I bought a few live hens recently. I want to eat one now I have guests, but how do I choke the chicken?

Question

My parents are likely to be watching so I want to look professional as well as humane.

Answer 1

You know, you should probably check Eck's answer to SilentRunning's question about Meat Tenderizing. You could probably pick up a few tips. Eck seems to be quite the expert in these matters.

And really, you should do this away from your parents' eyes. Parents are quite squeamish about watching their children perform these kinds of acts. With your parents out of the way, you can handle it gently and take your time with it, or you can be rough & quick.

But if it helps to have someone there, give me a call. Call me crazy, but I never tire of watching.

Answer 2

I believe that entertaining the guest before the meal would be most stasifactory. You should choke the chicken in front of them and maybe invite some of your guest to help. All you have to do is explain to them that they need to use gentile pressure with thier hand so that the chicken does not expire before all have a turn at it. This would be the most professional way to treat your guest, but do not expect your parents to join in. They may in fact feel a little uncomfortable when your plan is exposed.

Answer 3

You don't choke a chicken. You need to cover its eyes with a cloth to calm it down and place its neck on a board, have a big sharp knife ready then chop off it's head. You will find that the chicken will still move once the neck has been cut but this is normal. then you are ready to pluck it etc.

You cannot make a chicken killing humane unfortunately as this is the best way to do it. Best advice is to keep the chicken calm with the cloth over it's eyes. To make it look professional don't panic, if you are squeamish let somebody else do it.

You need to tell the people who will be watching what your about to do and if they do not wish to watch to look away or go to another part of the house.

hope this helps.

Answer 4

It's just as well my family used to own a farm... you grab the chicken from behind and break the neck with your bare hands.
If you want humane, how about using your tie? As a professional, you are bound to wear one and I'm sure you have great taste, so the hen will only be a victim of fashion.

Answer 5

The quickest and easiest way (and most humane) is put your foot on their head, grab their legs and pull. I helped my grandma clean chickens in the spring and we'd kill about 100 at a shot that way..

Or grab them by the head and start swinging them as if you are going to hurl them holding the head tight, just spin them as if they are an old style sling to heave rocks with.

If you've not done it before practice with a rope with a soft rubber toy ball that has a hole in it, tie a small knot on the rope, after you've pushed it through the hole in the ball.

If your inclined to make a theatric production of it, get a stump of a log, put two nails close enough together to hold their heads tight.. Get a sharp ax, put the chicken's head / neck between the nails and use the hand axe to remove the head.

Answer 6

Well I wouldn't know how to kill a chicken humanely but Slim knows how to do it. As for people watching, it might be diffucult to eat the chicken after seeing it being killed in front of them. And I did take the question wrong at first.. but I'm sure I'm not the only one with a dirty mind. ;)

Answer 7

you have to hang the bird up by it's feet than cut his neck let the blood drain than pluck the bird, chop it's claws off and head, then pull all his insides out than wash inside. Leave in a cooking pan for a while and go wash down the mess. Put chicken in oven fresh range chicken coming up.
(if you can't stomach this buy one from a butchers)

Answer 8

Put a bow tie round your chickens neck. Remember to smile while your choking it.

Answer 9

if you want to be humane, really, this isn't time for a learning curve. then once you kill it, have you any idea how to pluck it or gut it? that's the hard part.
there are lots of places where people go to pick out a chicken and have it slaughtered on the spot. ultrafresh. maybe call them and ask!!

Answer 10

Chop its head off and then hang it upside down. (Outside of course.) Pluck the feathers then take the guts out. cook it and decorate it. Voila! A nice hommade chicken!