so i was dating this guy for like two monthes.. and then he moved away.. i had slept with him and i hung out with him every day not only with him but with him and his friends too.. we partyed together we did everything to gether all day.. he calls me once ever two days.. and he still tells me that he loves me..ive know him since i was 15 and yea.. i guess im just wondering if he was using me for the sex or if thats not it?? bec... in 15 days hes flying me there to see him and i dont know if i shoud go please help me figue this out
2006-09-10 11:40:40 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, he is using you for only sex. You have become his friend with benefits type of deal. You are too 'available' to him. He knows that when he needs you all he has to do is give you a call and you will be there for him at every beckon call. You need to redeem yourself. back off him. Do not show him that you are interested again. He knows that you are really into him that is why he is taking advantage of you. I used to be in a similar situation. My friend of 3 years-although we never had sex he tried to have me fall for that type of trick. I never did. He wanted to fly me to Hawaii with him for 2 weeks. I did NOT go because I knew that he would want sex of course. You have to realize that if he indeed liked you or had any interest in you as more than just a friend but a g/f and b/f title-he would have asked you out longggg ago. When a man wants a woman he makes sure he gets her or atleast tries his best so no other man can 'claim' her, he wants her to be all his. Men like a challange-you are no longer a challenege b/c he doesn't have to chase you; he already have you! Every heard the expression- 'why buy the cow when the milk is free?' Well, why should he want you as a girlfriend when he has all that and more from you. Although you do not have that dating title, he can flirt with other women and have sex with them because you 2 are not dating. He is getting the best of both worlds-lucky man if you ask me lol. You need to stop answering his calls (every 2 days is not good anyway, if he liked you he's call everyday)!! He just likes to be around you and enjoys your company-then again why wouldn't he? He is having fun. You are the one getting hurt in the end of all this. Does he care? No, of course not. Just because he is willign to buy you a ticket and fly you there does not mean much at all. He wants more fun, that's basically it. I know a lot of my friend's who's been in your situation. As I told them and I will tell you-do not be available for him. Never and I mean never call him again, he will think of you eventually and will give you a call-in the first few weeks do not answer-simple as that...I know it's easier said than done but you love yourself right? Then do this for you. Do not go see him anywhere. When you finally do pick up his calls talk as if you do not care for him much. Just short conversations. Like 'Hello, how are you? etc, etc. No big talk. Seem a little busy, as if you can't stay on the phone long b/c you do have a life of your own-you do not have to be free on his terms. Be strong ok. You will fiind a guy someday that appreciates you for you. Who will clal you everyday b/c he wants to hear your sweet voice in his ears, b/c he misses you and loves you, he will want to be there for you and he will make sure that you know that you are dating him and only him, he will do all this b/c he cares. Do NOT settle for less. You are too important for that. I know I may have taken this overboard here lol but this is for your own good. Just tell him that you can't go. If he truely likes you he will notice the change in you and go crazy for your attention. Remeber, just because a guy is willing to spend money on a plane ticket for you does not mean much, or just b/c he says he loves you does not mean he really does. Don't listen to the others that said he loves you because he is buying you a ticket or b/c he says he loves you. There's 2 types of love: To be inlove and to have love for someone. being in love is the real deal. When he wants you and only you. Having love for someone is having love in a friendly manner; loving your friends etc. Just don't go to the trip b/c you wull be TEMPTED to want to have sex with him again. It's the human nature to be tempted, so why cause yourself all that trouble. I rather not. Seriosuly, who knows what he is really doing down there when you are ntot around...I think you already knew your own answer to this. If not you would not have asked random people if he is using you. It's because you already know he is, that is why you have doubts. Trust your insticts. I've been used by a man i loved before, don't let it continue i did not. Good luck.
2006-09-10 11:53:34 · answer #1 · answered by NO♥NAME 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is a minor and had to move because his parents moved, I would say he has no control over moving. If he knew he was moving he should have told you that up front so you could make a decision about getting involved with him. If he is still calling you regularly and is flying you out to see him, it sounds like he must like you quite a bit.
2006-09-10 11:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by RKC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he was just using you for sex, it would of been just that. Since you guys were actually hanging out alot, and you were hanging out with his friends, and the fact that he still calls you after he moved and is flying you to come see him, its obviously more than just sex. Sounds to me like he legitimately like/loves you
2006-09-10 11:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think he just used you for sex??? He calls you and tells you he loves you, he's flying you out to see him!! He MOVED away, he didn't RUN away!! If he was using you he would've gotten what he wanted from you and you never would have heard from him again.
2006-09-10 11:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by morticia17mt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-30 13:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you were in bed w / him & party w / his frnds too you got girl friends who also party w / you,, it sounds like it was only you with 8 guys no other women.. now hes going to fly you to his place.. have funn..
2006-09-10 12:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by mike_m50501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i do not think it sounds like he meant to be using you if he cares enough to fly you out there to me with him...it is to bad though he moved away...i do not think long distance relationships work so well myself...but you could go since you two are so close anyway...and try to find out where you two are going to go with this relationship....i wish you the best and the best happiness.....
2006-09-10 11:45:50 · answer #7 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TO DEFINATELY KNOW IF HES USING YOU.. FLY OUT THERE BUT DONT GIVE IN TO HIS SEXUAL NEEDS, IF HE BECOMES UPSET WITH YOU FOR NOT HAVING SEX, AND I CAN TELL YOU THIS BCOS I'M A GUY, YES HES USING YOU.
2006-09-10 11:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he would spend the money for you to fly there to use you. That doesn't even make sense!!!
2006-09-10 11:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by dutchessdog1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he come in fifteen day don't have sex with him. then you will have your answer. just have fun and hang out. even if he wants it. don't do it. good luck.
2006-09-10 11:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋