I decided to become a vegetarian.....?

Question

A friend of mine knows this, but when she invites me over for dinner, she always has a meat as the main dish. I don't want to be rude, but I don't think that she takes my vegetarianism seriously. And if she invites me over for dinner, I don't want to refuse the meal and be rude. What should I do?

Answer 1

If you are gonna be true to your friend, eat what's put in front of you. However, if you wanna be true to YOU, and that is always more important, tell your friend that while you love her friendship, you need to have the option of not eating meat.

Answer 2

I have several vegetarian friends, and I say meet in the middle. I provide a salad, bread, two veggie options (usually one being a casserole), a fruit, and a wonderful desert. IF I think I can make a meal of the other things on the table, then damn straight main dish is meat. To expect me to only serve veggies is not very fair. If your friend isn't so generous with the veggie fare, then offer to bring a dish, something you really like and you are garaunteed a something you can eat and enjoy!

Answer 3

You'll just have to get used to this one. I've been veg for 20 years and most everyone I know knows it. Some people go far out of there way to make sure I'm accomodated and some "forget" about it entirely. Usually you can just eat everything but the meat without even drawing attention to yourself. Part of being a good hostess is to make sure guests are well taken care of, but your friend might just find your vegetarianism challenging; she may not know how to plan a menu that works for everyone she's invited. In turn, it's not exactly polite of a guest to complain about the meal. Take a larger serving of salad, etc. and if anyone asks, you can tell them you're a vegetarian without making a big deal out of it. If she's a close friend you might want to talk to her between dinner parties and just tell her you feel awkward about the situation and that you'd love to bring something that would complement her menu next time around. (For example, I went to Thanksgiving at a friend's house, knowing she was doing turkey and all teh trimmings, so I brought stuffed acorn squash... it fit in with the menu perfectly and while I ate it as my main dish, the others had it as a side dish with their turkey and everyone was happy.)

Answer 4

If you want to become a veg. this is something you'll have to get used to. Now since she's your friend, I don't know why she's being inconsiderate to you, that is weird to me. However, the same way you think she's inconveniencing you by making meat, she probably feels inconvenienced that you expect no meat. My opinion is that you as the veg., (especially since you decided to change over), should eat just the non-meat side dishes. Expect this to happen many places & maybe bring granola bars. I don't know what kind of friend this is, but if I knew my friend was a veg. I would certainly consider that in planning the meal. Now, larger gatherings you may find meat as the main dish, hopefully none of the side dishes have meat also. I think the hostess would be more embarassed that you can't eat the food, than you would be by opening a granola bar at the table. Good luck!
p.s. I don't see what the big deal is. This is no different to me than if my friend didn't like seafood. I simpy wouldn't make seafood that night!

Answer 5

Remind her that you are a vegetarian before she invites you over for the next meal.
When you are invited again, let your friend know you are going to bring something for the meal. This way if you show up & she has cooked meat, you will have something vegetarian to eat.

** p.s I think it's pretty rude that she knows your vege. but still cooks meat when you come over. If she is inviting you, she should respect your decision.

Answer 6

WHen she invites you over, remind her that you are a vegetarian. If you get there and there is no food for you, why would you want to keep her as a friend? She obviously feels that your personal decisions are worthless and she doesn't respect you enough to try and be nice. Why worry about being rude? If she's doing it on purpose, that's not much of a friend. Sorry.

You can let her off the hook by asking her if you can bring your own vegetarian entree so that she doesn't have to cook for you. Tell her it's no problem and that you want to enjoy her company, but you don't want her to have to worry about making a separate meal for you. This way you know what you are getting and she won't try to 'sneak' any meat into your meal.

Good luck to you. : )

edit - sg, you are a moron. If a jewish person came over who doesn't eat pork, are they sanctimonious? If a Christian came over who actually follows the word of the bible and doesn't eat certain meats, is that arrogant? If a friend came over who is allergic to peanuts, is that being whatever rude ans insulting words you said? Of course not. SOme people actually enjoy pleasing their friends. Just because you are not one of them. . .

Answer 7

You need to explain to her how seriously you take being a vegetarian, and why. Bring it up BEFORE she invites you to dinner again, so she doesn't feel obligated to make something extra when she has already cooked meat.

Or if you want to be more subtle, next time she invites you over for dinner, ask if you can bring something to share with everyone. Make a vegetarian dish (enough for everyone) and a dessert. Then while you're eating, eat what you've prepared and whatever vegetables or side dishes she's prepared.

Answer 8

One possibility would be to eat something beforehand to tide you over a bit. There's nothing wrong with just working on the side dishes at supper.
If she says "why aren't you having some of the beef?" just say politely "I'm enjoying the other items, just fine. Where _did_ you get this marvelous bread?"
Maybe you can invite her over for dinner, and serve some vegetarian dishes. (Do you eat eggs and/or dairy? She may be completely clueless about what to serve you, and this can give her a few hints. Or perhaps she'll ask for that wonderful vegan lasagna recipe....)
If you think she's not clueless, but just uncaring, have "other plans", but suggest you could stop by for coffee and dessert later.

Answer 9

Why do vegetarians feel that we should have to cater to their irritating and sanctimonious habits? There's a question for you! If you invited your friend over for dinner, would she get all bent out of shape because you did not serve meat? Probably not. So why should you get your knickers in a twist because someone who eats meat is, oh my god, serving meat!

The problem is that you do want to be rude, and the issue is not that your friend takes your vegetarianism seriously, but that you take yourself way too seriously. Did it ever occur to you to bring your own little nasty tofu mess? Or would that deprive you of an opportunity to whine?

Answer 10

Coming from another vegetarian, I know how hard it can be to refuse a friend or relative's meal. However, my Italian grandmother doesn't respect my family's vegetarianism either. If you say that you can't come over if there is no vegetarian option, a true friend would either understand or start taking you more seriously.

Answer 11

When you are invited, tell your host or hostess that you are vegetarian and unable to eat meat. If the person still serves meat at the meal, you can and should feel free not to eat the meat portion of the meal, and you will NOT be being rude. Your hostess/host should be accommodating her/his guest, and since you notified the person beforehand, she/he has no excuse for not doing so. Good luck!!

Chow!!