I CANNOT and WOULD NOT voluntarily quit my job. My boyfriend says he will propose but wants to wait until after the baby to get married. What do I do?
2006-08-14 17:50:55 · 22 answers · asked by justcurious 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
To further clarify--I am afraid my crazy school board will fire me!! I love teaching! I know I'll love being a mom in 7 months and a wife in 12 months. However, can't do both right now and my priorities are my teaching and having a healthy baby...so what i'm asking is will i get fired for being ENGAGED and PREGNANT? Last year a pregnant (unwed and unengaged teacher) mysteriously got 'laid off'...anyone know the legalities? Plus, is this an immoral example for 8th graders??? UGH! I'm so confused!
2006-08-14 18:02:28 · update #1
Should I just change my name informally? Can I do that??? Could I just change it to Mrs. ___________(future last name)??? Could I do this without being legally married?? HELP! There has to be someone who has gone through this!
2006-08-14 18:09:57 · update #2
Here's my advice:
There's no need to quit your job just because you're pregnant. Assuming that you will have no complications, you could teach until you deliver! Then you can take your maternity leave (usually 6 weeks) and then you will have summer break to spend time with your baby :) When the next school season rolls around, if you want to go back to work you should have lots of daycare choices. It is especially important that you keep teaching to keep your insurance, and to be able to provide for your new little one!
About your boyfriend: I feel that no one should get married just because of a baby. He should help you care for the child and help you raise it and be a dad, but that doesn't mean you two have to stay together if it's not for the best. Do whatever is best for the baby and for each of you. Good luck!
Edit: It's really no business of the school district whether or not you are married, or whether or not you are pregnant for that matter. I don't see any problem here. If they do try to fire or lay you off for this, they can surely get into some pretty serious trouble for discrimination.
2006-08-14 18:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you working for a conservative school board? My friend had a baby and she worked for a Catholic school board. She just took her maternity leave and went back to school. And this was 18 years ago. The board may not be thrilled but unless you are working for a private school where they have guidelines there isn't much they can do. So you have sex in your 30s OMG!
Do you want the baby? Then have it. This is the 21st century. There will be questions from the kids. There will be harrasing phone calls from parents about role modeling etc so I suggest you have some answers ready about how you plan on handling those.
But I would stay with the job too. And have the baby.
2006-08-14 18:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by Justme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what the problem is. You are entitled to maternity leave for when the baby is born, so you can take time off without having to quit your job. You don't HAVE to get married just because he got you pregnant, i think thats the wrong reason to get married. So you'll end up being a single working mom maybe, it's been done before.
2006-08-14 17:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by Karen H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get engaged! It is almost as good.
Talk to the principal and let her/him know that you intend to get married but that you fiance wants to get married in June.
Be intuitive and figure out what is going on around you concerning your pregnancy.
One of my V.P. coworkers in a large business got pregnant. She had excellent reviews prior to the pregnancy and lousy ones afterwards. She was fired. She was a 41 year-old single female with a boyfriend who was told while married that her chance of ever conceiving was nil. There were whispers, but it was 20 years ago. I think her boss was threatened. Lots of males feel that they are not needed.
I, on the other hand, quit corporate life, taught skiing and got pregnant. The Colorado ski resort (begins with a "B") treated me perfectly well. I've had a few run-ins with macho males especially those who are failures and have difficulty dealing with my success.
2006-08-14 18:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a fellow teacher I do understand your dilema.... our jobs are political and many many parents will not approve of an unmarried teacher having a child but in spite of that, human rights legislation still applies to you and you cannot be discriminated against.
I would try to get engaged asap and contact a union representative just in case things get ugly.
Realistically though, you may be worried over nothing. Although some parents may not like that you are pregnant, most will likely know they cannot do anything about it.
2006-08-14 18:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by border 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your job you blessed saint, (anyone who teaches 8th grade has to be a saint) tell him you will need the insurance from your job to have the baby. Also think of 8 years you have paid into teacher retirement and other benefits you have.
Valley View School System in Arkansas
2006-08-14 18:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Big Daddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you worried about moral issues? The kids don't need to know you aren't married and if anyone else at the school says anything then just tell them that marriage is planned when you and your bf decide on a date. Also there is no reason to consider quitting your job.
2006-08-14 17:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by Tessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you have to do is take maternity leave but do you want to raise your baby or do you want a daycare to raise your baby and miss all the fun cute things babies do that once you miss them those moments are gone forever. you can always go back to work. I would get married before the baby is born if you are planning on getting married anyways why not sooner than later. is he scared or something that's a silly excuse to wait to propose! good luck
2006-08-14 18:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by purdue77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
I am pretty sure you don't have to quit your job. Do you want to have a baby and get married? That life isn't for everyone.
If you do want that, then what's the problem? I am 32 and I was five when my parents got married. I was the flower girl! These days that is much more acceptable, my parents were big time hippies.
But, what do you want to do?
2006-08-14 18:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Nicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does you being pregnant have to do with quitting your job? Is it because you're not married? Whatever the case you have the baby and either give it up for adoption or raise it with or without the boyfriend/fiance/husband!
2006-08-14 17:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋