Onions & Christmas Trees !!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice

all the different kind of boobs?"



Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be

normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of breasts depending on

a woman's age.. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like

melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like

pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."



"Onions, Dad?"



"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry."



Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many

kind of weenies are there?"



The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well,

daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's

twenties, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his

thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his

fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."



"A Christmas tree?"



"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration

Answer 1

LOL. Funny.

Answer 2

Because I Am a Man !!!




Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it . . . though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. (applies to engineers mainly)
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.

Answer 3

Becuz I am a man, I'll accept your ridicule with good grace, yet continue to tell you how desirable you are and attempt to make you laugh, anyway!

Answer 4

Very Funny!!

Answer 5

Well, that was a nice one... but we're all going to be like that someday.

Answer 6

I'd be laughing if I wan't so grossed out

Answer 7

haha but its only the truth lol ♥

Answer 8

that is very funny i love sexual humor keep it up that is a great joke :)

Answer 9

(a little miniscule haha for that) haha

Answer 10

truth well said