My lover's health problem....I need help!?

Question

My boyfriend called me to do that he was told he was mildly agoraphobic, and if he didn’t do well on these medication he’s taking, then he will have to be put into the hospital. It was a shock for me. I love this man, he’s a great guy. I have known he is paranoid around large crowds since we started dating. Lately, He has gotten worse. He won’t leave the house with me to go shopping. If he does go he flips out and runs out the store, in tears. I feel bad, because I can tell he wants to go out and he talks about taking me out if he could. I don’t know how to help him. I want to help him the best way I can. Any advice or tips to make it easier on him and me.

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel as my ex wife was the same way and it played havoc with going out, even to the bank or shopping. You have to either do things yourself, have more visitors to your house and party there or try the age old hard way to get him to change.....walk out on him and watch and see if he braves the outside world just for you and forgets the phobia.
It is a very bad phobia and unfortunately medication just slows a person down and really makes them stay at home because they don't feel like going anywhere.
I guess if you love him heaps you will work around the problem and maybe go out where there aren't so many people.
All the best to you and your guy.

Answer 2

He needs to see his dr if he hasn't already. He's afraid of flipping out in public with out any way to leave the situation, and his history shows that he's convinced he's GOING to every time he goes anywhere. Coax him into taking short walks around the neighborhood a few times each day. Go to a coffee shop during a quiet time. He will start to build confidence that a panic attack is not imminent just because he's left his home.
I had this while suffering a severe bout of bipolar/ depressive phase. I just had to take baby steps, and without my hubby to walk beside me I probably would be dead. Stay with him if you choose. You could learn a lot from yourself...

Answer 3

suggest that if he wants to go to a doc. and get help YOU will be right there by his side. that no-matter what you will always love him.
i too don't like large crowds, it is from the abuse i received as a child. maybe he has past child abuse that is surfacing, if so running sure doesn't help, it follows.
try to get him to talk to you. just sit and listen. tell him when or if bad things come up that it was not his fault.
sounds like he runs out from stoes for probably the same reason idid. he feels others are looking at him and know his past. io guess it could be called paranoid.
just stand by your man give him the support and love he needs and in time things will start to get better

Answer 4

Agoraphobia is a panic disorder where a person is afraid to be in places where they can not escape or where one can not get help when needed.

Psychiatric drugs such as SSRI’s and benzodiazepines can be effective when treating agoraphobics who also experience panic attacks. Treatments tend to be more effective when combined with behavioral therapy.

Systematic desensitization can also be effective. This approach involves gradual exposure to real-life feared situations

Answer 5

I'm very sorry for both of you, that's got to be really hard to live with.

Unfortunately he really needs psychological help and if his meds aren't helping than maybe a short 72hr evaluation hold might help his doctors to know how to treat him better.

It's going to be a very long and hard road, if you're up for it, then all the best to you! Be strong, be loving and let him know you support him and only want what's best for him so that he can get the care he really needs.

Agoraphobia is a really difficult disorder to treat. Much love to the both of you.

Answer 6

i think you can try going for a walk with him first
not going to places where there are many people or go shopping with him
phobia is difficult to deal with
I have phobia on oranges
I can choose not to eat oranges but perhaps your lover can't choose not to go out ....just stay with him and encourage him to step out

best wishes to u and your lover~

Answer 7

There are a few treatments that really nail phobias:

TIR(tir.org)

Though field therapy

EMDR

Neuro linguistic programming

and if all else fails Hypnosis.

Answer 8

that's a horrible phobia...a friend of mine had it (though it wasn't so serious) she was very fat and she couldn't travel because she feared of people's reaction when seeing her. so she went to a shrink, started to write (prose) and when she was recognized as a good prose writer, her problems stopped. good luck with your friend...make him feel comfortable with himself.