How do you conquer a pattern of speaking negative thoughts?help ?

Question

It has been expressed to me by a friend that when he solicits my opinion I am responding 99% negativley and don't express other aspects. Example when friend stated he desired to leave job to start own business I sought to persuade him to keep f/t position and pursue owning a business p/t. We do not share home nor do I rely on him financially. Quite the contrary. He has left f/t position is desiring that I be his monetary source until his business profits pick-up. This has become a deal breaker. I do think his business is a timely endeavor but poor planning on his part.

Answer 1

This is a classic guilt trip. His accusations are a power play to get his way and have you support his ***. This is a patently bad move. This guy sounds like a real user. Avoid this "friend" like the clap because if he was a real friend he wouldn't impose on you like that.

Answer 2

In business pessimists are are real problem and a real help at the same time. Pessimism and negativity can impact an otherwise perfectly healthy team or relationship, leading to resentment from the optimist (in this case your friend), no one likes to have 'water poured on their fireworks'. However it's worth remembering that pessimists often see the problems with an idea that optimists can easily overlook, and when phrased objectively in the nature of constructive criticism can be highly useful.

The only way to break the pattern of negativity is to identify the root source of it, understanding why you or your subject is negative - it could be negative past experiences, lack of self-esteem or just that you've been negative for so long it's become part of your make-up. The key to stopping verbalizing negative thoughts is to be more self-aware and catch yourself before you say it. This is difficult to start with and a real conscious effort is required on your part. However with time it will become second nature not to speak negative thoughts and you'll probably find you enjoy life and your relationships much more.

Finally don't be too hard on yourself - we are all at times negative and it's really just a shift in thinking that makes a pessimist into an optimist. "Nobody knows enough about the future to be an pessimist".

Best of luck with it.

Answer 3

Is your question about negative thoughts, or about a business decision? Just joking. If you are concerned about expressing negative thoughts most of the time, it seems you are just looking at things in one way only, such as the worst that can happen. Before you speak, try to look at both sides of a question, and answer a person like "In this business venture, it may be a timely endeavor but poor planning, however, it may very well be the exact right time to make a move, however risky it may be." If you phrase your replies like this, they will be more helpful than just giving your opinion of the bad things that might happen.

Answer 4

Don't do it. Don't ever borrow $ to family or friends...unless you don't like them that much to begin with, then it won't bother you too much when they don't/can't pay :)
But you don't have to be negative about it. No one likes to be around someone who squashes their dreams or makes them feel worse about themselves after time spent with that person.
...so tell him how MUCH you believe in him and his potential and express your confidence in his ability. Tell him you know he is going to be great and that you admire his courage.
And then...tell him the name of a good loan officer that might be able to fund his new endeavor :)
Seriously.
Good luck!

Answer 5

of course you're negative. you told him no. it's a hackers attempt to get what he wants.

follow your gut. you're about to be manipulated.