My boyfriend is away in Iraq and he is being so distant and all. He calls 3x a week and hardly ever emails. He is on the computer daily. I need companionship and attention. I am thinking of taking up with an old bed buddy. Is it wrong to desire human attention? Is it wrong to be wanted and feel wanted? Its been 6 months.
2006-08-14 19:32:13 · 21 answers · asked by kitty cat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First it is not wrong to feel wanted nor is it wrong to desire human attention.....
All humans desire companionship and attention, in some way shape or form.....
I have not been with another in 8 years
so when you say its been 6 months, I definately know where you are at.....
This is only my opinion about your question.....
If you truely desired to be with your B/F and expect to have a good relationship with him, then just say no to the bed buddy
But givin the info with your question I would say you have to listen to your heart....
Is some pleasure that your current B/F may never find out about, worth the guilt that you will have to live with????
You don't seem to be engaged so some will say your fair game....
But any real man that would love you the way you probably wanna be loved would never sleep with a woman in a relationship .......
If you find your current B/F isn't the 1 you desire then at least take the time to let him know before sleeping with another.....
I am sure you would want the same consideration........
Good Luck Let Your Heart Be Your Guide
2006-08-14 19:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Larry 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It means you're not being faithful to him. By bunking with said "bed buddy", it means that the relationship and feelings that the soldier in Iraq had for you means nothing to you, because right now it seems all you really want to care about is yourself.
From what you said, it seems that the soldier really does care about you. If he's calling you 3x a week, and phone calls can sometimes be hard to get when a soldier is deployed. I know cause I've been sent overseas before when I was a soldier, and unfortunately didn't have anyone waiting for me back home (Actually, I did, and I called/sent stuff to her, but then found out later from her friend she wasn't interested in me any longer, which made the rest of my time there suck a lot. I wish she had just told me instead of making me wonder why she never answered my calls or responded to my emails/letters).
If you really do love this soldier, then I would say stick it out and stay loyal to him. By doing that, it'll show that you really do care about him, and those kinds of relationships can often be the strongest ones. Plus, when he does come back home, he'll be very happy to see you, and I'm sure you'll feel the same way. He won't be gone forever, so waiting a little longer shouldn't kill you.
If you're going to go with an old bed buddy though, you might as well break it off with him, cause he's not going to want someone who'll cheat on him (yes, I'm probably simplifying, but try to look at it from his point of view. Would you want someone who was waiting for you to pick up someone on the side to have fun with till you came back?)
What you do now is up to you. I've given the best advice I can, coming from a former soldier who's also been in a situation like your boyfriend. I'm sure you're probably one person he's really counting on to carry on his mission there, so you should provide him with hope and love, and not one of those women who writes gives a "Dear John" letter/email/phone call to them.
2006-08-15 02:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by komodo_gold 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People will tell you that it is wrong but personally i believe that it is up to you two to decide.
How would you feel about him havin a "bed buddy" over there?
How do you think he would feel about you having one?
How often do you think you will be visiting these bed buddies?
Personally I am not a fan of monogamy i think it places to much stress on relationships. I feel that the point of a relationship is to ensure happiness for each other.
So talk to him about it you might find hes keen and finds it acceptable or not. What ever his decision though you must respect his decision if you respect the relationship but at the same time he must respect your wants.
2006-08-15 02:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by brentmcassidy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what the relationship is worth to you. If he's worth waiting for, then wait. If you just know it's not worth it to you, then say goodbye. Six months is a long time, and it's not fair to him to cheat but string him along. He may be depending on you. If he seems distant, you have to remember what a stressful and difficult situation he's in. He's not there to entertain you. And by the way, "bed buddy" is a just a cute term for cheap sex. What does that make you?
2006-08-15 03:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by galaxiquestar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you supposedly love your b/f then yes its wrong to do it, but it's not wrong to want it. Of course, you have to think about what your b/f will do when he comes back. If he finds out, and usually soldiers do find out, it could be the worst thing to ever happen to you. There are many stories of soldiers coming back from Iraq and killing there wives, g/f's, and whoever they cheated on them with. For soldiers just coming back from Iraq, at the time it's not wrong to do something like that, because they just came from a completely different reality to yours. Survival is key, and the ones who are waiting for them at home are the motivation to survive. So, not only does killing you or whoever you bed with not seem to be an immoral thing for them to do, they think they are completely justified for it.
2006-08-15 02:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by socomgoat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a girl can be a great BED BUDDY so you can chat talk about whats happenning in your life and her life tell your problems or something like that, BUT if its a boy you are really cheating on your boyfriend but if this boy is a boy you really trust that won't do anything to you like sex. Then its OK,but if its not a boy you really really trust just think what will happen to you
2006-08-15 02:42:18 · answer #6 · answered by masked guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask your bf why is he so distant?I mean that's not good,and makes you feel neglected and everything...And of course there's nothing wrong to desire attention,especially from your own bf!Listen to your heart...and make a decision.
2006-08-15 05:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by ic3g7rl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there is something wrong with it. Your boyfriend is depending on you to remain faithful to him so you need to be strong and do just that. I'm sure you are lonely, but just remember it's only temporary. Be strong for your boyfriend as he is doing for you.
2006-08-15 02:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by yumyum 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
try not to do something like that. if you do that now it can ruin your relationship with him forever. you dont want a relationship based on a lie. if you told him it would give him a reason not to trust you. hes not out there gettin busy so i suggest you try not to. obviously he means something to you or you wouldnt have waited 6 months so far.
2006-08-15 03:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This men is bodging bullets and your worry he's not calling you 10 times a week honey do us all a favor and shut up
2006-08-15 02:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by justafriend 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋