my bf never propsed me. My parents r worried.I lv my bf, I cant live w/o him. Plz help me what to do 2 get him

Question

Hi,

I have a major problem, I have a bf and we have been together for 1.5 years. He knows very well that I love him and want to marry him. My parents know that too. But now I am in my late thirties and my bf is also. But he hasn't proposed me yet. He is very short temperred guy. I have asked him couple of times, by telling my parents r worried and want me to get maaired. Once he asked me to go ahead with that. But I am scared, I love him and I begged not to leave me. He some how want me to change and I have been changing for him. But till date he hasnt proposed me. I am in real pressure, My siblings are ready to get married. My parents r saying how long u will wait, what will happen to u if he leaves u. You are getting old. I have told my bf regarding my parents. They r worried about me. He response is silience as of now. He hasnt said any thing. I feel sad, for whom I am doing so much. He can not get married for the timing as he has some family issues. But I jus need a assurance.

Answer 1

You are Infatuated not in Love

Answer 2

Maybe you should be a bit more patient because 1.5 years isn't a long time. This is a strange situation if you think that you should change to make him happy. If he doesn't like who you are and if you don't like who he is then maybe you shouldn't be together. Is he someone that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with and be happy. If not then you should think it over. Also, he has to love you. Marriage isn't about anything and it just doesn't work if the love doesn't come from both directions. And why are you begging him not to leave you. If you really cared about him, you would be willing to let him go if he doesn't want to be with you. After all, caring for someone would mean that you have their best interest at hand. I know it is sad, but be patient and think about the decision you are making. Marriage is a big step and you all should be able to live with each other and not have to change. He should accept you for you because that is who you are. He can't change you; if he wants a girl with certain qualities then he should go find a girl with those qualities and not make you change. Make sure he loves you as well...That is the only way it is going to work.

Answer 3

Honestly Leila,

Ditch your boyfriend AND your parents (temporarily for your parents).

As soon as you said your bf was short-tempered and family issues, I knew it wasn't going to work out. And please...no more begging.... it is in a word - PATHETIC.

As for your parents, it must be really frustrating for them to be shoving the marriage issue down your throat, but at the end of the day, it's your life. Wouldn't you prefer to be happily married to the man you DESERVE even if it took a while longer? Divorce is nasty, expensive, painful, often embarrassing, and tremendously stressful - especially when children are involved.

Do you really think Mr. Boyfriend is going to give you the life you deserve? The life you want? Do you think he's the perfect father for your future children - if you want any? Don't sell yourself short. He sounds as if he needs a wake up call anyway. Your clinging to him is only empowering him to NOT marry you. Basically - he knows you're not going anywhere, so why should he rush? What does he have to lose (but his house and money if he marries you only to end up in a divorce)?

I shouldn't have to tell you you deserve better. I'm sorry Mr. Right hasn't come along for you yet, but apparently you haven't been looking as well as you should have because you are still barking up the wrong tree. Get yourself together, make a good long list of the requirements you must have for the man of your dreams, make yourself as marriageable as possible (get your life in order, learn to love yourself, etc.), and go to places where you will find great men. He is out there... fortunately for you, "he" is not your current boyfriend.

Marriage is NOT all it's cracked up to be and when you do it, you should have it done because you are BOTH IN LOVE with each other.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Have some brains my dear, don't get emotional. It happens sometimes to a guy, may be he can't make a decision (you know male ego). He must be confused whether he wants to get married or not. Well you have to be strong, you need to take decision before it is too late.

Please be strong,

Call him ask and tell him that you need to talk.

So be very straight forward and ask him if he is getting married to you or not. If he say he wants to think , give him some time and don't meet him till you get the answer.

If he says no, say thanks to him and ask you parents to look for someone. You are wasting your time if he is not serious.
You parents are right they have some responsibilities. Put yourself into their shoe and thing about them. You will have kid tomorrow and what will you do.

What every, you have tpo handle this, do ir right now. I know it is very painful to leave someone you love but it better to. We are always there to help and to get you out of this situation.

So be brave and talk to Ur BF. All the best.

Answer 5

wow ur family needs to back off, that kind of pressure on you to get married is unnecessary. Marriage is a very serious commitment and shouldn't be decided on in a hurry or without serious thought. age doesn't matter, if you are supposed to get married to him then it'll happen when he's ready too. don't let ur parents or siblings push you into something it sounds like YOU don't want as much as they do. my advice.. wait it out and see what happens. if he isn't the one then leave him and find someone else. you're never too old to fall in love

Answer 6

omg! you feel you're in deep sh!t?

dont feel that way...
ang babae, hindi nanghahabol, siya dapat ang hinahabol!

and what's the rush?

getting married is not an easy thing. LOVING SOMEONE SO MUCH is NOT & NEVER WILL BE reason enough to jump into marriage...

u have mentioned - you're on ur late 30's... not OLD at all!
respect his decisions - wait for him to say it to you... don't spoil his plans - who knows he's just waiting for the right time - the right moment to blurt it out - AT LONG LAST!Ü

oh one thing more - u & ur bf have been going steady for.... how many years? 1 and a half? darling - neither that would be enough basis in engaging urself into marriage.

i'm 25, & i've seen a lot of failed marriages... that's why eventhough me & my bf have been going steady for 10 YEARS already...yeah, we started from highschool - & tho were already engaged on our 6th anniversary... we try to take a step at a time... i mean - absolutely NO RUSH at all! Guys don't want the PRESSURE. you've mentioned ur bf is a short-tempered fellow and he might as well be hating you for BUGGING him to finally say the words you've been longing to hear - and if 1 bad thing will lead to worse, then you'll be sorry...

my advise is, JUST TAKE IT SLOW... don't nag, GO WITH THE FLOW.... instead of waiting... do nice things for him & for your relationship... ok?

Answer 7

You need to not worry about getting married by a certain age. You have a lot of time to do that and if you try and "win your boyfriend over" or pressure him to get married your only gonna push him away. Maybe he's not the guy for you or maybe you need to be patient.

Answer 8

Your b/f sounds like a jerk, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? You need to develop your own personality, be yourself and not dependent on someone else. Concentrate on your own life and personal growth, you will become a more interesting person and the b/f might then realize that HE cant live without you. Good luck!

Answer 9

Wait till you're the two sufficiently previous,then decide on an same faith,or none. father and mom many times don`t believe the childs decision of significant different besides,yet once you're sufficiently previous they'll haven't any say.

Answer 10

You will NEVER find your answer here, your parents should have nothing to do with whether you get married or not. The more you push, and tell him your parents are worried, blah blah blah, the farther away you are going to push him.

Answer 11

Maybe he hasn't proposed to you because he already feels trapped; ever thought of that? You sound like despite your age, you don't have the emotional maturity for marriage.