My ex bf, after 5 years, is in my life again but with a kid with someone else. I still have feelings for this person and i think he still has feelings for me. BUT HE HAS A KID!!!! Did i mention that I come from a very religious family? They don't even want me talking to him but I'm 25 years old. Help me, help me! What do I do?
For almost 3 years Ive been single and this is the only person that really knows me that I feel most comfotable with. Please help.
2006-08-14 17:48:57 · 50 answers · asked by Aisha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you'd should give him a chance if you still love him.Try seeing your pastor or chancellor for advice. Cause we all are not professional advisers. That would help so much.
2006-08-15 17:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by Agentj100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN RUN RUN then stop take a deep breath and then RUN SOME MORE. No girl this is a very bad idea. yes you might have some leftover feelings for this guy but no good will come of it If there is a kid there is a baby mamma and who needs the drama that always brings. You deserve better, much better like a man that will not be forever divided between you and another woman and child.
He is the only person that really knows you and yu feel comfortable with. Girl get some guts and get out there and meet some new people. This guy is not the way to a good life do what you want but it is you who will be left alone on holidays and perhaps become the new baby mamma to his new girlfriend. If he'd do it to her, he will do it to you. GET OUT NOW
2006-08-14 17:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well are you planning on marrying him, has he asked you to marry him? Could you love his child? Have you seen this child? What is bothering you about this child? This child is his blood. He can not throw the child away. If you love him you will except this child. You can not love him without the love of the child. You said you think he has feelings for you? So he has not said he is in love with you or wants a marriage with you.. Their are a lot of religious father out there raising children on their own. If you are 25 you should be able to see and have a relationship with whom ever you want. If you feel comforable with him that is not enough for a long term marriage. You will be seeing the child's mother if you marry. What he has done was move on with his life after you broke up. I think you are living in the past.. I say if you can not except his child then move on to find someone else that your parents would like better. You might in up hating the child and no child needs that.. Just move on.. Tell him your feelings honestly before he does get close again or he will end up hating you.
2006-08-14 18:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 options, avoid him you can find someone for you. It is not difficult for a person to find a match or BF in this world.
Option no: 2
If you really love him and you think he is the best person you know and can be with him than you need to accept him in what so condition. If he has a kid you have to accept him.
But answer me one question, if you think he cares for you how come he had been with other person for 5 years and have a kid even. You still want to trust him.
No body will, if i am in your place i will not look at him. He has already enjoyed his life with someone else and now he is come back.
No doubt you have to make a decision, we can only advice but think hard.
2006-08-14 17:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by Nick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate when people have those kind of mind frames.... RUN because he has a kid? Are you serious? I have a child and a bf who isnt his father because my child's father passed before our son was born...I wouldnt want people runnin away because of the most beautiful thing in my life. I dont want people missing out on the oppertunity to get to know me and know me as a spouse when Im a good person because I have a child...thats bull ****. If HE is important to you, then his child should be also! Your 25? You should have known what I just told you by now, and Im 19.
2006-08-14 17:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let his having a kid rule out the possibility of a relationship with him. Obviously it brings a whole new factor into a relationship but try to look at things such as his relationship with the child, is it positive and loving? What is his relationship w/ the child's mother? How could you fit into this? How will you handle it when they need to communicate, because they will.
Don't jump back in because you've been single for a while, jump back in for the right reasons. At the same time, it wouldn't be a "dealbreaker" for me if that's the only issue you have with him.
2006-08-14 17:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by SoccerFan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest and ask urself does it really matter to you that he have a kid? and if ever (if the kid lives with him) are you really willing to raise the kid (that is if u get married) as ur own? I dont think having a kid changed the traits that made you loved this man, if it did maybe it was only for the better... You should not take it against him since having kids is not a mortal sin and everyone deserves to be happy even single parents (we are still human believe me!!).. Why not meet the kid and get to know them (father and kid) again? maybe you are just panicking for no reason at all. Religious parents??? its ur life girl not theirs.. decide for your own happiness and stand by your decision.. wish u all the best..
2006-08-14 18:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by sen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there now!!!
Speaking from experience here. My last BF had a daughter, she was beautiful but her mother was total cow. You will always come second no matter what.
Dating someone with a child can be very stressful and can cause a lot of heartache, you need to be a very strong and understanding person.
My experience has actually made me not want to have kids myself now......I have a Dog instead. My advice is find a nice guy with no baggage, you'll be alot happier.
2006-08-14 17:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by whwt_1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really like him, and the reason for the break up is not an issue any more, then what should the kid have to do with it? Men do it all the time and take someone Else's kids and raise them, what makes it any different if it is him with the kid. Would he not come back to you if you were the one with the kid... I bet he would come in and learn to love that child no matter what, and if you really like this guy, that is what you should do
2006-08-14 17:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what makes you happy, but the kid is part of the package, you have to love them not just him, If you are not ready to have a kid even part time dont get with him, As for the parents and religion its not the 50s respect your parents but dont let them control your life, Ive been through this, mine had two kids, love kids, but I have no time for them, and they need time, so I told her no matter how much we are into eachother, its not in my life plan, just my oppinion, best advice is dont let any one or anything hold you back or you will get no where in life, but the kid thing dont take this decision lightly,
2006-08-14 18:03:04 · answer #10 · answered by martin_werner2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That age 9-12 is an ungainly age. it would want to were more effective efficient in case you 2 had gotten married and made the association slightly more effective everlasting. because it truly is you've the liberty to stroll out of their lives a twin of their actual mom did.. no ask your self they don't look to be getting alongside with any of you. major resentment and undesirable vibes in that abode and in case your BF do not see it then do you actually opt to stay with a guy which could't be conscious rude habit?
2016-11-25 01:45:17 · answer #11 · answered by pfarr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋