My friend's father forces her to go to church on the first sunday of every month. She does believe in God, but she and I both believe that the faith is taught all wrong. This morning, she finally told him that she wasn't going to go, and he got pissed off, yelling, and threatened to take away everything that was important to her (total isolation). After a while of arguing, she just decided to go. While at church, her dad makes her read the book and sing (if she doesn't, she gets yelled at alot when she gets home). And then, he wonders why she doesn't believe when he literally forces her to go. Is this right? Is this the mindset of all Christians? Go to church or go to hell? I'm the boss and you do everything I say? I'm right and you're wrong? I just want an answer. Why?
2006-09-10 09:26:31 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The girl is 14 and is one of my best friends.. He only recently found out that she didn't believe in God the way that he does. She believes in him as an idea, a sign of hope, not as the creator of all things and the maker of all plans. When he initially found out, he immediately started yelling, not even giving her a chance to explain why. He simply said that what she believed was wrong, and that if it didn't change, then she was going to hell.
And, as for the "calmly talking" scenario.. That just won't happen. I don't think he even has an inside voice. I've had the pleasure of hearing that for myself..
2006-09-10 09:44:55 · update #1
One man can give you the answer. Why not ask your friend's father, so that he may speak for himself?
2006-09-10 09:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by Gestalt 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry for your friend. It comes down to two opposing factors. The first is that your parents have a right to discipline you as long as you live in their house, off of their money and under their care.
The second is that no one can be forced to believe in God or in any religion. People can be compelled by force to say that they believe, but trying to force someone will actually have the opposite effect and make it more difficult for that person to really believe, because the belief becomes associated with pain.
This is a wrong thing for your friend's father to do. It is something that some religious people do, but it isn't ever right. Most real Christians believe in the idea that for a person to have a genuine commitment to faith, that person must make a free choice, since this is the only way that a person could actually love God.
There may not be a very easy way for your friend to deal with this, but she needs to tell her father that he is making her hate going to church and maybe he will see the error of his ways. Don't suggest this approach if you know that he is a violent person, because he might react badly. The only other thing for your friend to do is to get a job and leave that home. This is a form of abuse, but law enforcement and family services will not recognize it as abuse, so other than your friendship, this friend is on her own. I'm sorry this is happening. The best thing might be to try to stay patient and know that her 18th b-day is coming.
2006-09-10 09:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by anyone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad's side of the family is Catholic and very very religious, so I can understand where the girl is coming from in a way. And in my opinion it is not right. I think that you can believe in God, or whatever a person believes in, anywhere. A person should not have to go to church, or a service, just to pray or believe in their god. But she also should respect her parents at the same time. If she really doesn't want to go. She should sit her father down and explain why she doesn't want to go, and it should be said calmly and respectfully. Good luck!
2006-09-10 09:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some generational christians believe that going through the motions is what makes a good christian. no it's not right. however, just believing in God does not make a person a christian either.
Believing that we all have sin and as a result should live separate from God, that Jesus died to pay that debt for us, accepting him as your savior, asking the Holy Spirit into your heart and following in obedience by baptism of water is what makes a person a christian.
Often times, once a person has gone through all that, they seek out a church family to fellowship with, but it's not a requirement. It's more like a blessing.
2006-09-10 09:32:19 · answer #4 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I take my children to church where they learn of God and enjoy Christian fellowship. Once in awhile they'd rather stay home but we go anyway. My house, my rules. There's very little contention because, deep down, they know I'm right. Soon they will achieve the age of accountability and they'll make their own decision. That will be between them and God - but I will have done my part to give them every opportunity to find Him.
In this case it sounds like too little too late.
You can't force one to worship.
If she believes in God but disagrees with their doctrine they should sit down and discuss it. Dad should consider visiting another congregation, or denomination, if that will assist daughter in her walk with Christ.
2006-09-10 09:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by NickofTyme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't misjudge the words and actions of this one man on all christians. Her father is mixed up and the real issue isn't about church. There is something deeper inside him that he needs help with and he is taking it out on your friend. Going to church and going to hell are not related. Following Jesus Christ is how we should live. Believing he has the power to take away our sins is redeeming. Nothing else matters. It is true that you should be in a church enviroment to help your faith grow but being forced to go is not necessarily the way. Of course this all depends on the age of your friend. She should go out of respect for her father's wishes even if she does not believe.
2006-09-10 09:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by nothingcreativecametomind 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe the father is right if this child has not reach leagal age and assuming that he is trying to bring her up the right way. Now if the child thinks this religion is wrong, she and father should discuss this together and force should not be tolerated if child still disagrees. I sure an understanding will come to a conclusion at that time.
2006-09-10 09:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think your friend's father should get so angry, because the Bible says God draws us with lovingkindness (Jeremiah 31:3). I think your friend might benefit from joining a youth group at church, where she can get excited about the God that loves her and wants her to be as passionate about Him as He is about her. You could also get with her to do a Bible study together, so that you can both learn what the Bible says who God actually is. Please tell her that on behalf of all Christians, I am sorry that we have represented God in such a negative and hurtful way. Please tell your friend not to give up on learning about God--search the Bible for truth and pray that He gives you both the wisdom to understand Him.
2006-09-10 10:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally wrong. The father is abusive to her daughter. If she does not want to go to that Church with good reasons, the father should be understanding about it. He needs to be patient and be more like a real human instead of a hypocrite who claims to be faithful to his own religion.
2006-09-10 09:33:18 · answer #9 · answered by Imagination 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking a young child to church, I understand, but when you become old enough to choose then it becomes a personal choice. It doesn't make sense to me the yelling and screaming and threats, and than turn around and tell them church is about peace and love, go figure.
2006-09-10 09:33:01 · answer #10 · answered by lvwire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents are responsible to teach their children right and wrong.
The father you mention appears to be trying to do that.
He might do better by having a discussion with his daughter about why he believes in God, and why he wishes for his daughter to go to church with him.
For this girl to go to church the first Sunday of each month is a small "sacrifice" for her to honor her parents.
Cordially,
John
2006-09-10 09:31:59 · answer #11 · answered by John 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋