He is a complete tool and they did hook up once in high school, she is 24 now and they are best friends, I am not threatened at all by him, no reason to be. But she picked out a song for them to dance to at the wedding, a Fleetwood Mac song, SIlver Springs. It seems very inappropriate, and I am usually not the type to say anything, but I am not sure what to do...any advice would be great. Thanks.
2006-09-10 01:21:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Think if the shoe was on the other foot and this was you and your female best man? Would she have a problem with it? Damn straight, its your wedding! You need to make your feelings very clear, you dont want to look back on this day and only remembering that and how you felt, I hope all goes well, Congrats also!
2006-09-10 01:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell her how you feel. Remind her that this is your day too, not just hers. Be polite, and don't sound angry.
Then remind her that a special dance with an attendant is not a traditional wedding custom. She would not dance with a maid of honor, and you wouldn't dance with your best man. Gender is not important here. This day is about celebrating your union, not a time to honor a friend, who I might add, is already being honored by being in the wedding party.
If she wants to dance with him to that song, suggest that it be played during the "open dance" part of the reception. That way they can still dance together to a special song without making a statement with it. There will be plenty of other people on the floor, so you won't have to worry about the appropriateness of them dancing. I'm sure that you could arrange for the DJ or band to let her know when it will be played, and make sure that your bride tells her friend to save this dance for her. It could even be the first song played of the open dance, as long as it was understood that others are welcome to join in on the floor.
2006-09-10 10:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd first like to say I'm in my 50's now *CRY* and tend to be very traditional in my thoughts. But as the mother of 7 with 4 girls in the mix I feel the male honor attendent is fine. I do think that a dance song for them at the reception is a bit MUCH!! It is a day for the 2 of you to honor your new life together .. not to give honor to a friend. The bride and groom dance would be upstaged or at the very least equally staged. I oppose.
2006-09-10 02:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by Bekie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that the dance is inappropriate. The bride and maid of honour don't dance together in a wedding, boy or girl so she is making additions to the reception to accommodate a dance with him. There is NO REASON for the bride to dance with her best friend at the wedding.
Has anyone every seen a bride dance with her bestfriend? No. Sure they can fast dance etc. together but she shouldn't be including him quite so much in the formalities. '
2006-09-10 06:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first off i say congrats on ur upcoming nuptuals. next i add that u got nuthin to worry about.
her story is similar to mine. One of my best and dearest friends isa guy and i have asked him to be one of my bridesmaids. We've known each other since high school and once upon a time i hada bit of a crush on him then. But since those days we've been really great friends.
There's not a snowball's chance in hell, or mortimor- whatever ur beliefs, he and i will ever EVER be more than just friends. However we, too, do things some ppl misinterpret. For special instance- we also have a song, "Forever Young" by Youth Group (cept we changed it to 'forever friends') but the bottom line is we're friends.
There's many reasons I include him into lil things like that, one being that no matter what my future husband says, he's been my friend longer and I wont 'get rid' of him as other female friends have once a boyfriend didnt like him. It's proving to him too that he's not gonna be gone from my life cuz im sterotypically only allowed one man in my life.
Point being, their relationship isnt some kind of one- off, I'm part of a friendship like that- that is just that, a friendship. Plus, it all comes down to that she's saying 'i do' to Y O U !
Just respect their friendship, i mean, wld u b upset if her maid of honor wasa chik?
2006-09-10 03:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by rls_184 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you owe it to your fiancee to tell her how you are feeling. Explain to her, "I know the wedding is supposed to be about the bride and all but I know that I don't feel threatened by your maid of honor but you chose a song for you & him to dance to but I think that is inappropriate because it's supposed to be Our Day. I mean, it's like you two are getting married. I wouldn't usually say anything because I have no reason to be threatened by him. Saying this, I wanted to let you know how dedicated I am to you & how I felt the need to come to you. I hope you can come to a decision that will satisfy us as a couple. That's what marriage is all about."
Tell her that and I hope she understands what you're trying to say.
2006-09-10 02:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dimples 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so rude it's not even funny. YOU are the groom, SHE is the bride. YOU and HER dance, not HER and HIM! And he's the maid of honor?! Who is your best man? Can you compromise? Let her pick the best man and you pick the maid of honor. Guys can't be maids of honor. Talk to your mother and your mother will talk to her. [hopefully] Or, lay down the law, and refuse to attend the wedding if the "Maid of Honor" isn't either put as a groomsman or not in the wedding party at all.
2006-09-10 03:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of a male maid of honor if you are okay with it then that's good.
Tell her how you feel about her scheduling a song to dance with him to. While there is nothing wrong with her dancing with him, since some brides dance with many people, it is very inappropriate for her to make a production of it.
2006-09-10 07:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all they "hooked" up before. That is not a good thing. Usually the maid of honor has never seen the bride naked before. Why is she picking out a song for the two of them. If you let this happen, you will spend a lifetime of garbage like this. Put your foot down.
2006-09-10 03:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by 2fine4u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should express how you feel to her. For starters at weddings there's usually a couple's first dance with the bridal party joining in but the bridesmaids don't normally dance with the bride. To have the bride dance with someone other than the groom or her father is a bit strange and I feel disrespectful. Is she dancing with him in lieu of dancing with her father because her father is not around? Or is she just dancing with him? I would tell her that its inappropriate for her to dance with him.
2006-09-12 04:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by newjerseygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋