2006-09-10 10:54:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer that you'll ask me, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
2006-09-10 10:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by .oh snap.london bridge.oh snap. 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋
A Techy Joke:
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com
2006-09-12 22:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Wacko-Dxb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found this one online:
Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good. I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
2006-09-13 16:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A frog walks into a bank and up to the teller. He notices her name tag says 'Patricia Whack' and states, "I'd like to take out a $30,000 loan for a vacation, Ms. Whack". The teller just blinks in disbelief.
The frog continues, "It's ok. My name is Kermit Jagger and my father is Mick. Your manager knows me quite well. Just ask him, Patricia, and I'm sure there will be no problem with the loan.
The teller blinks again and stammers, "Any loan given here must be secured with some type of collateral. What would you give to secure the loan?"
The frog reaches into his pocket and produces a tiny, 1 inch high, perfectly sculpted, pink porceline elephant, hands it to the teller and says, "This will be acceptable, I'm sure. Thank you, Patricia."
The teller takes the elephant, walks into the manager's office and says, "You're not going to believe this! There's a frog out here who claims he's Mick Jagger's son. He wants a $30,000 loan to go on vacation and hands me this for collateral! I mean, what IS this, anyway?"
To which the manager replies, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"
2006-09-10 20:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by STEVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three guys hunting in the Jungle they get caught in a trap and the natives bring them before their king.
The King asks the first guy "Death or Conga?" The guy chooses Conga. He is fu.dge pac.ked by 10 natives and let go.
The King asks the next guy "Death or Conga?" The guy thinks about it and says "I'm never coming back here again so I choose Conga." He is fu.dge pac.ked by 100 natives and let go.
The King asks the last guy "Death or Conga?" The guy immediately yells out "Wait a minute the first guy got 10, the second guy got 100, I'm gonna get 1000. I choose DEATH!!"
The King shouts "Death by Conga!!!!!"
2006-09-10 18:06:28 · answer #5 · answered by eman1205 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man in hospital...kept wetting and soiling his bed
Nurse said if he stopped soiling his bed for a week,she would get him some cigarettes on Friday.
Thursday the nurse said to him ,well if you manage not to soil you bed tonight as the rest of the week I'll bring in the ciggies in the morning.
On the Friday the nurse brought him his ciggies,,, and being a kind guy decided to give one to each of the other patients.
He wasnt sure who smoked and when he asked them...they all said if they taste like the maltezers you've been throwing us all week you can keep them.
2006-09-10 18:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Sunseaandair 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think it is this-
a sardar had to learn an essay for his english exam .he learns an essay on the topic 'friends'.unfortunately the next day the essay came on the topic 'father'.but our smart and bright sardar didn't get disheartened. he substituted the word friend with the word father.
in the end his essay was somewhat like this-
I am a very fatherly person. I have many fathers.Most of them r boy -fathers ,but i also have girl-fathers(don't tell this to my mother)Some of my fathers are from school and some are from my colony.I have fathers from all age groups.I think my best and true father is my neighbour.
2006-09-11 05:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by naaz_blr 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A person askin' stupid questions like this is the best joke that i've come acros yet.
2006-09-13 04:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by Vidya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sardar gets married & boards a train to his hometown with his bride.His wife is desperate to have sex with him & when they are in the compartment she strips & lies down on the seat, to which the sardar says 'Chalti gaadi mein chadhna mana hai'
2006-09-11 07:11:26 · answer #9 · answered by Heista 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have heard many jokes but i cannot tell you
2006-09-11 02:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anubhav A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋