Actual Bumper Stickers
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Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted: Telepathy ... you know where to apply.
Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
Hang up and drive.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Born again pagan.
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Cats... the other white meat.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
2006-09-10 16:49:11 · 18 answers · asked by Krystal T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
i would like this
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing
but i don't have a car
^_^ so i just post it wherever it may fit
thanks a lot. good job there
2006-09-10 17:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by ettezzil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once saw a bumper sticker on a car in a parking lot that said:
PMS = PUNISH MEN SEVERELY
I looked around and nobody was watching, so I took out my pocketknife and modified it by removing the second 'N', so that it said:
PMS = PUNISH ME SEVERELY
I only hope she was at some big feminist rally when someone pointed it out to her. My favorite UNMODIFIED bumper sticker was on a car with California plates and it said:
Honk if you've been married to Elizabeth Taylor!
2006-09-10 18:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are cute. Here's a few more:
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
If you honk at me, I will flick a booger on your windsheild.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
If you can read this, I'm slamming on my brakes.
CAUTION! This car stops for all hookers.
2006-09-10 19:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by momoftwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some of these i have seen before and one of them achually is when i die i want to die like my grandfather did in his sleep not like allof his screaming passengers. o well have a good day.
2006-09-10 17:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by lexie_09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Well, I enjoyed them. LOL.
Thanks for the laughs.
Have a great new week, and God Bless!
2006-09-11 09:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll take this one--- God must love stupid people, he made so many.
2006-09-13 06:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOR THE TEXANS.
Let's get Kinky in Austin!
2006-09-13 06:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooops you missed one... "Crime doesnt pay but prostitution does."
2006-09-13 06:35:29 · answer #8 · answered by Insomnia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like it
2006-09-10 17:01:52 · answer #9 · answered by mary lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was this all about? Oh well
2006-09-10 17:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by Reflection 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋