Has anyone ever lost a parent?

Question

this could happen to me at any moment, where do you turn? What do you do with this awful anxious feeling?

Victoria and Phillip, my step dad also has cancer but mom was taken to the hospital tonight....advanced emphasema. I'm freaking out... family is of no help...

Thank you so much, Dorothy.

Answer 1

I lost my father to complications from Parkinson's. Talk with your friends and family about how you are feeling. That's what they're there for!!

Answer 2

Hi Dorothy,

My Mom died June 11. She was 82 and had had many illnesses over the past several years, beginning with lung cancer, then heart problems. What finally happened was she had a stroke just before Thanksgiving and then had a huge stroke again on Christmas eve. She never really "came to" from the 2nd stroke.

It was/is extremely tough - my husband was overseas on business and came right home but was not able to be there the first night. I got no sleep for over a week - my doc finally prescribed me Lunesta which helped.

These days it's pretty rough in the sense that I still cannot bring myself to unpack her things that I shipped back here.

HOWEVER - I am doing much better all around. Your family is probably of no help because they are going thru what you are going thru. At the same time. Do you have a best friend you can turn to? Talking helps. I was/am darn lucky to have a very supportive and kind husband.

You are in my thoughts/prayers........

PS - the "anxious" feelings? Get whatever exercise you can whenever you can get it...........

Answer 3

Vixxie, I lost both parents within 6 months of each other less than two years ago. My mother died from emphysema, too. Since you say that your family is of no help, I'd suggest you talk to teh hospital clergy or a social worker. Even if you are not a religious or spiritual person, even if you do not have a church affiliation, the pastor at the hospital will be able to give you some comfort. Just be up front with him/her about your beliefs and they will address your needs in the most appropriate manner.

Answer 4

It's scary when one day you realize that your parents won't always be here with you. You should cherish and do all that you can for them while they are. It is inevitable that we must all depart this world at some point in time, but it's hard when you're so young and I'm sure it's very frightening too. Find help from whomever you can around you. You'd be surprised at the people who pop up in times of need. If you're really scared talk to someone, your guidance counsellor, pastor, teacher, someone. They will know who to put you in touch with and sometimes being around people who are either going through the same thing, or just having someone specialized who understands what you are going through and can help you will make a world of difference to you and help you all through this.

Answer 5

I am very lucky to still have my parents.But, a month ago, I did loose someone very, very dear to me. I know exactly how you feel.All I can tell you is that if, at times, we feel that our world is falling apart, we are actually stronger than we think, and even the most insignificant things, or deeds, or distant people can give us strength. Pray, contemplate,cry and try to smile and even laugh when you can. We are not alone in our sufferings, or happiness. Look around you, try to help others and your own burden will seem to diminish.Do the things that give you pleasure, like reading, listening to good music, painting or just go walking in the park. I do not know you, so it is difficult to give you more ideas. But, what I do know for sure, is that we ALL have the same needs, and one of the most important "needs" is LOVE.

Answer 6

My dad died of Lymphoma and Leukemia when I was 17. My mom died last year of cancer, of the bone marrow. I was 41 when she died. The feelings that you are going through are normal.I found true comfort in my faith. Talk to your Priest, Rabbi, Chaplin or a hospital one. They helped me. Ask your doctor to assess you for depression. Better to have your doc recommend a good psych doc. Forget what others may think. I went, I conquered and I'm doing great. Hope you are better soon

Answer 7

It's not easy losing a parent. My mother passed away unexpectedly when I was only 8 years old. My father passed away when I was 40 and it wasn't any easier even though he had been ill for years and I knew he could pass at anytime.
Search your heart, let your feelings out to the person you trust the most with your emotions. It's not healthy to keep it all locked up inside.
Take care ....M

Answer 8

I have lost both my parents, two brothers, and two husbands. My father died of cancer. ,mother ,diabetes, one husband respiratory disease. sencond one from heart disease. I have a brother dying now from lung and brain cancer. That will be my 3rd brother. I also have cancer. What helped me out alot was reading books about what happens after death.Where do people go after death.Being a christian helped out alot. Thanking the Lord for giving me those people to enjoy and all the good memories they left me. Ask the lord to guide you thru. Contack Hospice. They can help your family out And You. Talk to your pastor. If you don't have one, You can always look one up. Keep your chin up.

Answer 9

Hello Dorothy: The worst threat doesn't really happen. We all go through death but it is better if you can accept that even when and if it must happen to someone you love, it is the beginning of something good for them; it is not the end of their existence. It is an interruption in your inter-action. It is not the end of your relationship. Pray and ask the Creator for guidance to accept what must be accepted -- and for strength and for gradual understanding.

Answer 10

My mother died two years ago. I don't know if you have any religious beliefs, but God and my family got me through it. She was ready to go, and as much as I hated it, I wouldn't wish her back for anything. She ran her race and she finished well (if you're a Christian, you'll know what that means). I will see her again some day!