Christians only! I have some questions and concerns. What do you think about all this?

Question

I have gone to church my whole life, until the last two years which has been very little, since I was married. Anyway, I believe in God and have been saved and all that. I could go to church several different places.
I have one church that I use to go to for about 15 years with my mom when she divorced my dad, along with the one --other one I grew up in--that my dad attended until he died. I went to both--sometimes both each Sunday.
Anyway, I found many of the people to do my dad wrong and treat me badly at his church, especially when he was ill. No one seemed to care and tried to call and ask to buy land from him when he was sick and come over just to try to buy land or ask for things. No one would help me at all and he was so ill and he had invested so much into that church. He never said a mean word about them though. But I sure did. My mom and I no longer speak since I married and she went to a new church when the pastor at hers left. The new pastor now--just met him

seems nice, but when I left Wed. evening, he just said we would love to have you on Sunday sevices too. It would help us out. I said--Well I guess that would really be helping me out and he said--Well it would help us both out. I almost said --do you mean money--tithing?

Where are the good churches. I know that all are sinners, but I have had enough. I could tell many more details but not enough space here.

I mean, come on, my dad's old church--minister never spoke to me or shook my hand utill I dated a guy there that was rich. I am serious about that!

Answer 1

I doubt if he meant money.

Answer 2

If you're not too sure about either of your parents' churches, don't go there. You shouldn't feel obligated to do so, because even though you're still their daughter, you're also a wife now too, and you and your husband are perfectly authorized to make your own family decisions. There are plenty of other churches for you to attend that might make you feel more welcome. Try out a few new churches over the next few Sundays and see if you can't find one that suits you AND your husband better. Good luck!

Answer 3

This is simple: the church is not a place for people who are "saved". The church is for sinners and/or full of sinners. People are sort of disillusioned about this but that's the way things are. So, if anyone decides to argue this point I've just made, then why are these "church people" being mean and spiteful? Hmm...might want to marinate on that for a minute or so...

All of this turmoil has caused a riff in your family...these outsiders who had nothing to do with your life (mom & dad did, though) have interferred with their misinturpretations & representations of what "God" want.

Another thing I just want to put in this: I bet you most of the people of either "church" organization do not like anyone who is different from them nor who do not agree with them. Religion is the biggest segregation of them all: Protestants, Presbetarian, Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist...I mean, religion is supposed to be of love...wonder how many people love other races within these organization?

Answer 4

Sorry for your situation. But you know, churches are not filled with perfect people. Quite the opposite. Churches are populated with some of the most broken people you will ever come across. Thats usually why they are there, and should be.

But people are people, and people can be cruel and self-serving. But dont lose sight of the reason people go to church...to worship God. Everything else is window dressing. it doesn't matter where you go so long as you are comfortable and you can God can enjoy your relationship with one another.

Answer 5

Why care about churches? Why care about what people of the church think or do? Church nowadays has lost its meaning.. I am a Christian but I don't make the common misteke in believing what the church preaches or teaches.. Same may not allow girls with skirts to get in church.. Some may condemn guys with earings... That's not a church... The real people of the church are the monks isolated in the monasteries on the mountains.. Now these people don't care about money or power.. They live a humble life teaching the TRUTH to visitors.. Big Difference when it comes to everydays wisdom trust me.. they know more than the people who live in societies..

Answer 6

Thanks for sharing and asking. Just remember, whatever those people did, GOD knows all. GOD will deal with them all. Maybe pray to GOD what to do about it in your life. Maybe you could during a prayer or praise request if you have that in your church during service, to speak out nicely to let them all know how you feel. Maybe try forgiving them. Maybe they are all blind to see it. Sometimes people dont even know they are being that way, and that doesnt mean that all were. Sometimes people dont offer to help unless you ask them as they may think you got it all under control perhaps. If that is not the case, then... Perhaps talk to the new pastor as he may not know the whole story. Maybe he can give you guidance as how to handle this. It sounds like you need to find peace with it and to let your dad rest in peace now. It also sounds like maybe you are putting the new pastor in the same sterotype as the ones that hurt you. Give the new pastor a chance and talk to him. I bet the new pastor can help you. Pray to God as well. Otherwsie maybe move on to a new church and start fresh and leave it to GOD the rest. As God says... we are to love our enemies. Now that one is hard, but maybe by letting them all know how you feel and "forgiving them" may be a start for you to let you father rip.

Answer 7

Please give me a chance to explain somethings before you rush to cut my head off. There is no perfect church---if you find one, then as soon as you walk into it it will no longer be perfect. A lot of people, if not almost all of them, have4e the wrong idea of what church is all about. Church is about praising and worshiping God, fellowship with like-minded Christians, and gaining healing for the physical and spiritual miseries that plague us all. Some people see church as an opportunity to get something for themselves, rather than to give to others. In every church you have your givers and takers----most of the people are takers, and if asked to serve the Lord through the church would give a host of excuses as to why they could not. Forgiveness is hard, but forgive we must if we are to be forgiven. I do not know what this new pastor's intentions toward you are, but you can find out quickly by listening to him preach. the only way to figure out a preacher is to listen to him and compare what he teaches with what is in the Bible. Understand that you are going to be confronted by opportunist and controlling people everywhere you go, and this is something that you are going to have to pray about and forgive often.

Answer 8

Go where you feel the best. All churchs are about the money. I do not attend them. I can pray to God anywhere I want to. Gods true church was not man made. Just look out side.

Answer 9

I judge the church by the sermon. Does the pastor sometimes sound as though he's talking directly to you like directly to your soul? I compare it to turning the volume up on the TV... and when it happens, is it the message like he knows what you're going through or has somehow bugged your house? I like to think of my pastors as instruments of God's word to MY ears (personally). If I don't catch that, then I don't feel like he should be my pastor.

Answer 10

If you dont feel that your church congrigation nor your pastor has treated you respectuflly you have to examine there sermons. Are they preaching Jesus? Are they serving Jesus? If either of these answers is no then you should try to find another place to worship. I hope you have better luck somewhere else. Bless you.

Answer 11

Glad to hear you are saved :)

The pastor you spoke with may be looking for your involvement in the fellowship of his church... does that mean tithing? No way to know without his explicitly telling you.

Cordially,
John