my boyfriend/fiancee have been together since new years, and my mom HATES him. he is a sweet wonderful guy, but is 8 years older than me. while age isnt an issue, i think thats what set her off from the beginning. We've done everything we could think of to get her to open up to him, he even cooked us all dinner one time and yet she refuses to even be open to the possibility of liking him. I really love this man, and plan on marrying him, and i don't want there to be a strained relationship between them, because that equals strained relationship between my mom and myself.
talking to her doesnt help, shes too stubborn! what to do? should i choose family or my fiancee? any generel help will do!!!
2006-09-10 17:12:38 · 11 answers · asked by wk0740 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think if i was your mom........ i wouldn't know him very well and then he is 8 years older than you which depending on how old you are most parents might not like that very much and now you are engaged and you've only been together since new years....that was only 9 months ago......... maybe she thinks you guys are leaping into things to fast or wants you to experience your own life before you settle down.....
you really shouldn't have to choose between your family and your fiancee.......
but i do think that you and this guy should try pre-marital counseling before you get married..... maybe it will help your mom feel a little better
2006-09-10 17:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by suesue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, 8 years is no big deal...unless you're 22 or younger, then it is. So if that's the case, you mom has reason to be leery of him.
If this is not the case, then you're just going to have to lay it out to her, that this isn't going away, and you hate that there's a strain, but you will go through with the marriage, and she needs to start making an effort for your sake.
2006-09-10 17:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I simple talk with your mother, just you and her alone. Ask her to explain why she feels this way. Remember to just listen to her and not interupt her when she's talking, just say nothing.
After she is finished talking. Ask her to then listen to you.
Then you can tell her how you truly feel. Ask her if she can imagine you moving some where after being married and excluding her from the relationship and your potential children, which you have the power to do. Ask her if she is ready to change or loose you.
2006-09-10 17:19:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mothers can be so harsh i was in the same situation at one point in time, you cant make her like him but you have to live your life. you say that you want to marry him and i think the Bible says something to the effect of forsake all others including your Mom!!but there has to be a median It hurts because you want them to get along so ask her why she doesn't like him and get down to the bottom of it but tying all loose ends with you mother is as equally important as your relationship because i didn't get the chance...My mother passed without us really get down to the bottom of it.
2006-09-10 17:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by LILMAMA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TRIED TO GET YOUR MOTHER TO GET TO
KNOW YOUR FIANCEE, BUT UNLESS THERE IS A REASON
THAT SHE HAS A PROBLEM WIITH HIM. IT REALLY NOT'
YOUR CONCERN, IF YOU LOVE THIS MAN, AND HE
TREAT YOU RIGHT, THEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS TELL
YOUR MOTHER, YOU LOVE HER BUT YOU MARRIAGE
THE MAN REGARDLESS OF WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY
HOPEFULLY SHE WILL COME AROUND.
2006-09-10 17:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get married and your mom will come around sooner or later if not she will be the one that is missing out on your life.
2006-09-10 17:19:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it relatively is nice to hate her, yet what stands out as the factor? as long as your fiance often visits her, she would have the ability to proceed to mop the floor with him. seems to me that he needs to place her far faraway from him if he is going to have a useful existence.
2016-09-30 13:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by huenke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has no good reason to hate him, just live your life, do what you want to do.
2006-09-10 17:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by nobodysfool 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that its ure life and that if you love this guy she should be understadin, and that sorry, but you didnt mean any disrespect. if that doesn't work tell her to *** off.
2006-09-10 17:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by ¿¡¿¡Que!?!? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure your mother will not like any guy you bring home. relax
2006-09-10 17:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋