more help with asking out a girl?

Question

im kind of insecure and have never asked out a girl (im 16) and i want to ask out this girl im in a play with (also 16) but my best friend (also in the play and also 16) once said he thought she was cute, before he knew i had a crush on her. i told him i liked her, and he said thats fine he doesnt like her he just thinks shes cute. he then came to me recently and said he asked her if she liked me and she said no. my friend is usually trustworthy, but i dont know if he is telling the truth about asking her that or not. the girl hasnt treated me differently at all since then. my question is should i try to ask her out or should i just give up and forget about it?

Answer 1

ask her out. the worst that could happen is that she'll say no.

Answer 2

At your age, it might be a bit soon for the moment to be thinking about being more than friends with anyone. Being more than friends definitely is a step down a path whose logical conclusion is a relationship of a type so close that it cannot be broken up without serious damage to both parties. There will be heartbreak - if there isn't, it's a sure sign that the ability to love and give of oneself has been destroyed.

This tends to imply that a permanent relationship is a necessity for such a close connection. So it makes sense to set foot on that path only when you are ready to have a permanent relationship. Some things to think about:

1. Are you in a position to really put someone first - even above Mom and Dad, above everyone and everything except God?

2. Are you able to take 100% responsibility for your decisions and actions?

3. Are you independent from your parents?

4. Are you in a position to make a permanent commitment to one person, in front of other people so you're accountable?

If not, I think it would make a lot of sense to keep your relationships platonic until the answer to all of those questions is Yes, AND you have found that right person and are 100% sure you are going to spend your life with her. In other words, at very least until you are engaged.

I know this may sound strict, but think about the good that comes of it if you do things this way: you spare yourself a lot of temptation and trouble, because you are then choosing to purposefully focus on doing what needs to be done to make a good and lasting relationship. And if, God forbid, your partner doesn't do the same (after all, you cannot control another person's behavior), then at least you have a clear conscience.

So, what are your options then? You can put your focus on spending time in groups. Get a bunch of friends together to go out and do something fun, preferably in a place where conversation is possible (the movies are not so great in this regard, unless you combine them with dinner before or after). An odd number of people so you don't get that 'Noah's Ark' effect (you know, the animals walking into the Ark two by two...).

And invite her to take part in the proceedings. This gives you a way to break the ice and get to know her better in a low-pressure situation. Then if you later find there are things you want to talk about together which are not suitable for public consumption, then you can always suggest spending time alone together in circumstances conducive to private conversation.

Hope this helps - may God bless you!

Answer 3

dont believe in your friend...

its more important that the girl you both like decides on who she really feels special, or just basically whom she likes...

otherwise, make a move to ask her out...if she refused, then it could be a sign of regret that she might not like you...

Answer 4

bite the bullet and ask her out. and dont be upset if she says no, just smile because she gave u an answer.

Answer 5

ohhh...tough spot that you are in...well, I think u should ask her out as a friend for coffee...just to chill...and the see the vibes from there...