My son is seven years old. I was incarserated in prison when my girlfriend found out she was pregnant. I guess while I was in prison she got arrested for possesion/distributing illegal substances. Her parents took the custody of my son, but didn't adopt him. They now want to adopt him (she is still in prison and doesn't want him) My parents paid child support to her parents while I was in prison and since I've been out I've paid child support. Her parents still want to adopt...is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening? Shouldn't I get full custody of my child? I cannot afford a lawyer and I'm not sure what I shoud do? What steps should I be taking? I think the trouble I've gotten into really makes me a "bad parent" in the courts eyes.
2006-09-10 03:30:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Okay, this is what I don't understand. If I can pay for internet...what makes people so quick to say I can't afford a child? I actually have been out of the prison system for two years now. Supporting myself finacially. I am also purchasing my own home. What I meant by "I can't afford a lawyer"...is I can't afford an expensive lawyer. Yes, I can support him 100%.
2006-09-10 03:56:01 · update #1
Your state should have an office that will provide legal services to you at little or no cost. These grandparents MUST take you to court, they cannot just adopt the child without your consent. A judge or child custody hearing will be conducted and at that time you will either say yes or no to the custody transferral. AS the biological father these ARE your legal rights. It cannot be done under the table...make sure you have proof of all child support payments made by you and your parents....take them to the legal office and also try to call DHR/DHS, child services and ask them who they would recommend to you in reference to this possible adoption that you are against. They cannot get adoption just because you were in prison, they were probably given temporary custody, but that does not automatically allow adoption.
I am hoping you are on the birth certificate, if you are NOT, then legal services can help you with that as well.
Good luck....and it is really great to see a dad that wants to be in his child's life. There are too many dads out there that do not care.
2006-09-10 03:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by thedothanbelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't really give enough information. Is your name on the birth certificate as the father? If so, even though you never married the girl, you would have to sign adoption papers for her parents to be allowed to adopt them. Never sign anything. You are the father and have legal rights to your son even though courts were never involved. And also the proof of child support being paid by you. The first thing you need to do is establish paternity, if you haven't done that already. You will have to go the courthouse and file a petition to do that. All it is, is a legal paper filed in the court that you are the father. Call the district attorneys office and see if there is anyone you could talk to about your situation and if they know of any free legal advice in your area to help you start proceedings. Just because you were in jail doesn't mean you are a bad father in the judges eyes. You have obviously taken on responsibility by paying child support. And though you may not have physical custody of your son right now, you still have joint legal custody with the mother. There is no way her parents have legal custody at this time. They only have physical custody. Is it filed in court? I'm not sure what you mean by they took the custody of your son. If nothing was ever filed in court then they didn't take anything legally. Your son just lives with them. I wish I knew more of the situation so I can tell you what papers you need. I did my own divorce and custody crap in CA and learned quite a bit about what papers you need to file. Alot of paperwork!
Anyway, I sure hope you find the right help. Just get in that phone book and call every kind of social service organization in your area. Good luck.
2006-09-10 04:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by dizzyd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't give up without a fight. You can still schedule an appointment with an attorney just so you can find out what you can do legally. Some offer a free consult, others charge less than $100.00.
Your son will feel as if nobody wants him if you just agree to terminate your rights. I am sure your girlfriend's parents mean well but if you have turned your life around and are sincere that you are done with the drugs, you may have a chance. The judge is going to base his decision on what is best for the child.
Make an appointment with an attorney. He or she will let you know what your odds are. Remember this too, if the parents adopt him and they both die before he is 18, where would he live?
Best of luck to you.
2006-09-10 03:37:12 · answer #3 · answered by bonjovigroupie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you really need to do is think about your son. What is the best thing for him. Where is he more comfortable. It does't make you look like a bad parent now because you are showing that you are concerned but if you take this child from a good stable home where he has been for so long to a home he knows nothing about then that would be wrong. If you could just go and sit and talk to the grandparents and try to work out an aggrement that would be the best thing to do, because its not fun for a child to be moved around alot, trust me I know because it happened to me just about my whole life and nobody ever ask me what I wanted, true enough I was just a little girl but it just wasn't fair. So try that and let me no how it goes.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.
email me at gurl_knows_all@yahoo.com
2006-09-10 03:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by baby gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are definitally in a hard situation, I belive that before anybody else has any say you should be abvle to say if you want your on or if you dont. Since you are out of jail i think that you have payed your time for your mistakes and that you deserve your son now and that even if you dont have alot of money you would know if you can and/or cant suport him it is also really important that you stand up for your rights and that you take charge and you talk to your local police that you need some imetiate help and you dont kno what to do and that your wife whos in jail doesnt want your son but you want him and that you think you should have say and that you were wondering if they could help or you can call Child Services.
I hope that you recover your problem .....
2006-09-11 11:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you visited your son since you got out of prison? If you are continuing to support him financially & visit him then you have every right to fight for custody. Contact your local legal aide office - they often provide attorneys based on your income - and explain the situation to them. They will be able to help you. Good luck! Don't take this the wrong way PLEASE but if he's been with his grandparents for 7 years are you sure that being with you would be the best thing to him since he's used to living with them? Maybe you could "share" parenting or something. Hope everything works out for you & him.
2006-09-10 03:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cant afford a lawyer then go to cab they can help you find out what you are entitled to and weather or not you can get your child back and as for being a bad parent well if you were that much of a bad parent you wouldnt be trying to get the best outcome for you and your child and the court needs to see the effort your putting in
xxxxxxxLots of luck xxxxxxx
2006-09-10 03:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by sawsy20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are such things as public aid attorney's that work for no or low fees. Consult one. They will at least tell you what your legal rights are and if they can help you. It is a wonderful thing that you want to fight for your son, even if you don't get custody, you will most likely get visitation rights and that could mean the world to your child.
2006-09-10 03:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford a lawyer how then can you afford a child?
how can you pay it if you don't have it,you go to legal aide and ask for help if your state has it there,and ask them to help you get child custody through them.
you must show that you work and can make the money to which you can support him and you,
or if not you will lose the custody of your son.
2006-09-10 03:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that ought to rely on the birthparents. The adoptive mum and dad and them could have see eye to eye on alot of themes to be certain that it to paintings out to be a delightful relationship. if that is so then i think of an open adoption is a surprising element. a newborn by no skill could have too lots love!
2016-11-07 00:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋