A man has a son who is now 18. When the boy was 15, he wrote him a check for $1,500, postdated three years. He told him if he managed to reach the date of the check without (1) any tickets, (2) being involved in any accidents or (3) breaking any house driving rules, he could cash the check. His goal was to provide an incentive for him to play by the rules long enough to form some good driving habits.
A few months shy of his 18th birthday, he received a speeding ticket. He fessed up about the ticket promptly, and was bemoaning the fine of $126. The father gently reminded him that the ticket had actually cost him $1,626, as he had failed to fulfill their bargain. Is the father a genius for coming up with the carrot that made him a good driver during his crucial first years behind the wheel, or a jerk for piling on a $1,500 fine? Note that his younger sister is watching carefully to see how this is resolved.
2006-09-10 15:05:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This isn't my child. My youngest is 28, but I will do this for when my grandchildren are ready to drive.
2006-09-10 15:19:20 · update #1
Dad was a genius. He put something out there that would make the son take note. Now the son has to live with his loss. Dad was right to point out that he did lose a lot more than 126 and he should follow through. Son should not be able to cash that check. Little sister is indeed watching and will now be more careful when she gets in the car.
2006-09-10 15:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It might be smart for the father to involve the son in the decison-making about what should be done.
If the idea is to teach the son responsibility, good decision-making, capacity to defer short-term pleasures for long-term goals--to act like an adult--then it would go along with that to ask the son what he thinks. Have the son grapple with this moral issue, see what his answer is.
One thing might be talking about how the son has managed to get along so far without breaking any of the rules. Did the prospect of getting the money influence his behavior? Was he in the habit of driving at the speed limit, and this was an av\berration, or was he in the habit of speeding a little bit, and this time he got caught?
I will say that I'm not crazy about the original contract. Like, don't be in any accidents? What if they weren't his fault? etc. And even more than that, and maybe this gets to the heart of the dilemma--teaching a young person to make good decisions should allow some room for mistakes--and working through those mistakes. If you're only in favor if you never ever have any kind of screw-up--we'd all fail. And then once a person has decided that they're in the out-category because they screwed up once--it kind of takes away the incentive to work through the mistakes and keep trying his best. I don't like the premise of having a responsibility lesson be an all-or-nothing thing.
2006-09-10 22:20:45 · answer #2 · answered by alison l 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The terms of the original agreement were broken, so the son is not entitled to cash the check.
If the father wished to make a separate gift to his son free of any conditions (just to express his love for the child) he certainly could do so. He should make certain that all parties understand that even though the child didn't deserve the money from his actions, he is receiving it because the father loves him.
Hmm. Funny how that parallels the human / divine relationship, isn't it?
2006-09-10 22:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Dave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father offered a good reward which may or may not have contributed to the boy being a good driver. Unfortunately the boy failed to keep up with the bargain and the penalty was high but that was the agreement and his sister should probably be afforded the same opportunity to obtain that reward. The dad is not a jerk for witholding the $1500. It was a good lesson.
2006-09-10 22:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by SunFun 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he did NOT keep his work, and withhold the 1500, he would be teaching the kid a bad lesson. It would be likely the kid one day would find himself in court, facing serious charges, and unclear why the judge or society won't just "overlook this one little transgression".
It is brilliant, an early lesson/metaphor for life itself, and I intend to borrow the idea and do exactly the same for my daughter (now 8), when she reaches that age. Hope that does not reach the level of plagiarism, but if you don't have the money for patents, I think you don't have any for copywrites, either.
2006-09-11 02:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly this is a Jewish family and thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. Yes we could decry that father as a monster or proclaim him a genius but something greater has happened here. We should take careful not. This father has shown his son value, he has shown him what he has lost and left him for the rest of his life to ponder on what he has gained. For the sum of $1625 the son, with the father's wise direction, has ransomed his own life from death. By the son paying attention to his own driving he has saved his own life in advance and maybe even the lives of others. This is a wise father.
2006-09-10 22:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rabbi Yohanneh 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Definitely the smart choice considering there’s a younger sister waiting in the wings. But I am getting the feeling that this is your own personal story (you being the dad)??? Maybe strike a compromise… deduct $500 from the $1500 and then give him the right percentage from the $1000 that he would have earned up to that point.
2006-09-10 22:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by blah1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think it was a stroke of genius.....any incentive for our children to be responsible behind the wheel is great.
however maybe give him a percentage of the $1500 so that he will be rewarded for the best part of the 3 years.
im sure he would of learnt his lesson and the purpose of the exercise from dads perspective has been achieved as his son now has 3 years of driving experience and would ensure safe driving in future
lets face it here in australia it is our younger drivers that are killed on the road due to irresponsibility, drinking or just being hooligans and it tends to be those new to our roads
job well done dad
2006-09-10 22:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by askaway 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very genius. because so far every time he get in car, he have his mind on that 1,500 check. Also when he lose and father stick to his words, it show son what real life is like plus it teach son that he could be losing something more than 1,500 dolars.
2006-09-10 22:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Dad is pretty much fair the son lost his check from Dad for failing the agreement and now owes the court 126 dollars to the court and if sister gets the same deal she should be very careful.
2006-09-10 22:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋