse doubt with insecurity or out of control jealousy. It's just the general feeling that you know your man and you should and he should always make you feel good and if not, then yes, you should say something. Just DON'T get upset or angry because it never helps matters. Just tell him how he is making you feel and if he gets defensive then ask him why he is acting that way. And if you still don't get the asnwer or actions that you want then give him some of his own medicine. When he is going over to Mike's then go over to your guy friend's house or even get back in touch with one of your ex boyfriend's. I know it sucks to play games but I never did and I got completely screwed so I feel like I should have. Good luck, I don't know if this answer made any sense or helped at all but I feel your pain and I hope it gets better. Last thing I have to say is, do you really want the man you are going to marry to make you feel this way? Marriage is based on trust, understanding and communication and if you don't have that now, a piece of paper is not going to magically create that.

Answer 10

nope. you have good reason for wondering. If you ask him he will say NO im not going to do that again but at least he will know if u are on to him and maybe wont think about taking a chance any more.