my three year old son hates food,please help?

Question

my three year old son hates food,he doesnt want any thing,if he is not forced toeat he starve the whole day wthout food,just by drinking water.still i force or spanks sometimes,when i saw him not taking food.how should i feed my son in a halthy way.he even dont eat non veg food,veg food,nothing,he simply likes to take rice/dal or sometimes a cheese cube,that too may be with force.may be once in a week he eats food of his own without force or asks for omlette.im very much worried about his eating habit.please help mein solving this.i wanted to know how should i teach my son to drink milk own his own rather i feed him.also he doesnt sip juice from straw or glass,he just pour directly to the mouth wthout zipping.please help.since im feeding forcefully i feel ashamed,i know forcing children is not good,but i cnt see my son a day without taking food.and that too he doent obey,sometime if his toys are misplaced,i ask him to keep in place,but doesnt listen.how should teach him to obey us and

Answer 1

Well, at least he wont grow up to be a fat american.

Answer 2

You are right. Forcing your son to eat is not good. Follow your instincts on this one. Offer him a plate of food and a glass of milk at every meal. If he doesnt eat, let him be. He will eat when he is hungry. Always have water available to him throughout the day. This may be hard at first but just know that he will be ok. Children that age really do not need a lot of food.

I have a feeling that there is a lot going on in your home regarding your son. Without more information I really dont want to offer any specific advice. I can tell you, however, that hitting your child is not ok and it is never effective. Spanking doesnt solve any problem and it teaches your child to act out and to be violent when they dont like something that someone is doing.

Answer 3

I went through the same thing with my son as well. At that age all that they're interested in is playing, so makes it out to be a game. Let him decide what he'd like for dinner, and get him to help you cook it.My son is crazy about macaroni cheese, so i made a little bit and every night I'd cook it as a side dish for him- then I cut a deal with him (If he ate some vegies, he could have his mac and cheese) Also, dont make the portions too big, other wise he will become disinterested VERY quickly. If possible, dont give liquids at meal times, otherwise he will fill up. At that age THEY DO NOT LISTEN!!! My son is 4 and doesnt listen to me either. With the toy thing though, sit him down and tell him if he doesnt pick his toys up, he will lose them. When he finishes playing, remind him once to pick up his toys, if he doesnt, take them of him for the rest of the day, and the next day after that. Perseverence is the key. I only had to do this for 1 week, now as soon as i remind him, he picks them up straight away. Good luck and keep trying.

Answer 4

He using this as a control issue with you. First of all don't force him...he will eventually eat, but his will power seems to be stronger than yours when it comes to this situation.

Secondly, take him to the grocery store and ask him to help you shop - let him choose some items that he likes - then he will be more prone to eat them.

I really think this is a mental game more than him not liking food. I think you should stop making such a big deal out of it and he will too. If your family is eating dinner and he won't eat - say okay - but he has to sit at the table until dinner is over. Once he says I am not eating or refuses in some way - make one acknowledgement and then move on. Don't give him the attention - same when he does eat. You don't want to make this a focus - I believe he will eventually start eating normal and find something else to try and control the situation - like bedtime.

Answer 5

Why are you emotionally abusing this child? He is not hungry, stop force feeding him. He will eat when he is hungry. If he is growing he is getting what his body needs. The ones who have the problem here is not the child but the parents. He doesn't obey because he is three years old. It is the "terrible twos". When he does something unacceptable put him in "time out", you have to be CONSISTENT because he isn't going to stay there willingly. You have to be patient because he is only three years old and does not have the capacity to think like an adult although at this point I believe he is probably thinking more rationally than the adults in his life.

You might want to try to allow him to help with preparing the meal. Allow him to help choose the dinner menu. That sometimes sparks a child's interest in eating. But beating him and emotionally abusing him are only going to make the problem worse and in the end get CPS called in.

Answer 6

You should check with your doctor to make sure he honestly isnt getting enough food. If he will literally starve himself for days then there must be something wrong with him. Its not normal for a child to go days without food. Most will go an afternoon, or perhaps a day at the worst if theyre trying to make a point or dont feel well.

In most cases its the parent who is assume the child isnt eating at all, when in fact they have small amount of food here and there through out the day.

I'd say in this case, youve probably noticed him not eating and panicked and it resulted in a battle of wills. Or it has become such an issue to him that he'd rather not be forced into something and instead starve himself.

Either way, i'd suggest you go to your doctor about it, its just not normal behavior on either of your parts.

Answer 7

Dont give him any sugary drinks especially before meal time as this decreases appetite. Maybe take him to a playgroup where he can see other kids eating and he might copy them. If he really doesnt have an appetite take him to the doctor for a check up sometimes tonsilitis or an ear ache can decrease appetite. Doctor can also give him some medicine to increase his appetite.

Answer 8

He will eat when he is hungry. He is only three, why try to make him do chores when he can barely understand you in the first place? You expect too much from him-too soon. Let him be a kid for crying out loud. Also, spanking a kid for not eating will give him a complex and eating disorders.

Answer 9

Never force a child to eat! He will eat when hungary. If you have major concerns, take him to the doctor and get him an exam. Perhaps it is a physical problem where eating is uncomforatble. This is becoming a power struggle and you can't win. Please have your child checked by an MD and do not punish him for not eating.

Answer 10

I think you are making this a contest of wills against a 3 year old who has found that he can say "no" and that he is now an independent person, separate from his parents.

The secret is not forcing him (spanking, etc) but enticing him to eat. Let him eat the healthy foods that he likes: omelettes, cheese. Leave good food around for him to help himself to (like fruit, carrots - things you don't have to refrigerate that you can leave on the table).

When you sit down to eat, do it with an exaggerated "Mmmm, this is good." Let him come to you to try it (like Helen Keller's teacher did with her), then just offer him a bite.

There are 2 things going on that I can see. One is that your 3 year old is at an independence stage - where he wants to do things for himself, make decisions for himself. That's part of the growing up process (wait til he hits teenage years)!

Then there's the attention aspect. If you pay attention with him mainly to get him to eat - even if it is negative attention like threats and spankings - it is still attention. Little children, especially, are attention hogs. If this is what it takes to get your attention, it's what he will do.

Give him attention with other things: play games with him, praise him when he does something independent that you like, sit him on your lap and read to him (there really is no reason to "teach" a child to read; he learns best just by having the comfort of being on Mommy's lap while she reads - it really makes a big difference when he gets to school).

You are struggling with him because you don't see him as a separate little person. He will not always do what you want him to do (very seldom will, and this will continue through his life).

My children to this day will try to do the opposite of my "advice." But they are very successful grown-ups, good jobs, healthy families, with children of their own. But they are separate people and, even if I feel frustrated that they don't listen to me, I still respect and love them.

If there is something your son really likes (to eat, to do), try offering it as a reward for trying some new food, or finishing his vegetables. My daughter finally learned to tie her shoelaces when I stopped getting mad at her for it (her younger brother would actually tie them for her) and "bribed" her by offering her ice cream if she could tie them. (She did - the very next day).

Relax, and enjoy him, please. These moments when they are young and precious pass so quickly.

Answer 11

You can not force your kid to eat something.You can try to persuade him to eat some foods while playing and drink milk.You can ask your kid what kind of food he likes much.You can also give him some vitamines in syroop or pill which is good for his health.If your effort did not work it is better you consult to a doctor.