Serious answers please?
2006-08-26 09:52:57 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Respiratory Diseases
I'd like to thank you all for your answers , all of you deserve the 10 points and I Sincerely thank each of you very much , you have helped a great deal more than you may know . It's nice to know there are such good people such as yourselves around for help. Your all to kind to deny any a chance for the 10 points so I must put it to a vote.
2006-08-27 07:50:29 · update #1
No i know its right on person whose dying part to create distance to save grief but it does not work in the end there will be only hurt it will hurt more then knowing the truth.I had a patient young girl 24 who was in love with a guy a family friend who loved her as much but he would distance himself from her it would hurt her alot but in the end she came to know the truth but she said she would have accepted it without wondering why there was distance when the guy loved her very much wondering if it was her fault.Would a dying person want to put distance between family/friends to save them grief when they are wondering what they did wrong hurting over it?No,let them grieve their own way it also makes it easier if the dying person were to pass away they would get closure instead of open wound.Let family friends be there love be in the last moments of person dying!
2006-08-26 09:59:16 · answer #1 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I feel it would be wrong. I just spent the past year taking care of my terminally ill Aunt and while it was difficult at times, I would not have had it any other way! 10 Years ago I went through the same thing with my Mother and again, had I not been right there with her, I would have felt horrible.
First off, why would you want to deprive your loved ones of whatever time you have left? They love you. They are going to grieve once you are gone anyway, so you won't be sparing them anything but causing more pain to them by taking yourself away from them sooner. They are also going to feel horrible that you were not with them when you passed.
Having just been through this a few months ago, my advise to you is enjoy all the time you can with your loved ones. You have the chance to be able to tell these people exactly how you feel about them before you die,(unlike someone who dies unexpectedly) so take the opportunatey to do so.
If you are up to it and able do special things with them leaving them with good and happy memories and giving yourself something to smile about also. I'm sure you could use something to put a smile on your face.
My Mom bought us cards to write us her own personal little good byes in with special memories for each person, and once she passed we found the cards. Those cards meant so much to all of us it was unbeleivable.
Once your health starts declining don't feel that you are a burden on your family. YOU ARE NEVER A BURDEN TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU! Let them take care of you and do whatever it is they offer to do as long as they can.
There are hospice nurses, I'm sure you know that already but if not please ask your Dr. about them, that will come to your home and help you and your family with whatever you need medically.
But please, don't leave your family any sooner than you have to. Like I said, they are going to grieve anyway so why take yourself from them any sooner than you have to.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and wish you and your family the best. Enjoy all the time you have left with those you love!
2006-08-26 14:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Chaddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had an uncle who never told us that the doctors told him that he was going to die in 3-6 months, and we somehow found out when he went into the hospital 4 months after this prediction was made. However, during the months we had left together, he never wanted to be around. This made us angry when we found out the situation, and then when he passed away, it just made us even more sad than the other deaths my family has had to go through.
I know the situation for you is probably a little (or maybe a lot) different, but I hope my story helps.
Just let your family know, because everyone will be happier in the end.
2006-08-26 10:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by smlybug06 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would be worse for your family if you distant yourself from them them. They would feel so heart broken it will just be so much grief for them. Why would you want to put them through that? If your dying let them cherish you and comfort you as much as they can. You wouldn't want to be away from them anyway. Your family loves you and they will be with you till the end. Please don't take that away from them. Once your gone they will grieve for you forever whether you distant yourself or not. Just be with your family and enjoy what you have left so they can carry those memories of your in there heart. I lost my father 2 1/2 years ago and I miss him so much like it was just yesterday. I will say a prayer for you. God Bless you and your family!
2006-08-26 14:52:59 · answer #4 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a little selfish and mean of you to seriously consider this. I think you can tell by the answers above that it would not in any facet, lessen their grief, and may add to it, as they would then have to deal with guilt over their anger at you also.
Leave this behavior to the lower animals.
You may, however, find that some friends/family will distance themselves from you, in their confusion and beginning stages of grief, they may not know how to handle it, and will go into avoidance mode.
2006-08-26 12:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would be selfish to not give your family the CHANCE to "see you off". Grief is a normal part of life and if you are not allowed to experience grief, you cannot experience healthy development thoughout the rest of your life. Everyone experiences it differently. It would not be right to take it into your own hands to determine what would "save" your family from a natural healing process of grief. The "saving grace" would really be in granting them the ability to grieve in their own way. Don't take it away from them. It would not be saving anyone.
2006-08-26 10:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by redgoddess 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh no! They are going to feel that grief regardless. But to distance yourself from them in a most critical time will only add resentment and confusion to that grief. Enjoy the time you have with them, down to the very last second. Give them wonderful memories to treasure, not pain and doubt and guilt! They will spend the rest of their lives wondering what they did to push you away. Please don't do that to them. Cherish what time you have, whether its a year or fifty years. Life is too short under any circumstances.
2006-08-26 09:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by Emm 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nothing will save them from grieving for you. The best thing you can do is to spend as much time with them as possible. If you distance yourself, they may hurt even more. Spending time with them gives them a chance to say goodbye. They will grieve less if they get that chance.
2006-08-26 13:47:09 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wrong to distance yourself because that only makes things worse. That is time that your family missed out on and they need it to say good-bye. No matter what you do they still will have grief over losing their loved one, that will not change.
2006-08-26 10:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would MAKE them be around me all the time. They will get much more grief if they don't know and you die than if they did know and got to spend your last days with you. They love you, remember that. You would want the same thing if one of your loved ones were dying.....so return the favor. Hopefully you are not dying though....good luck though
2006-08-26 09:56:36 · answer #10 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋