what would u do when certain family members dont treat your adopted child right?

Question

u can sense it by the way they yell at her or say insulting things to her but she doesnt understand but the mother does so all it does is hurt the mother ...the child is 6 yrs old and u cant really talk to these family members cause they just deny everything or get mad for u trying to talk to them and start yelling any ideas ?

Answer 1

If you've already tried talking to them and it hasn't helped, then I would just stop visiting them.

If they are so petty that they can't put a 6 yr old's feelings ahead of their prejudices, then I'd say you and the child are better off without them.

Sorry they are being such jerks!

Answer 2

The first and ONLY one you are to take care of is this child.If she is being yelled at,weather it be from family, friends, or strangers.You need to get her ALL THE WAY AWAY FROM THESE ABUSERS!!It is your responsibility to make sure this child is protected and loved.If you allow this to continue,guaranteed she will hear someone say something about her, that will change who she is forever.NO ONE has the right to yell at this poor child of God. If you cared enough to adopt her, then care enough and be grown up enough to get her away from the abusers. Who cares if they yell when you say something,sounds like That's all they do is yell. They sound to ignorant to understand that a child needs love. Get her away from them and don't go back.Let them get upset if they want to. Your first responsibility is this child.You should not even have to ask this question, and by doing so,says that you're more worried about your family members than for this innocent child.If you can't take care of her properly,then she should go to a family that will treasure and love what a miracle she is.She is already going to have insecurities because of being adopted.Grow up and don't add to her problems.If i knew who you were,I'd report you.If you are allowing this to happen when you are around,I hate to think that you would leave her alone with ANY of them.If all your family does is yell, then there is no telling what else they would do to her,God forbid you were to leave her alone with them.Grow a brain!! And by the way,,,,No IT DOESN'T JUST HURT THE MOTHER...IT HURTS THE CHILD ALSO!!!

Answer 3

Like the old saying goes.....if you can't say something nice then don't say nothing at all. What these family members are doing to the child & mother are wrong. Adopted or not, the child is family and should be treated equally as the other children in the family. Honestly, I would not subject my child (adopted or not) to these individuals and their insults.

If you can't talk to them about their behavior then you need to remove yourself from the situation and if that means not bringing the child to their house or inviting them to your home then so be it. If the mother continues to let these family members insult her child then she is as much at fault as they are.

Answer 4

As an adopted child myself, the last thing you want for your daughter is for her to feel unwelcomed or not wanted. When your family members say these things to her you need to put your foot down. Let them know exactly how you feel and point out exactly what they are doing. Not only will they ease up because they know you're not playing games, but your daughter will not have the issues of feeling like she doesn't belong in your family. That can really affect a child negatively.

Answer 5

believe me I understand,the first thing you need to do is make it clear that you and that six year old little girl is a part of the family whether they like it or not, and that you treat her no differently and neither should they, and if they keep treating her like this, that they will not be allowed to come around your property until they can start acting more mature around this little girl,she just wants to be accepted and loved and if they cant accept that then you need to tell them they are not welcome around your children until they can admit to you that they were wrong, and did show partiality toward the children. good-luck,some people just dont realize the love of a child,adopted or bloodline is the sweetest feeling there is and being a role model for that child is an honor that should not be taken lightly and done so with lots of respect and kindness and equal heart-warming love that will be all worth while when the children grow-up and be successful and have all who was there for them to thank.

Answer 6

You have to keep your kid away from people who are abusing her! Adopted children are lifetime victims from the minute they've been separated from their mother. It's called "The Primal Wound" and there's a book of the same title that describes the situation. Those adopted children have huge problems and the only way to help them is to understand the issues they face, and to give them the unconditional love and acceptance they never got from their parents. Any hint of rejection or abuse is devastating and a serious injury to an adopted child. I should know, I was given up for adoption, and my life has been one of rejection by family, no friends, no love, and I am alone now, with no job and no direction or interest.

Answer 7

I think in order to protect the child I would keep the terrible family members away from her. Adults know how they should act, if they choose not to act correctly the child shouldn't be punished for that. I am sure the child may have already experienced a less than perfect life and I wouldn't subject my child to that. I would say GOODBYE to the family member and love my child, who I am responsible for!

Answer 8

I am assuming you can not remove yourself and the child from the situation.
When verbal communication is not effective, I have a tendacy to write a letter. Sometimes it sinks in better when your reading rather than hearing it. People can be less defensive when it is in writing and can think about it clearly.
This is why corrective discipline at work is also written and placed in files, it is very effective for getting the point across.
The key is to be very open and very honest without being confrontational in the writing.

Answer 9

I would tell them that they need to F. off and leave your child alone. Adopting a child is a wonder full thing and they shouldn't be treated badly just because they are not a blood relative.

Answer 10

I was adopted and my dad's mother never accepted me as his child. I can remember one time when we were in a room full of people and I was a teenager she said that is was too bad that he never had any children of his own. I will never forget her saying that. I was lucky enough to be accepted by every one else in the family on both sides.
It is your duty to protect your child and I would explain that if they can not accept her as yours, which legally she is, that you will just have to stay away and ask them to stay away until they can, or at least not say things in front of her.