Married for 6 years and still miss my love (even though we are not in touch)
2006-09-10 15:26:18 · 19 answers · asked by princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mmm... well on one hand, you can't really control how you feel about someone. Just what you 'do' towards that person. So the fact that you don't talk with him or anything of the sort that'd put you in a position to do something you might regret is really decent of you. On the other hand, it's really unfair to your husband that your heart belongs to another.. I'm guessing time hasn't made this feeling go away so I'm not going to just suggest you ignore it and let it fade, so I'm really at a loss as to what would be an appropriate way to deal with all this. Just wanted to key in on if I thought it was 'wrong' or not.
2006-09-10 15:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to say you are a "hopeless romantic" because the situation may not be hopeless. But you are definately a romantic. You probably aren't in love with "HIM" anymore, it is more likely you are in love with the wonderfull memories from a romance that is 6yrs dead. Plus some of the fantacies that you have accumulated in your head over the past 6yrs.
You must ask yourself: Do I love my husband? Do I love the life I am building with him?
If the answer is yes, then you must then ask yourself: "Am I doing myself any good longing for something that never got past the college romance stage"?
Remember when you & your husband were 1st dating. Did you not have the same feelings for your future husband, as you did for your college sweetheart?
If the tables could be turned, would you still be as in love with your college sweetheart if you married him, & had to live with him day after day for 6yrs?
On the other hand, if you are in a loveless marriage, then start communicating with your husband. Find out why you have lost the love for him through professional councilling.
There is no good reason why you should remain in a marriage that can never be happy, if that is the way it truly is.
The chances that this guy is out there with his life on hold waiting for you to come to your senses is highly highly unlikely.
So are you living under the delusion that all you have to do is pick up the phone, give him a call & he'll invite you back into his life? Maybe you can dump your husband, & then you don't have to work so hard on saving your marriage?
After 6yrs I wouldn't be suprised if he's moved on & has put the relationship that he had with you into the "just another pleasant memory" category.
You can do that too, & then get on with your life, one way or the other.
2006-09-10 16:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why there is a song : "It is hard to belong to someone else when the right one comes along." Dont think its a question of right or wrong. If it is its a displacement of your heart mind and soul. All in the wrong places.
My answer similiar to a question like yours has been chosen as best anwser before. Take a look it may help you :
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You are not crazy. You have just like most people followed your head and not your heart. Anyway, your situation is that you are definitely in love with you ex. You have open and established a soul tie with him and it still exist even though the physical one is broken. Especially if you had intimacy with him. "And the two shall become one"..There is physical union, there is soul union. You need closure. And i know you will fight to close it. The closure is for you then for anybody else. Heard of soul mate that where soul ties comes from. And it need to be severed, so that your present relationship can also be freed and flourished. And then you can give you whole heart to the man you are with. I know, it doesn't matter if you have 3 kids. You can have 10 for that matter Cut soul ties means no more secrecy. It is consuming. Its your will. your choice. I know it hurts . That yearning and longing. Sometimes you just have to let go.
Source(s):
the same principle applies. That why the bible says when a man joint himself to a prostitute he has become one with her. Example. When 2 person have union physically they are joint, plus if there is strong emotion attached to it, the soul ties lives on subconsiously in us.
2006-09-10 15:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Memories is what I called them of your sweetheart its hard to forget the love that the two of you once shared at one time and they will stay in the back of your mind forever.. its hard to forget.. yes ur married now for 6 years and I am sure you love your husband .. I just say remember the good times you had and share the new ones with the one you love now.. its normal to love.. but just keep in mind ur college sweetheart is probably some where being happy too..
2006-09-10 15:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by ~*~ Stormy Weather~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are in love with him or with what your life might be like if you would have stayed with him because 6 years is a long time and it is a good bet that he isnt the same person you fell for.
2006-09-10 15:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is somewhat normal. And it will fade away.
Remind yourself that you are not the same person you were back then, and neither is he. So... the person you loved really doesn't exist any more.
It's true.
He will always be special to you, of course. You won't forget him, and that's OK. But the man you are married to is the one who loved you enough to marry you. Right?
2006-09-10 15:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say no. It is natural to hold an affection for past companions. You just have to make sure your feelings for your college sweetheart do not affect your relationship with your husband.
2006-09-10 15:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal to always have some love for a previous partner. It sounds like you need some closure to that chapter in your life so you can move forward.
2006-09-10 15:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we alot of us do that. I miss my ex boyfriend so bad I can't stand it sometimes and I'm engaged to another man. It is so hard to deal with sometimes. I think when you really and truely love someone you never really let them go but, you just learn to live without them.
2006-09-10 15:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
would it be fair to you if your husband still loves his exgirlfriend? if your answer is no, then you are inconsiderate and still need to grow up. 6 yrs dedicated means in love and loving your husband. some people in the world deserve their misery.
2006-09-10 15:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by Eryc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋