Is bed sharing bad? Does it produce children who are more spoiled or dependant?

Question

What about little girls sharing a bed with their daddies?

Answer 1

Once begun, it's a rather hard habit
to break, so consider the following before you allow your child to start sharing your bed:

Your child doesn't need to share your bed to be secure and happy.
Children's fears and insecurities can be dealt with in other ways.

Bed-sharing is not quality time. If your child is asleep in your bed, it is a neutral time.
If your child is crying and keeping you awake, it is an aggravating time.
Several studies have shown that more than half of the children who sleep with their parents resist going to bed and awaken several times during the night.
Most parents who
share their beds have to lie down with their child for as long as 30 to 60 minutes to get them to sleep. Most of these parents don't get a good night's sleep and become sleep deprived.

Sleeping with your child is a bad choice if you are a light sleeper and you need your sleep to work well during the day.

Bed-sharing is never a long-term solution to sleep problems. Your child will not learn to sleep well in your bed and then decide on his own to start sleeping in his own bed.
With every passing month, this habit becomes harder to break. Your child can no longer sleep alone.

There is no evidence that bed-sharing produces children who are more spoiled or dependent.

Answer 2

We co-slept with both our kids. Our daughter (16 months) is still in our bed now. It's going to be a HARD battle when we go through it again.
It takes a long time to get them comfortable being alone, because they depend on you to comfort through the night. But seriously, your kids are that little for how long? Of course there should be a time when you stop sharing beds with your kids. And my son was out at 15 months, daughter will be out at 17 months, after we get home from vacation. It does need to stop or there could be some glitches in the end.
About spoiling, well, my kids are just spoiled in general...so I can't really answer that! :) They do become dependant while cosleeping, but they soon get over that and learn to deal by themselves.
Either way, cosleeping is a great way to bond with your kids as long as you are safe about it. (pillows, down comforters, etc.)
Hope I helped. :)

Answer 3

I don't think bed sharing by itself can make a child more dependant or spoiled. If the parent spoils the child, that is why they would be spoiled. I think sometimes bed sharing is a lazy choice, because the parent would rather bring the child to bed with them, than to teach the child that sleeping in its own bed is ok and not scary. Sharing a bed (2 siblings) can be very annoying. My sister and I shared a bed at our Dad's house and it always drove me nuts. I hated when she'd cuddle against me all night. I think unless the child is sick or had repeated nightmares that night, there is no reason for a child to be in its parents bed. I'm a light sleeper and just couldn't take even my newborn in the bed with me for more than a week. But I think it does the child alot more good to sleep by themself than with parents. My kids never were scared of the dark. My youngest two never gave me bed time tantrums as young children because they were training from the start to sleep in their beds at night. You cannot bond with someone at night if you are both sleeping.

Answer 4

Im a bed sharing mom. I have 3 kids. I kicked my oldest out when she was 4. I cant get rid of the 5 year old and the 2 1/2 year old is still there too. It is a major security issue when they get older as you can tell with me still having two in my bed. I SOOOO WANT MY BED BACK! It makes a sexual relationship with my husband hard. Im tired of sneaking into other rooms just to be intimate with my husband. I dont recomend doing this but I was a breast feeder and it was just easier at night to lay them beside me leave a breast exposed so they could latch on when they were hungry. I suppose I was a lazy mother at night. But I needed my sleep to.

Answer 5

NO, its not "bad". They grow out of it eventually. A child is a child, gender is not important to them. Dad is another "safe place." Been there done that. I was a solo dad with a daughter. Where else is she gonna go when she's scared at night? She only grew out of it when she was 11 too, but she's a pretty confident and self reliant individual now. So I think the answer to both your questions is no. Most westerners are way too uptight about this stuff. Kids are happier if they feel secure. Leaving them to cry in the dark can damage them. If you have kids you gotta be there for them. If you are scared of being sleep deprived you shouldn't have kids. Nature tells us to hold onto the kids until they get down and walk away of their own accord. That is the only sure way to build a secure individual. They make their own moves when they are ready. I don't expect mainstream westerners to understand this as it comes from "aboriginal" lifeways and has nothing to do with western angst and general divorce from nature.

Answer 6

I think kids should sleep in their own beds, I think its OK sometimes, like if they have a bad dream or something, but it is a hard habit to break and it does make them more dependant on you. I started that with both my kids and it broke my heart to hear them cry when it was time for them to sleep in their own room(bed), but it had to be done, so to keep from going through what I did, I suggest you stop and ween them to sleeping in their own rooms.

Answer 7

Our daughter never wanted to sleep with us. When she wants to sleep with her daddy, I see it as completely healthy and she will be 2 this month. I slept with my daughter while nursing, but babies need to be sleeping on their own for the sake of their parents' relationship and their own growth. Definetly you should lean towards self sufficiency of the child, involving a warm, nurturing bed time... i.e. stories, singing etc and they will feel secure in their own bed without mom and dad. If your little girl naps with daddy occasionally it's fine. If your little girl only sleeps with daddy every night, perhaps their is a dependancy issue. Maybe mom needs to spend more quality time with the child.

Answer 8

Sharing a bed once the child is past the age of 4 or 5 months- or when its stopped bottle or brest feeding- the child needs to be put into s/his own room, Period

Answer 9

My little girl has always shared our bed. She's 7 she has her own room and her own bed. and has always had the option to sleep anywhere in the house she chooses. She has experimented and of coarse sleeps in her room with sleep overs, but still finds herself comfortable with us and so do we after all the weirdos out there.She will know when she's ready, and like I said anywhere in the house she chooses next to the dog.

Answer 10

Co-sleeping is not good. Do some research on it. Even Dr. Phil did a show on it last season, dispelling myths about it. Children need to learn how to sleep on their own, it fosters independence, and a better relationship between the husband and wife.