Please help me.?

Question

Im famous as a rude person precisely coz im an introvert and i dont indulge in flattering talks..thats why people assume that im rude and they dont like me..Im going to meet my fiance's family in november and some of his family members think the same about me..Personally even i want to break this image coz it creates problem for me in my workplace too..but i dunno how!please give me lots of tips so that people call me friendly and dont dislike me.

Answer 1

Just ask a lot of questions, show interest in the person you are meeting. Hopefully you can find something that you have in common & then you will be able to have genuine conversation instead of flattery. Ulitmately you are who you are, and that's the person your fiance fell in love with. Once they get to know you then they should be able to see the same thing he sees in you, it may just take some time.

Answer 2

Well, you don't have to flatter the person you are talking to, you can just get in on a conversation. You can choose a subject, or something of interest to you ar the other person you are having a conversation with and you can ask for their opinion from there.

I mean, from what you are describing, you are lacking communication skills, more then anything else. You can be a good listener and sometimes, it's not all about you.

It is s good thing that you are willing to work on it. Remember, in life, there is always room for improvement.

You don't have to talk about something you don't like, but definetely do talk about something you do. Don't assume that people will act the way you would in a situation.

For your "family" reunion in November, be polite and smile, and I bet it won't kill you to pay a compliment or two if it is something you like and mean it, however, if you are uncertain of your surroundings and are a little insecure of the situation, why don't you observe other people behaviours for an hour or two before you launch yourself into a rather lenghty conversation with somone. You will be in a better position to talk with that person 'cause you've had a chance to observe them for some time.

Don't be surprised or insulted if others do the same to you. Remeber, they don't know you that well and you are their cousins fiancé, so, I can ensure you that some of them will only look for the negative - AND don't give them the satisfaction.

You'll be surprised how far a smile can get you, and you won't even have to say anything.

Good luck with "meeting the family"

Answer 3

Genuine smiles go a long way. You don't have to become an extrovert, but you may have to learn the annoying task of small talk. You can however, be successful by making any conversation as sincere as possible. Especially within meeting the future in-laws and such. Try to take time to get to know something about that person more than just the false "how are you?" Remember, you don't have to give someone a compliment unless it's deserved, but to the same respect, you don't have to insult someone because it might be. With your co-workers, ask them questions about how their weekends went, how the family is, etc. People in general like to talk about themselves, but like it even more so when it comes from someone genuinely concerned. For those you don't want to be close to, keep it to a super friendly smile and a "Good to see you!" both of which can be meant whole heartedly without becoming sickeningly false.

Answer 4

Start asking your fiance questions about his family...... things that will give you insight to their interests. Then when you meet them, you can have something to talk about and will be able to relate to them about something. Ask them questions and make yourself interested in what's going on in their life. You can do the same at work. Try to get to know a few of your co-workers on a more personal level. You can open up a little. It's hard to bring your personal life to work, and I would recommend that you keep it simple (don't talk about an intimate relationship) but talk about your hobbies and things that make you happy. Let people see that there is another side to you and that you are interesting. Once you start becoming interested in other people, they will reciprocate the gesture and feel more comfortable around you.

Answer 5

You may have a real fear of socializing and there is medication for it. Check this out with your doctor. If this is not the case, just think about what do you have to lose to just be yourself and talk? It can't get any worse because you say nobody likes you now. You'd be surprised what a good reaction you would get if you engaged in conversation and act like you are really interested in what the other person has to say. People love to talk about themselves, so just get a conversation going by asking them a question about themselves and just sit back and listen.

Answer 6

Start by being nicer to everyone. Force yourself to make small talk in the office. Hopefully your fiance has told his family that you're an introvert, and they will realize you're not being rude. However, here's a few suggestions. Practice small talk and pleasantries with a friend. Find out from your fiance what his family members are interested in and talk to them about that. Most people like talking about themselves and if you act interested, they will think you're great. As you get more comfortable around them, it will be easier to be around them and talk to them.

Answer 7

Small talk can be really tricky, but it's important when you're trying to meet people and mingle. One thing that's good when trying to small talk is think of something you already know about someone - for example, you know they're a teacher. So you ask them what grade they're teaching this year, how many kids are in their class, what they did with their summer off, etc...

Everytime someone asks you a question, answer their question and offer one additional piece of information. At first it might seem weird, but eventually you will get used to it. For example, if they ask you how your job is going, you can say it's going alright AND you're working on an interesting project right now involving ____________. That will likely prompt them to ask another question, which you can answer and provide another piece of information.

Good luck :)

Answer 8

Read How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

It'll save your life!

Answer 9

Always smile and act like you are listening. Don't avoid people, just let them talk by asking about their life. This way you seem really nice and people have no clue what you are like.

Answer 10

be more outgoing... talk to more ppl... be friendly and make friends... make sure you dont act/ talk rudely, or say any unneccisary comments... remember if you dont have anything good to say, dont say it at all!!! and most times if your already in this rut... better just to stay more quuiet more oftan than any!!! let other ppl talk and let them put their fut in thier mouth and you watch your tendencies come out in them so you will see your mistakes!!