My husband is in a wheelchair, because he was in an accident in 2002, and is now in a wheel chair, and me and him are ready to begin a family now, and my mom is getting mad, telling me that we should not have children. But gives me no reason why she thinks so. But every one else in my family is very excited for us and thinks its fantastic.There is a 90% chance that I am pregnant but I do not want to make my mom mad and start a big fued. But on the other hand, I me and my husband are living on our own, and have our own life and jobs. But me and my mom have a very close connection, and I do not want to lose it. I asked her time after time why she thinks we should not have a family together but all she tells me is because and walks away.
2006-09-10 08:38:56 · 18 answers · asked by tuffchevy86 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
have the baby. if your mom doest want to be a part of it, too bad. you're an adult now and she needs to learn that
2006-09-10 08:42:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may think that you will have to do too much parenting or physical activities involving a child because he is in a wheel chair and couldn't change diapers, bathe the baby... You could try introducing her to families who have children and one of the parents are in a wheel chair so she can see all the ways your husband can be an involved father just the same as anyone else. Another possibility is that she is having a hard time with the fact that he is in a chair and that pictures of her daughter's family will include someone in a wheel chair. You need to tell her that this is the happiest time of your life and the last thing you need is for her to be anything but the most happiest, supportive grandmother-to-be. Congratulations on your happiness.
2006-09-10 15:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by BLANK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to live your life for you, and nobody else. I understand that you love your mom, but you are no longer a child. It's either she accepts it or she don't, from her point of view she may see him as totally dependent upon you, and the child would be too, but she's being narrowed minded, because he is in a wheelchair.. One way or the other this man is your husband, and if you,and he want to start a family, then do so.
2006-09-10 15:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by Cocoa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom may be concerned that caring for an infant and a husband who is wheel-chair bound may be too stressful or difficult for you to handle.
However, I also think that as soon as you announce you are definitely pregnant, she will soften. She will of course still be concerned for your well-being during the pregnancy.
Do you have in-home nursing for your husband. If not, maybe consider it during the pregnancy and the first few months after the baby is born, just to give you and your husband a running start.
Having a baby is a very time consuming, albeit, wonderful time. Try to comfort your mom's fears by letting her know you are aware of the challenges and you are looking at solutions, temporary or long-term to assist you & hubby through the pregnancy.
Wishing you well in your pursuit of a family .......
2006-09-10 15:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you and your mom have a very close connection? It sure doesn't sound like it if she won't even talk to you about this!! Go ahead and have a baby if you want-as long as you and your husband can keep a roof over its head,food in its stomach and clothes on its back and are responsible enough to raise it properly. I'm sure once you have a baby your mom will come around to her senses, after all she will be the babies Grandmom!! And I don't know of any person that can resist a lovable newborn baby!!
2006-09-10 15:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by SidTheKid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, do not be afraid of your mom. If she is a good mother, and I think she must be, because you and she are tight, then she is only thinking of you and what you may or may not be letting yourself in for. If you and your husband are sure yourselves, this is what you want, and if you absolutley know you can handle anything that could come your way , then you and your husband, together, sit her down and tell her your plans. Do not ask her. Tell her. After all it is your and his life. She is not going to be asked to live it, just as she asked no one to live hers. I hope this helps.
2006-09-10 15:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by sadie13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sugar doll. Its plain to all the world you love your husband very much, and I'm truly touched by your dedication to him. Your life is going on, your moving forward. Your going to have a family of your own...and maybe your mom thinks your going to leave her behind. Its a truly frightening occurrence for your mom to see you moving on with your life. She took care of you when you were 1st born, all the way up to graduation day and beyond, and it must be really hard on her to realize that you are a grown women, about to have your own child. Talk to her about it...tell her you love her very much and that it bothers you how she wont tell you why. I truly hope everything works out for you, and congratulations on the babe!
2006-09-10 16:11:08 · answer #7 · answered by Angel of Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your mom are enmeshed. You are too close and the relationship crosses boundaries and is unhealthy. You left your mother and married your husband. He is your first priority. Why are you discussing family planning with her anyway? You are an adult, now act like it and start living your own life on your own terms. Keep your personal business between you and your husband.
2006-09-10 15:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by mad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you and your mom are very close, you can't let her make that decision. Don't let her make you miss out on the very amazing , loving experience. Like the person above me said: If she doesnt approve thenshe doesnt have to be in the baby's life. That may sound extreme but...
2006-09-10 15:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she probably doesn't want you to have kids because your husband is in a wheelchair or because she knows that if you have kids she won't be able to talk or see you as much as you do now.
2006-09-10 15:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by nicole30822 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Mom and I thought very different about life in general.
But then I got married and my husband and I talked and
we had to start our own life and family. My Dad was very
proud and my Mother wanted to control. I went and talked
to her one day alone and told her I had to start and grow
up on my own and she said, alright, but I don't agree.
So, we had to be independent and show her and in the
long run she was happy. She was just scared and did not
want me to fail and forget about her. I never did.
2006-09-10 15:44:58 · answer #11 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋