Why are people so against spanking?

Question

I just don't get it. I cant seem to find anything wrong with spanking a kid as long as they need to learn a lesson. I understand the limit of when it should be done and force needed, but there are times when nothing can work better to teach a child a lesson or prevent them from doing possibly dangerous things than to put the fear of consequence into them until they get older and learn why they shouldn't in do those things in the first place.

Me and my 3 brothers were spanked and nothing but good came of it really. Instead of ditching school 3 times a week or many other michevous things, we thought of the consequence and decided not to.

I also understand why a lot of people would prefer not to spank a child and I dont have anything against them or think my way is better, but it bugs me when I see them trying to condemn other peoples actions and forcing their views on them.

Answer 1

I agree with you.
Supernanny claims you are giving opposite signals when you spank children...but sometimes a good tannning of the hide is needed.
I work with children everyday, and I can tell you which children are punished (including spanked) at home and those who are not.
The thing is there is a difference between punishment/discipline and abuse. In today's society it seems like there is a belief that disciplining a child is abuse. It is not.
There is an old story.. "The Thief and HIs Mother"... basically it goes like this, a kid steals sometihing and instead of punishing him, his mother says "oh wonderful job" and then he steals again and she praises him agian... this goes on, and when he reaches adulthood he gets caught stealing an he is on his way to execution (it is a very old story) and the mother comes out of the crowd crying and screming "oh my poor baby, " etc... and the man says to the mother "this is as much your fault as mine, why did you not punish me when I first stole and it would never have come to this".
A lesson to be learned by all of us, indeed.

Answer 2

I agree with you.....if there are no or little consequences then it's worth doing something wrong/bad, etc. I think the shame or feeling ashamed is emotionally damaging when done to excess. That's the key....some parents don't get the idea of emotional abuse. Every parent is different and every kid is different....what's too much for one kid is not enough for another...my sister's son could have used a good spanking but my sister is not of that belief (don't know what happened there, 'cause we were both spanked as kids...myself moreso....I was the rebel...) anyway her 12 year old son is a manipulative, wise *ss and the rest of the family (except grandma) can't stand him!! He's mean, spoiled and pretends to be a 'good' kid until later we find out the 'cause of the trouble was him. I don't know how her husband puts up with her or him because he's disgusted. I agree we shouldn't force our beliefs on others but when this brat burns the house down, I don't want to hear the crying.

Answer 3

I was spanked, a lot. I was smacked around a lot to, with an open hand, but a lot of strikes. I still ditched school, smoked weed, stole candy from stores, and in general, did what I wanted. The problem was with my parents, not with discipline.

A drunken mom, and a old school union trucker step dad was pure hell, the spankings were nothing to me, except mental torture. I would not replay those memories on our kids because I got them, that's asinine. Instead, we talk, and discuss the problem, find an agreeable resolution, and abide by the final rules. ALL of us.

If the kids are misbehaving because of something we did, we will fix it, and change. For example, smoking really bothers the youngest, so I do all I can to keep smoke away from her. I usually smoke outside now and that is the solution to her attitude towards me.

I just don't see any reason to spank a child, none what so ever. If you can't be patient, and do all you can to learn to be a good parent, then the problem is probably with you, not the kids, so why punish them by using a scare tactic? Physical abuse can have long term effects as well. It just doesn't make sense, no matter how you spin it.

Answer 4

Spanking is both an action and a concept.

While I'm "for" spanking, the left agenda did teach that spanking should not be the first initial event for correcting a child.

Spanking lends itself of "... kids, do what you want.. and if you do something wrong, - I'll spank you". Which in my opinion is not the best way to raise a child, - but it is "traditional".

The left agenda, especially women, are against things they typically lose at. Such as physical "influence". This anti-violenc dogma is full of crap.

Women can dole out justice the way a man can. Social Scientist have done studies on this.

Answer 5

We all have different life experiences and because of this some
people share their views a little more passionately then they
probably should.

I was spanked a lot growing up and it didn't really work for me. I'm sure for some children it appears to work..perhaps because they're frightened of the consequences of their actions. I really
wouldn't want my children to fear me. In order to learn and grow as a person sometimes we have to learn from our own mistakes. As much as a parent usually doesn't want their child to
go down the wrong path sometimes they have to in order to learn.
I don't think spanking really serves a purpose except for the parent to feel more in control. If anyone has ever watched Nanny 911 or Supernanny they find that a lot of the parents are so frustrated because they don't know what to do other than spank
them. It's amazing that so many parents out there are really lost when it comes to disciplining their children. These shows have been a real eye opener on getting the respect you want from your children by showing them respect and not by spanking them.
I think if parent's had more patience they would sit their children down and get to know them as individual's and find out why they're misbehaving instead of rushing in to spank them. Even if a child knows why they were spanked that isn't going to guarantee that they won't do it again. Some children may have compulsions to misbehave or they may feel understood by a parent that doesn't listen to them.
I suppose spanking can be good for some children as you've found out,but it won't be good for all children. We're all different.
Talking to your child and really listening to them is always the better approach. As parents we sometimes don't do this we're quick to get onto them without knowing the reason why or find out
what really happened.
I'm with someone else who mentioned it on here...When you see an adult disciplining a child in public it really gets under your skin. The person gets a mean tone of voice and their face scrunches up it's pretty scary so you can imagine how a child would feel. That to me is bullying not parenting.


** To the person that posted AFTER me...
And if something bad had come out of it.....You would be
on here posting how wrong spanking is.

Most of us are on here posting our views based on our own
life experiences. But the reality is spanking serves no purpose
other than to intimidate a child and put them in their place to
quote someone else on here..."To show them who's boss."

Answer 6

you say spanking did you no good .. but think about it, it stopped you from doing bad things and to think of the consequences, I was spanked as a child and like you I learned right from wrong. Spanking is good for a child, especially when nothing else works and it's not violent .. it's a swat on the butt to make them realize your boss and they do what you say otherwise you get the kids we have in society now .. rude, obnioxious and spiteful. No one should force views on anyone and no one should tell anyone else how to raise or rear their children. Spanking isn't for everyone and it shouldn't be seen as violent.

Answer 7

Well my parents spanked me when i was growing up and nothing bad come out of it and the ones that don't spank there kids are the ones crying on here and TV talk shows about my 12 year old son/daughter hit me and that's the reason why the kids run the house and not the parents.

Answer 8

People who say that spanking is violence are the very parents who are destroying society by being buddies with their kids, placating their every desire, and failing to discipline them properly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a wooden spoon smacked across the buns once in a while to get the child's attention and to show them who is boss. Parents today coddle and spoil their children to the children's detriment. When the child is in charge (not the parent), the child never learns the hierarchy of society and the life lessons that come with it. They grow up unable to cope with real life because their inept parents failed to teach them to mind, be respectful and behave. Look around, folks, because you see these worthless parents and their kids everywhere, every day. Little Johnny could use a good spanking once in a while!

Answer 9

I think that Spanking is ok, as long as it is not overdone (abuse). It doesn't show that violence is ok. There are other factors involved in realtion to the acceptance of violence. The kids today in America are spoiled and get away with a lot. Time out is absurd nd taking away a kid's gameboy or whatever sometimes just doesn't send a strong enough message to the child.

Answer 10

Because people in America spoil their children. My brother and I were spanked and we came out fine. I dont have any kids myself but I would spank them. It the best way to show them discipline at a young age.