When is a good age to..........?

Question

I have been teaching my chilren to put school in front of boyfriends & girlfriends. I know that it is so hard on them because they see all of there friends having BF's or GF's..Kids now days are having sex earlier than age 9-10...Mine are 14,12,&11 and have never even kissed the opposite sex...(I'm very proud of them)..Besides I don't want them to make the same bad coices that I did(NO MY KIDS ARE NOT MISTAKES THEY ARE THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF MY WRONG DECISIONS) A Few ??'s from everyone..Am I doing the right thing?,Will this make them go buck wild later?,Will they appreciate me or hate me?,and What age is a good age to atleast start dating with a group of friends(so you won't be tempted into doing something if you was alone), other couples?? PS...I would like answers from young ones also(mainly between the ages of 11-17years) Thank you for any and all responses--Mainly the honest ones.....

Answer 1

I admire your morals and your thinking.
Too many parents these days don't give a damn about what their kids are getting up to and are all too willing to let the state pick up the pieces.
But remember that this is a very thin line you are walking. No matter how sophisticated our lives have become, we are all animals under the skin, and your children have raging hormones to contend with. I don't blame you for wanting to protect them but remember that Convent girls are usually the worse
Your kids aren't programmable little robots, all you can do is arm them with good sense and let them get out there otherwise you are in danger of denying them the important social experiences that will turn them into well-rounded human beings.
We've all seen the loser geek types who just end up being pathetic and abused in later life.
Don't lay off though about putting their education first - they'll attract a much better class of date later on.

Answer 2

i have a 12 yrs old .. actually my other daughter is 10 also i am very overprotective of mine .. i have to be i don't care what other says or think i feel that the right thing to do .. for their stake of the fact that we can teach them everyday what this world is really bout and how people can affect their decision by peer pressure i don't think u did anything wrong at all i can tell u that continue doing what u do .. and stand by what u feel is right as i do the same and raise them not like the world but as their own individual so they can go out and make the right decisions and learn from the wrong and know the consequences that occurs when making the wrong ones.. i do believe in tough love and i don't think anything wrong with that i would suggest at 16 let them have that but i don't know because this is a different generation so much different than ours then.. truthfully we gotta hope and pray that we guide them by example .. don't stop, keep loving ...(smile)

Answer 3

I'm wrestling with this very same thing. I have 3 girls ages, 16, 14, 10. We agreed that there would be no dating until 16 but it's very hard to do. I allow the 16 & 14 to go out to age appropriate parties (as a group) and of course boys are there. They both have cell phone so of course boys are calling. I don't know that I will ever be ready for the next step so do yourself a favor and do this in stages. By their reaction to each level of freedom you'll know when it's time.

Answer 4

hi, im 25. My folks had some pretty easy rules to follow. Girlfriends in primary school no real issue but i guess times are changing. In highschool any dates were taken in public settings like the movies, etc to aviod 1 on 1 time. Anything other than that was with a group of friends. Other rules could include you can see them but when I am at home. No parents, no visiting. Allow them time alone but in public places. There are no hard and fast rules though. All my folks did was lay out thier expectations and I expected them enough to try to adhere to them as much as possible.

Answer 5

I AM A MOM AS WELL n i think that it depends on the kids maturity!! for example if i see my son at the age of 15 wantin to have sex but not knowin basic things like protection n other things ofcourse i will tell him to wait!! A big mistake at this age could ruin his life!!! The same goes 4 my daughter n ever stricter!!I was a virgin till i found my hubby!! i will explain to her the virtue of being pure 4 the one n only!! and ofcourse to know what they want ,how their partner n hubby or wife to be, should be in character!

Answer 6

Relax, old people these days (I'm 20 by the way) think sex is like the end of the world and to be quite honest it's embarrassing how they deal with it.

Being intimate with someone is a beautiful thing. Kids in high school really don't have to worry nearly as much about STDs so you can throw that one out. As their parent it'd be up to you to take care of birth control (assuming they're girls) or condoms. Sometimes if you baby them then they will go "buck wild" later but THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THINGS ARE TO INFORM YOUR KIDS OF UNBIASED TRUTH AND LET THEM MAKE THE DECISIONS THEMSELVES.

I lost my virginity at 17 but honestly I could have lost it at 13 and I would have been fine... man did I have a sex drive back in 6th grade.

If you baby them and control them then they can lash out at you and lose trust in you. Don't ever lie to them. Don't teach them that sex is a "scary" thing. Teach them the truth and let them make their own decisions.

Every kid matures differently so just look at them physically... are they pretty much at that point where physically they are ready? If so then make sure you inform them how to keep sex *safe*.

Just remember that sex isn't something that kids should be afraid of. Teach them how to take care of themselves and become sexually indendent and they should be fine.

Answer 7

Thats a difficult 1... im 21 and i found that the children that were raised the with the most dicipline are the ones who do the deed earlier... my best saying is inoccent until the light are out... you must bring a balance to their lives... let them go out with friends... but tell them that they must think very wisely about their decisions.. cause you can only keep them angels for so long... some or othertime they gonna bum uglies and you wont be there to stop it.

Answer 8

well heres the thing, AIDS is rampant. There is no real age to let them date, but if they have sex, it is a huge gamble.
In the usa, 67% of black males ages 8-45 are HIV positive. That is a cold hard fact. Then there's the Whites and hispanic percents. White males 8-56 years of age 18% and Hispanic men 8-43 years of age 22%.
So it is very dangerous to let them date at all. But if you do, I'd have a chaperone (did I spell that right?),

www.cdc.gov
www.joycemeyer.org
www.kcm.org

Answer 9

i kinda know what u mean. im between 11-17 and i cant date niether. it is a little hard because i am of dating age. i think 14/15 is a good age. but they shouldn't date because they can. they just hav to make sure its the right kind of guy/girl. they wont hate u. later on they are going to be thankful because seriously 11 and 12 are way too young to date. just make sure your children know why they cant date. dont simply tell them they cant. explain your concerns that way they wont hate you. they wont think you just dont want them happy.remember the more rules you make the more faults there will be so always explain your rules never just put them there

Answer 10

I don't think it's the age of the child that should matter but their level of commitment. If you can see that your daughter and her boyfriend are serious about each other and ready for an adult relationship then as they reach 16, you should let them have private time together. Let your daughters make their own mistakes, just make sure that they are well educated regarding contraception and sex in general.