I moved out of the house about 5 months ago and my dad complains that I don't visit enough, which is true. I don't visit more often than I do for several different reasons, but I told him that I'd be more inclined to come over and visit him if he didn't smoke cigarettes. I hate everything about them, the mess, the way they smell, they make your hair and clothes reek and it irritates my sinuses. Even when I go back to the house when he's not there, my clothes will reek of cigarette smoke when I leave. He goes outside to smoke when I visit, but it doesn't eliminate the problem. Anyways, he's kind of offended that I told him that, but it's how I honestly feel. I didn't give him an ultimatum or anything or tell him I'd visit when he completely stopped smoking. I just said that I'd visit more if he didn't. I wanted some outside opinions. Do you guys think it was wrong of me to tell him that?
2006-09-10 07:38:12 · 18 answers · asked by Jenn 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's a tough situation. I feel for you, because my wife and I have the same problem with our Dads.
Just try and compromise...hard as it may be. Even though you are right in not wanting to be exposed to that environment, you should understand how *hard* it is to quit smoking. Nicotine is horribly addictive. Maybe you can only visit once a month...and wear crappy clothes when you visit.
And at least he is trying by going outside for a puff while you visit...that shows that he loves you and is willing to work with you.
Anyhow, he shouldn't be offended by your statement. If anything, he now understands that you don't visit because of his habits, not because of him (the man).
2006-09-10 07:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by The ~Muffin~ Man 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you and really wants you to visit there is not reason why he can't stop smoking for a few hours while you are there. Ask him to meet you places for dinner or lunch or something and ask the he step outside to smoke. he may still smell like it a bit, but you won't. You can still visit with him and not be at the house. If it's important to both you, then you can make it work. Chances are that even if he stops smoking the house will never stop smelling that way. Try to take a walk in the park or something. Find something else to do.
2006-09-10 07:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im lovely sure your dad already is aware of you smoke weed. Nevertheless i don't feel that you simply should be smoking J's with him any time soon. There's no rationale so that you can tell him that you smoke. He could just be turning a blind eye to what your doing but for those who carry it up he could (such as you stated) be a hypocrite about it and stop you. Simply maintain it to your self.
2016-08-09 14:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im beautiful definite your dad already is aware of you smoke weed. nonetheless i do not consider that you simply must be smoking J's with him any time quickly. There is not any rationale so that you can inform him that you simply smoke. He could simply be turning a blind eye to what your doing however in the event you carry it up he could (such as you stated) be a hypocrite approximately it and quit you. Just hold it to your self.
2016-08-21 07:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by shiva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wasnt wrong at all
you did the right thing
he should be understanding
after all: there's nothing good about smoking so why should he get offended
but anyway
maybe instead of visiting, you can meet in other places
maybe even go out to a restaurant that has no smoking signs
just an idea
just remember, you are the innocent one in this case
so dont be feeling guilty about telling your dad how you feel
2006-09-10 07:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Let me tell you why. People who smoke have no idea how it smells or how it makes your clothes and hair smell, or the physical illnesse's it brings upon you. I know. I was a smoker for years, 34 to be exact, and probably drove my family crazy. If he loves you and if he cares about how you feel or your health, he will smoke outside or better yet, for his own health, he'll quit.I hope this helps.
2006-09-10 08:24:39 · answer #6 · answered by sadie13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with that. While its nice to visit your dad, at the same time, you shouldnt have to risk getting lung cancer just to see him. He's the one who needs to compromise and stop smoking, not you.
2006-09-10 07:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by sluijs01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled it about as well as you could. You might ask your Dad to come over to where you live for a visit (if he's close enough). Good Luck!
2006-09-10 07:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did that right thing. If it bother you so bad don't meet at his house for to dinner or sit on the park bench and visit. You can even invite him to your house and talk. Who knows he might change.
2006-09-10 08:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are mature enough to move out you are mature enough to tell him the truth as to why you don't visit.
If he doesn't accept your logic, then don't visit him. If he chooses smoking over you, then its his loss.
2006-09-10 07:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by the master of truth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋