For instance, I went back home this weekend to visit the folks, and when I told them last night that I was going out with some old friends, they told me to "stay here." Can you believe that sh!t? I'm 24 years old, earn my own living, have my own place out-of-state, and am still treated like a baby. Even my 17 year-old sister is given more personal freedom than I ever was. Also, a few of my friends, who still live with their parents, are given free reign to do whatever they want. That is one of the reasons I got the hell out of state while they have no problem living with the folks back in their hick town. What drives some parents (like mine) to want to control their kids even after they have left the house? Can't they let go?
2006-09-10 09:44:03 · 23 answers · asked by Bedroom Celebrity 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
they want to hold onto their kids knowing they are already out of their lives.
2006-09-10 09:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they can't. Mine do the same, although they've changed tactics; it's all guilt-based because they realize that they cannot actually control what I do. Many parents still see their 20-something kids as "kids" -- but for you, having a 17 year-old sister who lives at home probably doesn't help. After all, they can still control what *she* does -- they have to be weaned, lol. Maybe they'll loosen up when she leaves for college.
Almost forgot to add that when I visit my parents, they still want me to call them when I get back home. Which is absurd, because I'm only going to leave again. And probably won't be back until 2 am, out 'gallivanting around the city' (one of my mom's preferred sayings).
2006-09-10 10:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Bunny*Run 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know why they do but my dad is the same way. Until recently I was visiting every other weekend at my parents house. Sometimes I wanted to go out to bars and party with friends afterwards nothing wild just hanging out sometimes even with my husband. My dad told me I had to come home right after the bars closed. I am in my 30's and haven't lived with my parents since I married at 26. I stayed out later sometimes because my friends couldn't understand me still having a curfew. He didn't yell at me though but usually told my mom they wouldn't babysit anymore if I couldn't be home on time.
2006-09-10 09:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by JustWant2B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think anyone can answer that except your parents. The chances are that they might not even be aware of what they're doing. Talk to them about your concerns. If that doesn't work maybe family counseling would be a good idea or next time you visit don't stay with them. If your at their home visiting and need to leave just say bye ,love ya and see you tomorrow. No specifics.
2006-09-10 09:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by vlg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true, parents can't let go. They have years and years of practice in trying to shield their children from problems and telling them what they can and cannot do. It's a very difficult habit to break.
On the one hand, aren't you lucky that there are 2 people in this world who still worry about you and want to wrap you up in cotton wool. On the other hand, yes you are a grown-up and perhaps you need to (gently) remind them of that.
2006-09-10 09:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by sarah b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're 18 and you drink vodka? i'm happy you have such great enamel, yet i'm somewhat irritating approximately your liver. I believe you in significant, nonetheless. yet mum and dad can no longer watch their teenagers 24/7, and except those teenagers are taught what's precise to consume, as quickly as they're faraway from the abode, they are going to probable head precise for the candy keep. and that i agree consisting of your mom, all issues moderately. i like cheesecake, yet I probable consume a slice possibly six circumstances a twelve months.
2016-11-07 01:27:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you visit, stay in a motel/hotel. If they protest, then tell them that you want the freedom to come and go as you please. If they are willing to afford you that freedom while staying at their place, then say you'd be happy to stay with them. If not, then this is the way it's going to be.
By the way, did they ORDER you to stay home, or just ask you to because they love you and miss you?
2006-09-10 09:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by bazzmc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they worry, care, and they raised you for years making sure that you done this or that. and if you have to come from another state to see them, then you should of stayed if you were staying there at the time. if you dont want to be "treated like a kid" then you should of stayed at a hotel! when you come from another state to "see the folks", then thats why you should stick around....to be with them! thats why they wanted you to stay!
ya understand?
2006-09-10 09:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Tweetalette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they can't let go. And it's not just some parents, all parents have the urge to control their children, it looks like protecting from their viewpoint. It's just that some are better at controlling their urges, or taking a subtler approach than others.
2006-09-10 09:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by juicy_wishun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You went to visit the folks and went out with friends.
Believe it or not, they miss you - though from your attitude I am not sure why. It was a weekend; your folks hoped you actually had come home to see them.
Lighten up...and grow up.
2006-09-10 09:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by carolewkelly 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
to be honest if it was me i would never come and visit and if they asked why I would tell them straight up dont sugar coat a thang give them a call or letter to communicate ubtil they get the picture that ur a grown man and if you do visit stay with a friend or hotel they will get the picture
2006-09-10 09:48:25 · answer #11 · answered by whitetigereyes8485 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋