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I love my boyfriend and I have no intent to break things off. However, our intentions in between the sheets somewhat clash. He likes to get straight to the point, while I like to spend more time with foreplay; making out, teasing each other, getting kinky. He's been trying, but he keeps it really short. When I ask him if we can slow things down a bit, he just gets offended! It seems like I can't communicate with him about my sexual needs because it makes him feel like he's not good enough no matter what I try. Outside of sex, our relationship is amazing and our communication is great, but I have sexual needs too! What can I do to make him more comfortable with sexual compromise?

2006-09-10 10:37:07 · 24 answers · asked by db 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

24 answers

XXXXXXXXXX tie him down and take your time then have him do the same

2006-09-10 10:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0 0

I hate to tell you but some people are not to into foreplay. I guess there are a few things that you can try to see if you can bring it out of him, but you are going to be the example here. Sometimes, people are not comfortable with their sexuality. It sucks, but you just have to let them loosen on their own...why dont you try this. There is a game that my fiance and I play a lot that involves poker and sex that seems to be fun for both of us. First you get some index cards and split them in half to make about 20 little cards. You give ten to him and you get ten then you write down one thing on each card that is kinky or sexual that you will do for the other person. These will be your chips for the poker game. Now you agree on how many hands you are going to play with 20 cards I would do ten hands. Then at the end of the ten hands you look at your cards to see what you have. The cards are face down the entire game so you dont know what they are when you are winning or betting them...only at the end. Then you let him go first. He gets to choose a card and you have to do it for him. You can either take turns chosing cards or what I like to do it just alternate nights. So one night he is the boss and he gets to use as many cards as he wants....then the next night you are the boss and you get to use the cards...see if that sparks any interest in foreplay.

2006-09-10 10:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by Natty137 3 · 0 0

some reasons spring to recommendations. First, foreplay is composed of what are for men extra intimate events than intercourse — kissing, caressing, oral — and your guy may be uncomfortable with getting that close. (this may be a form of atypical adjustments between the sexes: A chick will pass down on a guy till now she has intercourse with him, yet maximum men evaluate giving oral far extra very own.) whether, he may be reducing the fore out of the play by using fact he needs to get off as quickly as achieveable. Or he would love foreplay...yet merely no longer with you. tell him how a lot you like specific factors of foreplay, and ask him to slow right down to furnish you time to delight in the journey. Then be constructive to enable him be attentive to — via movements, no longer words — that the extra he turns you on till now intercourse, the better it's going to be during intercourse. at last, you’ll make certain if he’s a foreplayer or foreplayer hater.

2016-09-30 13:31:34 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 4 · 0 0

I would really like a good answer to this also. I did find an article once in cosmopolitan or something about how women need more warm up then men and there were some hints on what he could do. I left the article in the bathroom right in front of the toilet, so that I knew he would read it and it seemed to work at least for a few weeks. We're back to nothing again and I can't find another article! So let me know if anything works for you!!

2006-09-10 10:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by evilcharm1 3 · 2 0

It's not a very good sign for him to reject your suggestions is it? Guys are often VERY vulnerable and will go out of their way to make a comment into a criticism. So, if you think it's worth it, make it very, very clear how much you enjoy foreplay. Then, search foreplay and read the articles together or pick out some that might help ahead and then read them together. Good luck.
A liitle tip. Once he learns the rewards of extending the foreplay he'll be dad gum sure to see that you get yours because the rewards for him will be that much greater.

2006-09-10 10:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0 0

Most guys are like that unfortunately. It makes us who enjoy oral really stand out though! hahha. Try getting him to start with a back rub with some baby oil and then give him a time limit until he can stick it in. like if it's 6:38 say not till 7:00

Or you could try getting a girlfriend, cause then it's basically nothing BUT foreplay

2006-09-10 10:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

hmm thats a tough one. have you tried to get his first over with and then start on you. have you tried to add something like if you can give me a good fifteen mintues of foreplay ill do X. or you could just say bluntly outside of the bedroom that things are not working well when we have sex. this should send off warning bells to him. and just say i like it but i would like to have more time before you get going. it would make things easier for me and make me want more time in the bedroom if you could just slow down a little and let me really get into it.

2006-09-10 10:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 0 0

try to do foreplay thoughout the day like making teasing comments and etc. buy a game perhaps. they sell lots of fun board games just check out amazon.

2006-09-10 10:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by Kitten 3 · 0 0

Make the foreplay like a funny game, instead of pushing to do your exact desires.

2006-09-10 10:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by Gabrio 7 · 1 0

You know, my missus and I had a similar chat recently- you need to talk to your boyfriend about this outside of the bedroom, just ask him to hear you out and then let him have his say too. Be as open as you can about your needs and encourage him to be open back.

2006-09-10 10:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by darth_timon 3 · 0 0

Us guys are physical creatures, so instead of talking about it, take his hand and show him what you want him to do. He will keep doing it until you show that you are ready to go past foreplay.

2006-09-10 10:43:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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