I still care very much for my ex but she cheated on me. We are now seperated but have the same group of friends. I do not know what to do at are next meeting. Should I ignore her or should I be weak and forgive and make friends. I feel she does not deserve this. but I do not want to loose my group of friends because of her.
2006-09-10 07:02:52 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's probably best to play it cool since you share a group of friends. As to whether or not you should be her friend, that depends on how you feel. It sounds like you're still too hurt for now, so I'd just play it cool, be polite and enjoy the gang.
That doesn't make you friends, but it also doesn't make you look petty and hurt (which you would if you intentionally snub or ignore her).
In fact, it would make it at least appear like you are well over her and have decided to just enjoy your life. That, may well be some mighty powerful revenge. (she'll be so disappointed you aren't missing her)
2006-09-10 07:07:18 · answer #1 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive her and maybe even become friends without being weak and forgetting the act or how it hurt you. All forgiving her means is that you've let go and don't hold a grudge. It doesn't mean you have to leave yourself open to letting it happen again or even that you have to stay friends. You also have no obligation to like or be friends with all the people your friends are friends with. But, it's unfair to make your friends choose you over her, the one who initiates such a war is probably the one who's going to lose that war. So, my suggestion is that if you're going to hang out with the same people she does at the same time, be polite, but avoid any real conversation with her and try to ignore her until you too have healed enough to move on completely and be friends comfortably. If you find that doesn't work, then try to avoid hanging out with your friends when you know she's going to be there. Let your friends know what's going on, that you're not going to make them choose loyalties, but that you'd appreciate some discretion on their parts so they don't accidently start rubbing it in your face. Then, just see where it goes. It may turn out that it's not nearly as uncomfortable as you thought it would be, esp. since you do still care for her. It's her move, and if she ruins that too, then at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you were the bigger person all around.
2006-09-10 07:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is let it go. If you left her for her infidelities your mind will pressure into being mean to her and other stuff so you can feel better. The best thing to do is stay broken up but be cordial. Act as if it had no effect on you. Move on with your life when you are ready. It will be super hard but try not to A. Be angry and make yourself look weak, or B. Get back with her depending on what the circumstances were that lead to her cheating. Good luck. I went through it and I am still having a hard time moving on, do not be like me.
2006-09-10 07:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to forgive when someone hurts you badly, but depending on what kind of relationship you had and how much you care for her, forgive her.. I'm not saying to take her back right away but forgive her and try to work things out. Life is to short to hold on to the past.
2006-09-10 07:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is power in forgiveness. Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you, not just in this situation, but in life. My advice is to forgive her and be friends if you can. I would definately not persue a relationship with her. Either ignoring her or making up will work for your next meeing w/ your friends. Whatever your choice, just be real.
2006-09-10 07:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by xalsk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to still care about her, but remember you guys will never be able to really move on becasue the thought of her cheating on you will always be there. If I were you I would act as if nothing bothers you at all. Don't let her get the best of you. Act like nothing happened, be friendly (not overly friendly) and move on. Your friends will always be there, and they know she was the one who was wrong.
2006-09-10 07:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by LaDonna J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just forget about her. If she is the one that cheated, then she should leave the group or meet with them at a different time than you. You should not feel bad at all, she is the one that messed up, not you, you shouldn't punish yourself over this.
2006-09-10 07:05:48 · answer #7 · answered by irish_pixie74 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back with her just for the sake of your friends. Why not just treat her as just another girl. If your friends ask why you aren't together say "i don't want to be with someone who cheats" and leave it on her to explain away.
2006-09-10 07:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt forgive her as in go back out with her but i think you should still be friends but at the same time if your other friends arent gonna be friends with you because of her then they dont sound like good friends to me.
2006-09-10 07:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Katie Saunders 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can make this decision but you. What were her reasons for cheating? If you got back together, would you be able to trust her? How do you know she wouldn't do it again? You really gotta think about those things!
2006-09-10 07:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by Joelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋