How should one feel when....?

Question

growing up having no father, and later told that he was a crack dealer and probably is dead or locked up?

Answer 1

Well, do you know if whoever told you this, is any of it true? Obviously, the person who told you has been protecting you from the possible harm. Maybe whatever it is that your father had done wasn't something your family is proud of. So maybe not knowing him was for the better??
We don't live in a perfect world, and I am sorry that you realized that a long time ago. But be happy that you are surrounded with love and care by those around you. That is what counts the most.
And whatever that doesn't break you only makes you stronger.

Answer 2

It is okay to feel sorrow that you did not know your dad and that he is not a nice person. However, you can be thankful that he wasn't around beating you or your mom or exposing you the a drug dealer's lifestyle. Do you have a father figure in your life whom you can look up to? (Maybe a grandfather or an older friend?)
Just to tie up the loose ends in your life, you may want to find out for sure what happened to your father. It is good do know his medical history because it could affect yours and there is also a possibility that you have siblings out there somewhere.

Answer 3

It's already hard to grow up without a father, and then learning he was a criminal doesn't make it better. I can only say that if you possibly can, try to be the man that he couldn't be. There is at least something worthwhile in everyone, and it's worth every effort you can make to find it in yourself. Your best character may come as much from him as from your mother's side, but it's up to you to make it your strength. Be the best part of your family.

Answer 4

You should feel grateful that you have a mother that has tried to protect you. Sad for not having a father figure. Happy that you have made it through another day. Put it all in your past and and make the world jealous of your future achievements

Answer 5

don't feel bad at all you keep growing up, and be the best you can be . so when the people see you that told you all of this, thay can only say that's doctor so and so.that will remove all the bad things that was said about your father. you do good for yourself. and don't hide the truth.you should still have love for your dad where ever he is,your obligations for another is you don't own them anything.

Answer 6

He was just a "sperm donor"
Your mother protected you from him. Yay for her.
Still it has got to be a shock and feel very sad.
Grieve not having a healthy father in your life, then concentrate on the positives in your life.
If you want to, it could be helpful to talk with someone you trust about it.

Answer 7

A father like that is not a real father - so better off never knowing him

Answer 8

if he's locked i would go look for him am sure he needs support and help...i would tell him that what u have done to me was so wrong...but if he's dead i'll just think that i don't wanna end up like him..i might pray for him..and learn something from his life. and remmeber that if your dead wasn't your dead u might not be the same..the way you are..

Answer 9

i'm right with u man, my father is the *exact* same way. i know how u feel. but u know what, a father like that isn't a real father at all. so don't worry about it. i don't. u'll be fine, as long as u have others around u.

Answer 10

you are probably better off with out him. Your mother probably saved your life by keep him away from you.