I married my husband 4 yrs. ago. We were "together" for 5 years before that. Living each in our own homes. Second marraige for both. His children (4) grown ages now 21-33, had moved out, were out of the picture, and had very little communication with dad. Now, they are coming around all the time, and they totally hate my guts. I have no idea how to handle this. He had been divorced from the 1'st wife for 11 years before we even met, so that is not the issue. These "children" are really causing friction. Any idea's?????????
2006-09-10 02:53:30 · 9 answers · asked by mcghankathy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The problem here is respect. These ADULTS have never been taught respect. The first answer you received was very good and insightful, but lacked the respect key. Your husband and you can't not change how his ADULT children behave, but it speak volumes about how their mother raised them. You and your husband can change how you allow them to treat you and your union. You can tell his children when they disrespect you, that you will consider treating them like children when the act the like. If they can't respect their father's wife (and the two shall become one) they are disrespecting him. He should be more of a man to protect your honor.
2006-09-10 03:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have children that are close to you and your husband? Maybe his kids are a tad bit jealous? You know-I don't really want to have anything to do with him, but I don't want them to either-that type of thing. If not, maybe they are upset that they are not number 1 priority in Daddy's life anymore (whether they came around or not-there was no one else that was his family) I think you should definitely NOT try to stay out of the picture when they are there. You ARE family now whether they like it or not. Suggest to your husband that you should plan family things a weekend or a day every other weekend or whatever and do something all together. Make it something all would like-even if it's just a barbecue. Maybe if you plan things on certain days, they won't show up there all the time. Also suggest to your husband that you like family stuff, but you also need some time for you two to be alone. Maybe you should plan a few road trips for you and hubby.
2006-09-10 03:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by bnthere 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about the situation,how you feel about things don't say noting bad about them or he make get the wrong idea, ask him to give you your righfull place and ask them to respect you and his wishes, for you are the one he pick to spend his life with and he love you, and he's the one that live with you not them, and he's not divorcing you for them ,that his heart has enof love for everybody,that he want to live a peaceful life with you can they respect that.
2006-09-10 03:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by lilymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they were going to hate anyone thier dad married ... it seems to be in our genes ... and their mothers poisioning ... i would just be yourself around them and since they are old enough not to need "daddys" help, don't let them get between you & your husband ... it's probably also hard that he's happy while their mother may not be ... don't let them cause friction ... they will win in the long run if you let them bother you!!
2006-09-10 02:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are adults now and should be living their own lives. Sit down with your husband and talk to him. Explain to him how you feel ..good luck
2006-09-10 03:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by shelshe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre the 2nd wife and not the mother of those kids. they belong to him. just go out somewhere or go somewhere different in the house.
2006-09-10 02:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by jon k 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take your huband in to confidence and tell them not to disturb you too often.
2006-09-10 02:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by openpsychy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when his kids visit their dad, you should just go out somewhere till they leave.
2006-09-10 03:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk him about this ask him why
2006-09-10 02:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋