We have been together over a year, now all of a sudden, he won't take my calls and won't call me back. Every one who knows us both says they don't know what's going on, but not to worry about it just to give him some time. I'm at my wits end. I'm ready to give up, but My heart doesn't want to give him up. I'm making myself sick over this and know I need to do something. Any advice?
2006-09-10 07:27:33 · 19 answers · asked by mel_a_can 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've talked with his kids(adults) and getting odd info. One saying he has moved in with another woman, one says no, but that he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore, and the other tells me not to give up on him, that if I do I will lose him, so I'm more confused now then I was....
2006-09-10 15:33:35 · update #1
I know this hurts, and I feel for you... but you must now be good to yourself. Do not torment yourself. He may never give you an explanation, and it really doesn't matter. The painful truth is that he has moved on for some reason. You don't have to own his reason. You don't have to share his logic. But you do have to move on.
Do whatever you have to do to get over him. Lean on your friends and family for support. Let them know that you are hurting and try to spend a little more time with them so you do not have to go through this alone. Resolve in your head that no matter what you feel in your heart you cannot change his mind. I have been in this situation before. One thing I have learned is that by continuing to contact him will only annoy him. It will not make him see your perspective.
And if there is a chance that he has found someone else (I don't think his kids would make up something like that), then he has resolved to be with the other woman. Even if he does come back now it will be only if it doesn't work out with her. That would make you his alternate plan, and you deserve better than that.
It may take some time. Don't rush yourself. Spend time doing things that make you happy. Take up a new hobby or join an organization. Allow yourself to cry. Don't suppress the emotions. But also don't wallow in self-pity. You can cry for (one hour) per day. This way you are allowed to feel your pain and deal with it, while still trying to pick up the pieces and move on.
If you find after several weeks or months that this event has altered your life so much that you can't function, then you need to seek help. Sadness is to be expected, but if you start becoming overwhelmingly sad and you can't shake it, you could be suffering from depression and may need counselling or medications.
Again I am sorry for your loss. But you can get through this... Just be strong and don't give up.
2006-09-12 08:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by ŧťŠ4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit calling him period. Let him call you and let him know that you can't stand and won't stand him ignoring you when he does. A relationship takes commitment and communication!
If he isn't willing to reach out then this is a very big sign, however; make sure that you give him sometime as something major might have happened and he needs to figure it out before he can talk about it, if it's the latter that make sure he knows that from now on if he hasn't something going on he can atleast explain what it is! And the reason he needs some space.
Good luck!
2006-09-10 07:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, if nothing happened recently to cause this, then he just may need some space, maybe he's just overwhelmed and it may have nothing to do with you, but he's just figuring things out. Just leave him alone. The more you push by calling the longer it's going to take for him to work through what ever is going on.
In fact, the pushing might back fire and he'll just break it off with you just to get you to stop.
I know it drives you nuts and breaks your heart, but men don't always vent the way women do. Sometimes they just go into themselves when they're trying to work something out and they don't realize the anxiety they're causing the women in their lives. So just give him some space.
I would suggest a movie (or lots of them) and tons of quality time with the girls with the rule that you won't spend the entire time obsessing over what he's doing and why.
I'm sure it'll all work out. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-10 07:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by LifesAMystery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, if your situation is anything like mine was, he's getting ready to leave you or waiting for you to just throw in the towel because he's too much of a coward to confront you. I eventually did through in the towel, I sobbed and sobbed, damn near cried myself to sleep every night, but I moved on and now I'm in a loving and committed relationship. If your guy is trying to give you the boot, remember there is life after him, you will move on and you will get better, much better! So much better that when you see him in the street one day, you'll think what was I thinking? And he'll think damn what was I thinking to have let her go? So the despair you feel now will fade, you'll move on, you'll become a whole and happy person again.
With all that said maybe he just forgot he's phone somewhere :)
2006-09-10 07:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest backing off. By you calling him and leaving messages. Your giving hime control and making it easier to do what he is doing. Stop calling that pisses men off more than anything especially when they think you stop carring and it does not mean that he is dating someone else all though their is always a possibility. Don't call give it some time you'll find the answer your looking for one way or another.
2006-09-10 07:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by mvc873 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this... Are you clinging onto him tightly? Like calling him all the time? Questioning where he goes and who he's with etc? If So, back off. Give him some space and maybe then try to contact him in a few days and find out what's wrong.
2006-09-10 07:31:02 · answer #6 · answered by zekemilli4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he wont take calls and no one else knows then he is trying real hard to give you a big hint they may know but they dont want to be the one to tell you that he is breaking up with you in the worst way possible. just move on dont bother calling or trying to ask why or anything just move on now or your gonna be sorry you kept trying.
2006-09-10 07:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me once many years ago...turns out his father passed away..and he was so hurt from losing him he didn't ever want to feel that pain again..so he didn't want to love me anymore..it is possible that something drastic has happened..or maybe he has met someone else and is to much of a coward to tell You..either way You need to find out before You can move on..Go to his house and demand an explanation..if he still ignores You try talking to one of his friends or parents they might know whats going on...good luck
2006-09-10 07:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by Catherinefaith 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but the best advice I can give to you is... leave him one message, if he doesn't call back forget about him. It may not be easy, but you will only continue to let yourself be hurt if you hang on to someone who doesn't feel the same way.
2006-09-10 07:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without knowing everything about what has gone on, it's hard to say. Just get a couple pints of Ben & Jerry's and be prepared....
2006-09-10 07:30:29 · answer #10 · answered by irish_pixie74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋