For the ladies: Can you translate this for me?
Met a girl who trained me at an old job of mine. Ever since, we'd have deep convos where she'd usually call me, and confide in me about a lot for hours on end. She also would laugh at things I didn't mean to be funny, and was apologetic alot when she didn't need to be. She would also call me up during a holiday and also spent 5 hours on the phone with me the other night, apologizing saying how she had been busy because of her job.
She does have a boyfriend though, that's why I'm not pushing it. They been together for 4 years, but she'll tell me that it's not the greatest, and when she goes over there she makes it sound like its a night job rather than spending time with him. She also says to me that she's faithful.
What is it that's going on......exactly? Is there more to it than can be assumed already? I had already asked her out once for coffee to see her reaction and she kind of had this smile and said whenever she could, she'd definitely make time for me.........
2006-09-10 15:28:37 · 22 answers · asked by Pep Streebeck 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me like she is looking for a back up plan if things don't work out with her boyfriend.
2006-09-10 15:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not the only one who is unsure - so is she...
I think she likes you but she will probably not do anything about it if she is faithful. Try to start asking her questions about why is she still with this guy if they are not the right match?? She might not want to be the guilty one if she causes the breakup.
I think you need to do a little diggin before you assume anything. She could possibly like you just as a friend. What does she talk to you about most? Is it her relationship - maybe she is looking for a male perspective on her relationship problems to try to fix them?
Sorry I couldn't help you more.
The only other thing you can do is flat out ask her - if she is interested in you and if she is hoping for you guys to hit it off one day without putting pressure on her - cause if you ask her and do not give her an out - she might back off totally.
2006-09-10 22:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by swim32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may truly love and value your friendship. That's the key word; FRIENDSHIP. I'm sure she knows you are attracted to her, and she's probably a little flattered. And, if things aren't perfect in paradise with her boyfriend, well, it's always nice to know there's someone in the wings, waiting. But that would make you the rebound guy, and that will get you nowhere.
Move on, find another woman to date. Keep her as a best friend if you want; ask her advice on dating and women. She just might surprise you when she tries to help.
2006-09-10 22:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say she's not sure. You could always ask her outright, or try to do so in a less overt way. Either way, it's not fair to you if you're not clear on where you stand with her. You might also ask her if her boyfriend knows (and is okay with) her spending so much time with you (via phone or whatever). Her answer to that question may speak volumes for what's really going on.
2006-09-10 22:33:25 · answer #4 · answered by HelpfulHanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from her apologising a lot means she is constantly in a state of guilt, like whatever she's doing is wrong, all the time. i did this, and my guy friend would be like "that's a sign right there that you're not happy, you think everything you do is wrong" and told me to stop saying 'i'm sorry' all the time.
in fact, it started with me because my guy wouldn't like something i'd say, an opinion i had about something, or anything. i'm still with him, working on our problems. but i still hold my tounge a lot. i've been with my guy for 4 yrs also.
i tried seeing who else was out there, i had this job where i met people all the time and tried to connect with people and make some friends. maybe that's what she's doing.
It sounds to me like she isn't sure of the path of her current relationship and if you get involved it could prove to be very messy. she may want to stick with her guy and try to work things out, or she could be confused a bit and is not sure if she wants to move on or what.
i say continue being friends with her, the way you are now. if her b/f is controlling (which is the sign of apologising a lot) and he finds out you two are talking he may become worse. he may even think she's cheating, which is a conclusion often accused in not so good relationships.
It sounds like she's trying to reach out and get help or needs someone understanding to talk to and connect with. mostly, she sounds like she's confused of what to do/who to be with, and she may also be a bit insecure or unsure of herself, hence the apologies.
2006-09-10 22:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by Bitterly Sweet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she is doing what I am known for....I meet a great guy. I talk to him about my problems...and he becomes nothing more to me than a good friend. I have a lot of those friends and they all want to be with me, but they respect the fact that I only look at them as a friend.
2006-09-10 22:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth. She may not be looking for a romantic relationship. She needs someone to talk to, someone who can listen to her.........and she has found that in you.
The thing is, if you ask her out as in looking for a relationship. you may end up being disappointed. I would let her make the first move as she's the one in the relationship. You don't want to misinterpret this. Trust me.
2006-09-10 22:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugh girls like that make all of us look bad! she's clearly not satisfied with her relationship but she should still not be having an emotional affair with you! dont pursue anything until, or even if, she becomes completely single. you dont want to seem like the cause of a 4 year relationship to end.
2006-09-10 22:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by thelittleirish1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she's definitely interested! She's scared to make a move because she's in a comfortable situation. Tell her its time for coffee! Lots of eye contact! Do this a few times(she needs to be sure of you before she makes any other moves) and be sure its what you both want!
2006-09-10 22:38:23 · answer #9 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think she sounds like shes pretty interested....she could also just enjoy getting the extra attention as she may feel a little stale in her current relationship.
my advise would be to not pursue anything until she has split with her current bf as you may find yourself being the bit on the side....good luck
2006-09-10 22:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by askaway 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋