are there any EARLY signs of an abusive or controlling partner? i mean before they start hitting you?

Answer 1

there are many early signs. one of the first is isolation and dependency. the person tries to isolate the partner from friends and family and gain sole control over the partner.

another sign is your partner being over-jealous.
really, anything that suggests an obtuse need for power over other human beings is a strong sign...and animals too. gentle people walk gently and have respect for all life.

there is a distinct abuse cycle, once it begins. tension builds, the verbal or physical abuse accompanies an argument, turning it into a fight. then there is the cool-down stage, shortly preceding the honeymoon stage, where making up takes place. usually in an abusive relationship the problems don't get resolved--they simply get swept under the rug. screw and make up..
if you don't leave before this happens, at least make some boundaries, and be strong about them. this abuse does sneak up on you and it is very hard to get out of. let *every* man you date know that you will not accept this, period. if my man ever hit me, he would go to jail...and i would not bail him out, no matter how hard he would beg. there is *no excuse* for hitting and abuse to take place in a relationship. hit me again? back to jail...how long does he want to play?
be strong!! never fear your partner, and if you can't help it, find outside help.
ohh, i know this one all too well.

Answer 2

Does the person ease drop on your phone call? Or ask you were have you been? Then calls that person or places to if you was there? Or you tell person that you are going somewhere, Then S/he show up? does the person goes thou your stuff? Or should i say You have a Phone number in your wallet/handbag. then it is gone. then the person is Controlling. To find out if the early signs for abusive call weave.

Answer 3

Thats tricky but just comming out of that exact relationship, i may be able to help you. If you feel not worthy, not wanting to associate with anyone, just wanting to be around your partner, making him happy (even though your not) can lead to him being controlling. Not careing about you or your wishes or important things to you, thats also another sign, theyre very mild but my partner nearly killed me, and i could not see the controlling until i left...Good luck, i hope this is not the case for you.

Answer 4

Any type of control can be considered abuse, financial, what you do with your time, who your friends are, etc. If they have fits of anger you may get in the way eventually. If your relationship does not feel comfortable I would get out before it is too late.

Answer 5

When he/she HAS to know what you're doing every minute of the day. When he/she never talks about his/her past relationships. Oh, there are SO many signs. Bottom line: Do NOT wait for the first hit. This is unacceptable and you MUST run in the opposite direction, period!

Answer 6

They want to know where you are and what you are doing all the time. It creeps in little by litte so you don't realise it is happening.
Who was that on the phone?
You trust them and then they betray your trust.
I think an outsider would pick up on the signs but being in the relationship you will make excuses for his/her behaviour.

Answer 7

Probably if he/she has a temper, that would be cause for concern. One day they might lose it with you. A control freak in the early stages may always want to know where you are, what you've been doing, who you've been speaking to etc.....

Answer 8

they talk to you like you are a child. very subtly put you down to make themselves feel powerful and good. they have a real problem with the answer NO. on the other hand as well as this they do alot for you, so your love grows for them which they hope will then make it impossible for you to leave. and well they have you right where they want you
oh yes and they want to know what exactly was said in all your conversations. emails, texts etc....if you cant remember much he will assume you are hiding something...bang!

Answer 9

Look out for signs such as a man "bad-mouthing" his ex in a really spiteful way, being disrespectful to his mother or other women, even trying to compliment you by comparing other women unfavourably to you - in front of them. Look out for signs that he's belittling you - pooh-poohing your ideas, discouraging you from developing interests or hobbies, trying to stop you from seeing friends and family. It is important that a partner gets on with your family. If you know your family are OK but he refuses to be pleased with anything they say or do, then be wary of him.

If he shouts at you, bangs things around e.g. as if hitting cushions or walls instead of you, if he shouts at your pets, swears at you, if he even quietly but snidely undermines you in private or in public - he is not worth your time. A friend of mine told me how she was driving her boyfriend to the airport for a business flight and he screamed at her for stopping at a pedestrian crossing. On his return from his business trip, she never took or returned his calls again. I wish I'd been like that: remember: don't make excuses for inexcusable behaviour.

Answer 10

Aggressive and possessive behavior. Easily angered, doesn't have good coping skills, yells in your face, looks like he is going to blow, when he is angry. Having a past where he has hit other people. Grabbing you, blocking you so you can't leave. Trying to control you or your behavior.