My girlfriend calls me sometimes and just asks these relatively unimportant questions like "how was your day?" "how are you?" and "what are you up to?". This is just a waste of my time. Also, I feel that when I need to talk to her I will call her, but for her to call me is not her place. I feel that the man should do the calling and the woman be on the receiving end. Unfortunately, I need to find a good way to say all this without sounding like a jerk to everyone. Any ideas?
2006-09-10 15:36:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you've missed out on a very important life lesson. Men and women communicate differently. These little meaningless calls are an unimportant waste of time for you, but they are very important to her, and if you want to keep your girlfriend, it's vital that you understand that.
Women like to "touch-base". Men only talk when they need to talk. Women call because they want to talk.
Really. Stop being annoyed by your girlfriend's calls and instead appreciate the fact that she wants to talk to you. I know it can be annoying, but it's a sign that she's still crazy about you. Be considerate, spend two or three minutes chatting about nothing and listening to her talk about her day. You don't even have to pay attention, just say "mm-hmm" now and then until she finishes. She'll love you more for it, I guarantee.
2006-09-10 15:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Too late: you already sound like a jerk: also insensitive and a control freak. The question started out okay but when you added in the bits about 'when YOU need to talk to HER it's okay' but 'it's not her PLACE to call you', you lost any sympathy on this end!
If you feel that it's all right for you to call her and it's not okay for her to call you, then you are very controlling. She obviously cares more for you than you do for her; she's reading your lack of caring accurately and has become quite insecure - that's why she calls with what you refer to as "unimportant questions".
Simply explain to her that you're an insensitive jerk and let her decide if she should try to find someone better!
2006-09-10 15:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too late about the jerk part. I mean I was feeling for you to a certain extent until that whole "I feel that the man should do the calling and the woman be on the receiving end" part. Everythign from there just went downhill for me.
I think you should just go ahead and tell her everything you said right here. Honesty is the best policy and honestly she can do much better than you.
2006-09-10 16:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Nixxy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, you are a guy who does not like talking on the phone. Girls DO call their boyfriends nowadays, so you are a little off base on that, athough I tend to agree with you. It's more modern for things to be equal.
Her prior boyfriend was probably a guy who loved talking on the phone, and they called each other a lot. So she's used to that.
If I were you, I wouldn't hit her with that "man should do the calling" stuff. Not if you really like her. LOL.
Maybe you could just tell her that you hate talking on the phone, and that when you call her it will always be for a specific reason. And you would rather she would do that, too.
When she calls you, just tell her you are in the middle of something (try to be specific) and don't have time to talk.
That should work nicely.
2006-09-10 15:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAY too late on the "without sounding like jerk" wish on your part. You blew that one!
If you really have a girlfriend, she's in danger. All of your questions deal with controlling her or punishing her. I hope you're just a really sick, sick jerk and are sitting at home by yourself making this up.
Not only should you not have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be around people of any gender!
2006-09-11 15:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by BasketChick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might want to learn a little patience. She is most likely asking you those questions because she cares. What kind of relationship are you looking for with her? Those are normal questions everyone asks to someone close to them.. So she's not allowed to talk to you unless you call her? Sounds like she is an object to you.
2006-09-10 15:51:07 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way too late on the jerk issue...Don't worry about it, she is not going to be around long enough for you to learn how to be civil.
I imagine this question is a prank, if so, pretty funny... If not, maybe some big angry dude will punch you in the nose. We can always hope.
2006-09-10 15:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by mobileminiatures 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there is no way to possibly say that in a nice way, When she calls you and asks you these questions it is because she cares about you, not to waste your time. She is obviously way to good for you.
2006-09-10 15:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by tyker2020 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about. . . "Please don't call me because I feel it is the man who should do the calling. I am just old fashioned about this, and if you want to keep me as your boyfriend, you will go along with me on this. It's just one of my little quirks. (smile in voice here)"
Are you sure this is your girlfriend? Sounds like you are trying to distance yourself from her, and she is feeling the insecurity in wanting to connect with you. If you don't like her, it would be kinder to just tell her now than string her along. Believe me, when it is the 'right one', you will be so glad 'she' called you for any reason.
2006-09-10 15:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by violetmax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk do you really love her ?
or you can say you are busy and prepare some reasons to use.like some one calling you have some thing VIP,or to tell the truth what your feel.good luck
2006-09-10 15:54:53 · answer #10 · answered by kaku j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋