The quote before my question came from an advice column on etiquette that I read years ago. I understand it to be poor etiquette to have "no gifts" appear anywhere on the invitation as it is presumptuous. We really just want folks to come and have a nice time... it's my second wedding, and many gave gifts at my first wedding.
2006-09-10 16:16:38 · 12 answers · asked by Mike S 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Or you could rephrase to say...."We request your presence as your gift to us."
Even when couples ask that no gifts to be given people will still give a gift. You can suggest that the gift be a donation to a charity in honor of Mr and Mrs. So and So. Or you could tell them to bring canned goods to take to the local food bank or bring a toy so it can be donated for Toys for Tots.
List of a few charity ideas...
Your local humane society/animal shelter
Local Bloodbank
Local Salvation Army
Local Red Cross
Local church
Local Library
2006-09-10 16:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by deltazeta_mary 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is obligating you to purchase a gift from the registry. The registry is merely a suggestion (although it's really ballsy of the couple to only include expensive gifts ... are you sure they don't have a second, more reasonably price registry at another store?). If you want to attend the shower, then purchase a gift in your desired price range. Look around in the store where she registered, or go to a department store and find something in your price range. "Generic" gifts include neutral towels, bedsheets, cleaning supplies, basic cooking utensils, dish towels. Is there a household item that you personally love? ("I know you didn't register for this, but I have one and I use it every day so I thought you might like it in your own home.") Or give her a gift card to the registry store in your desired price range, or a gift card to a local restaurant or to a store where you know she shops (Macy's, Target, supermarket, etc.). Or you could put together a nice basket with things she likes - wine or coffee or nice chocolates. If you want to attend the wedding, then give a gift or a check in your price range. You're not obligated to "cover your plate" or give a specific amount, even if it's a super-fancy wedding. If you would rather not attend either event, check off No on the RSVP card and include a note wishing them well. You don't need to feel guilty. An invitation is not a subpoena, and nobody is holding a gun to your head to purchase a specific gift or even to attend. Do what you wish and do it with class. If this person is any kind of friend, she will be grateful for your presence, and for any gift you choose to give her. If she expects something more from you, then she's not a real friend and you shouldn't feel bad about "disappointing" her. If she acted snotty at the shower over not receiving a $350+ gift, then I'd politely decline her wedding and not talk to her anymore.
2016-03-27 06:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people, like myself, love to give gifts. I wouldn't care if you put no gifts on the card, I'd still bring one.
Its a new life and a new beginning, and how does your bride/groom feel about it? Is it their first wedding?
If you guys don't really want/need anything, have your family spread the word that you would like donations to your favorite charity, or something like gift cards to movies or dining out. If worse comes to worse, take the gifts back and buy something you want/need, there's always something.
2006-09-10 16:37:34 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could also have your guests who may still want to give you something donate money to your favorite charity and list what that is on a small card. If you don't have a favorite charity, Habitat For Humanity is always a great one.
2006-09-10 16:23:00 · answer #4 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People ask people to donate to Charities if they want to. They also ask people to give money to them to give to charities or ask just for money to pay for the Honey Moon or wedding. You can write and say we are combining households so no gift is necessary as we have plenty but if you feel a need to give us a gift please donate to these charities we support.
2006-09-10 16:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by Faerieeeiren 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats sweet of you..i thoght and thought and couldnt figure out a way to say it other than way you said.
2006-09-10 16:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's sweet and definitely not presumptuous.
2006-09-10 16:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That actually sounds really nice!
2006-09-10 16:18:58 · answer #8 · answered by shannon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds good to me
2006-09-10 16:18:29 · answer #9 · answered by Eeyore 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it is charming and very well said... good going...
2006-09-10 16:19:52 · answer #10 · answered by walterknowsall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋