my man is the sweetest most caring person i know, but every time i tell him i will go out by myself, he just says, allright, enjoy! Which i hate cuz it seems as if he didn't care, i mean freedom is ok, but shouldn't he be a little more possesive or is it me that's wrong? Yes, i know he trusts me and all, but it still feels like he didn't give a hoot!
2006-09-10 08:14:33 · 20 answers · asked by AMBER D 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not at all darling. He does care, very much - and that is why he wants you to have freedom and to enjoy your relationships with your friends. He may also value the alone time he gets while you are out.
I'll tell you, a long term, committed relationship needs air to breath and live. And you were a vibrant social person when he met you, right? That's who he fell in love with, right? Why would he want to change that?
Count yourself lucky. I know women who's husbands get so lonesome on their own that they won't ever take any time that they could be spending with him. I know other women who's husbands are out all the time leaving them totally inside taking care of kids all the time. I know other women who's husbands get so jealous that they won't let them have a key to their own house - so they can't leave unless he is with them.
Be glad for the trust. Believe me, if he thought there was a threat he would be more possesive. He is likely very happy to have such a great girl that he doesn't have to worry about. Just be happy.
Peace!
PS - heaven_o is right. Just tell him. You can say "I have come to be sort of used to people being possessive if they care about me and you are not possessive. Sometimes it makes me wonder just how you feel".
2006-09-10 08:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't even say that if you know he is the first one in ur life knowing he trust you. put in all a man is just as possesive as for a women is
(of me ) that had a bad marriage and loss"you still have to trust the other person that who loves you I know he trust you he just saids it in a kind matter of hoping you have a good time. I have live w/a women who I met through someone online who is my common law
wife where I am from Maine where this French Canada , Like I will
say again nothing is wrong being possesive but you can not take
to far something we say the green eyed monster will come out and ruin the relations ship u have for eachother
2006-09-10 15:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by edward_church2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually my husband is the same way. Even when we were dating he was like that. I finally asked him why. His answer: (don't know if it will be the same for you)...In a past relationship he was possessive and it ended because of it. The girl said that he was too possessive and was angry because of a lack of trust...he said that he didn't want to lose me the same way he lost his gf back then. I told him that being a little possessive would show that he cared and that I needed that. He said that deep down he was a bit angry and jealous but he didn't want to show it. Then said that women are too complicated lol. That we don't want over-possession but we do want some and it is hard for a man to determine how much is enough. LOL!!!! it's just men!!! They dont understand us and never will heheheh...Don't worry hun, he does care about you...try having a talk with him and find out. Never hurts to ask.
2006-09-10 15:24:22 · answer #3 · answered by goober 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can trust you not to do anything bad then why should he freak out about you going out with your friends. A possesive is only possesive cause they think they will lose the other person. If there is trust then there is no need to be possesive.
2006-09-10 15:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by tlets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he trusts you and knows that we all need some space! Sounds like you have a great guy! I also think it depends how often are you talking about, some people like they're own time and he may enjoy doing what he does alone too.
Sounds like this guy is respecting your time! What exactly is wrong with that? Tell him what you want!
2006-09-10 15:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are some people who are more secure. I would talk to him about how you feel, but he may not change. Also, ask yourself, are you just used to being around men who are jealous and possessive? If so, maybe that is what love means for you. Maybe it's not the same for him. People will act and feel how they've been "programmed" mentally and emotionally through life. It's important to understand that.
2006-09-10 15:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by TheCoconutGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he care but her wants you to have a good time. My man does the same thing. He says he does it because we value our time together and we need to be a way for each other sometime. It is good that he trust you. you 2 are just fine.
2006-09-10 15:18:24 · answer #7 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy that he trusts you so much! It could be a lot worse, and he wouldn't let you leave the house without him, or he won't let you talk to any guys that aren't him. I know people who won't allow their gf's to go to parties or hang out with friends w/out them. Although I guess it goes both ways, where you would like him to be more protective. Just talk to him about it.
2006-09-10 15:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by sluijs01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy that he's OK with you going out by yourself. Trust me you don't want a guy that is possessive. Be happy that he lets you have a little freedom.
2006-09-10 15:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jamacaray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its not wat u say it's the way u say it. if u say im goin out by myself then he mite think u don't want him around u! or maybe he gives the impression tht he doesnt care, because he doesnt want to show he relays on u too much. or mybe he thinks if he shows tht hes possesive! because he wants to give u, ur space i dont know there r a bunch of reasons! u should try to mention guys an see if he gets jealous and thn he mite want to go with u where ever ur goin!
2006-09-10 15:21:16 · answer #10 · answered by intellectual_mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋