What Is Ur Best One Liner?!
E.g...
My Mind Is Like Lighting, One Quick Flash And It's Gone!
I'm Looking For Stuff That This!
So Can You Help!?
Lol
2006-09-10 11:19:20 · 16 answers · asked by mad_smith1 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
2006-09-10 11:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by Swede 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My mind was wandering, but it's too weak to get far.
If she REALLY is 2-faced, why would she wear THAT one??
Google Rodney Dangerfield or Henny Youngman--they were the masters of one-liners. Oh--Groucho Marx, too.
2006-09-10 18:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life :-)
Not really a one liner but i just heard it lol
2006-09-11 12:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by sdfsgsdhyj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
consciousness - that annoying gap between naps
i feel like im diagonally parked in a paralled universe
10,000 sperm and u were the fastest?!?!
out of my mind. bak in five minutes
i was lost in thought....and i cnt find my way back!!
i was lost in thought....unfamiliar territory
money may not buy happiness, but it makes misery a hell of a lot easier to live with
this one may not be funny bt i think its a great quote: there are as many forms of love, as there are moments in time (beautiful, rite?)
2006-09-10 19:12:08 · answer #4 · answered by starewq 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?"
"Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!"
"Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?"
"I don't want you to turn the other cheek - it's just as ugly."
"I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!"
"Like a death at a birthday party, you ruin all the fun... Like a sucked and spat out smartie, you're no use to anyone."
2006-09-11 01:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
anything from smokey and the bandit films
" what we`re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law".
2006-09-11 06:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Ghost Boy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q How do you confuse a stupid person?
A 73
2006-09-11 02:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by sioux 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Jack helped you off the horse would you help jack off the horse?
2006-09-10 18:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Keith C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this isnt technically mine but i think its really good: All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
2006-09-11 14:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Rosiiie! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres no way NO WAY that you are the fruit of my loins.
jackie gleason to his idiotic son in the cannonball run lmao.
2006-09-10 18:27:07 · answer #10 · answered by Deano™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋